My kid went to college two years ago. I'm a single parent with an uninvolved ex. Everyone kept asking me what I was doing to "fill my time." I said, "Nothing at all and it's been wonderful." They looked at me like I had two heads. Our culture values productivity and when someone doesn't fit that mold, people seem to thing something's wrong.

I do enjoy time with my dog and making travel lists for when my kid graduates. I'm quite content with that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I've NEVER felt this way before. I have always been super motivated. Don't get me wrong, I'm not depressed at all. I'm pretty happy. I am very interested in traveling and planning vacations as well as team tennis. On the weekends I like to go out to lunch and dinner with family and friends. It's not like I'm a recluse but I just don't care that much about a lot of other things.

This is me exactly. 55 years old.

The past 2 years, I just don't gos about work. My youngest is finishing their college apps, and all of us can't wait for that to be completed.

The only thing that excites me is traveling. I'm at my most happiest when traveling. It doesn't even have to be international travel. Even just driving from place to place makes me happy.

I used to love to garden, but my garden now looks awful. I have to go out there and pull the plants from the summer that are now all dead, but I don't want to do it. I don't mind meeting up with friends and family, but I only want to meet up with a select few friends.

I do think I'm a bit depressed. I'm thinking of going on SSRI or something.

I feel this way, except I’m 47 and don’t even want to travel. It just sounds like so much effort.

I wonder if estrogen will help?

Thud = this
Lie = low

Also it doesn’t surprise me the PP that says she loves travel more. Hormones E and P used to facilitate the functioning of a lot of neurotransmitters in the brain like dopamine and seratonin and stuff like that but it’s not happening anymore. You can kinda get it with new, scary and exciting experiences that jolt your happy brain chemicals back to life when E and P and T aren’t there anymore. I rode a rollercoaster the other day after decades of not doing it and I wish I could every morning to wake my brain up!’

Yes OP thud sounds like classic symptom of lie estrogen and testosterone and probably the new baseline for there rest of your life.

You have options whether you care or not. Many women embrace the “don’t give f@$?s” attitude. Others like me have important jobs and financial contributions they make to family so while the “no F@$?s” is a part of my new identity, I also take hormones. So after estradiol and progesterone (female appropriate doses of testosterone also help motivation but I haven’t gotten there yet). I also have had to do all the lifestyle things plus get a job I like better than my older but more highly paid and stressful former job bc it takes everything to feel more like my old self.

I feel this way too.

OP, it seems to me like you have gained some level of wisdom. You are at the point in your life where you realize what matters to you and what doesn't. I think American culture is really good at making us think that if we aren't doing ALL THE THINGS ALL THE TIME, that we are somehow missing out. We aren't. Life is more than being productive for the sake of productivity. Do what you like. Turn down things you don't. Breathe and learn to simply enjoy your short time on this small blue marble.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like freedom

This. Rejoice!!!

Me too!

OP - do you have kids? Are they now independent? I found my “I don’t give a sh*t anymore” feeling came more from when my last kid was off to college. I was freaking tired!

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like freedom

This. Rejoice!!!

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I've NEVER felt this way before. I have always been super motivated. Don't get me wrong, I'm not depressed at all. I'm pretty happy. I am very interested in traveling and planning vacations as well as team tennis. On the weekends I like to go out to lunch and dinner with family and friends. It's not like I'm a recluse but I just don't care that much about a lot of other things.

This is me exactly. 55 years old.

The past 2 years, I just don't gos about work. My youngest is finishing their college apps, and all of us can't wait for that to be completed.

The only thing that excites me is traveling. I'm at my most happiest when traveling. It doesn't even have to be international travel. Even just driving from place to place makes me happy.

I used to love to garden, but my garden now looks awful. I have to go out there and pull the plants from the summer that are now all dead, but I don't want to do it. I don't mind meeting up with friends and family, but I only want to meet up with a select few friends.

I do think I'm a bit depressed. I'm thinking of going on SSRI or something.

Sounds like freedom

OP here - I've NEVER felt this way before. I have always been super motivated. Don't get me wrong, I'm not depressed at all. I'm pretty happy. I am very interested in traveling and planning vacations as well as team tennis. On the weekends I like to go out to lunch and dinner with family and friends. It's not like I'm a recluse but I just don't care that much about a lot of other things.

Anonymous wrote:I have felt this way since I was 30 OP 😂.

Maybe it is related to hormones? Hormones are destiny.

Interesting, op, have you felt bouts of this throughout your life?

I have felt this way for 2 years. Recently, I found a new doctor through MIDI. She has put me on HRT, and I feel like a different person. I don’t know how I survived before….

I have felt this way since I was 30 OP 😂.

Maybe it is related to hormones? Hormones are destiny.

I am 51, and a self-employed full-time working mom of two upper teens. Over the past year or so I have started feeling very unmotivated and bored with many aspects of my life. I work out because I have to, but I don't love it and I am no longer waking up at 5:30 am to do it. I'm also not taking every exercise class around town like I used to. It's not that I've let myself go; but rather I just don't think its matters. I can work really hard and its not going to make a difference for me. Its all diet. I am doing my job well but I don't feel super motivated to do more. I could be trying to make more money but I kind of don't feel like it. I don't want to work around the clock anymore. I've done that. I don't want to go to the neighborhood halloween parade because I don't care about little kids costumes anymore. I care a ton about my family and I'm fortunate to have a close circle of girl friends but I find myself just not giving a shit anymore about a lot. I'm not sure if that is normal and healthy or alarming. I kind of feel good about it.