Hi OP, I have a now 17 year old DD. Her preschool teacher mentioned some attention issues and she was born with a medical issue that made ADHD more likely. She had testing at 4.5 and 7 - had symptoms of ADHD but didn’t qualify for the full dx yet. She had a Neuropsych at 10 and finally met the criteria for the actually diagnosis. She also had some anxiety as well and did therapy around ages 4 and 10 for about 10 sessions each which were helpful at the time.
We asked her school for a 504 in 5th grade bc we wanted it in place for middle school and we were starting to see education impacts in school, especially not having enough time for tests. We didn’t start meds until halfway through 7th grade during the pandemic. It took a lot of trial and error to find the right dose but we found a med that helps with attention but doesn’t dull her personality. Maturity also probably helped as she was very resistant to meds for awhile. She is a senior now, applying for colleges, and finally recognizes that the meds do help.

Severe anxiety can present as ADHD as it affects executive function and working memory. Think about it- if you were asked to take a test and concentrate on something but there was a giant monster in the room would you be able to focus on anything but the monster? My advice is to focus on the anxiety, either with therapy or or your own, and see if things improve.

Talk therapy doesn't work for ADHD. Check out Eli Lebowitz's parent book, that is a good place to start.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We just had our 10 year old diagnosed, sounds similar. We haven’t yet found an obvious path for support for a kid like her whose issues aren’t yet affecting academic performance.

Right … because they don’t actually meet the clinical definition of ADHD. So there’s nothing to do.

Yikes. I’m offering advice and you’re claiming my kid’s diagnosis is incorrect? She has other issues and that’s why we got her tested. Go troll somewhere else.

Anonymous wrote:We just had our 10 year old diagnosed, sounds similar. We haven’t yet found an obvious path for support for a kid like her whose issues aren’t yet affecting academic performance.

Right … because they don’t actually meet the clinical definition of ADHD. So there’s nothing to do.

We just had our 10 year old diagnosed, sounds similar. We haven’t yet found an obvious path for support for a kid like her whose issues aren’t yet affecting academic performance.

I have a 6 year old who I strongly suspect has a moderate form of inattentive adhd. She has a diagnosed social anxiety issue which we have addressed and are managing though therapy and meds, so we aren’t entirely new to this road. She had a full neuropsych done last year but while they flagged adhd as a future watch out, she was too young for any sort of official diagnosis.

In school, her teachers have noticed thar she seems as if sometimes she’s not listening or often cant follow multi step instructions, but it is not at the point of interfering with learning and she is doing academically well,

From a social perspective, she has made friends with some other neurodivergent kids - i definitely see how her impulsivity comes out at times in social settings/has trouble sometimes with sustaining back-and-forth dialogue with more neurotypical peers. But that’s ok - she seems generally happy and does have friends. I have to be on her every step of the morning routine to get out the door on time. But nothing right now screams that we need to take real action, so we’re just watching. She is very young right now, but I feel that as academic demands increase, she will need more support and honestly I have no clue what that looks like .

Aside from checklists to help support executive function…if you watched and waited, how did you know it was time to get help? Do you redo the neuropsych?Who did you turn to? Does talk therapy ever help for adhd? Or is the only option meds? We do have a psychiatrist that prescribes her anxiety meds that we work with, but I would like to hear parental perspectives.