This is so hard. We chose the good pyramid when we bought our starter home, and financially it was hard for awhile. I had a terrible experience in middle school and didn't want that for my children. It is fine now, as our incomes grew much faster than our mortgage. If our incomes had not grown, the hardest thing would have been the expectation of my children's peers that they can afford to do anything they want. It is pervasive here- and it seems everyone is going on international vacations for every school break, in addition to private lessons for every sport and activity.

Now that my kids are middle school aged, I'm really glad that they are in a school where they are physically safe- but there are many places in the county that would be possible. We have good friends the same age in a poorly rated pyramid, and they are doing great.

I wish the county still published the violent incident report, because I think that is info that is absolutely key to this decision.

We did this, OP. Our kids were in elementary school and we moved to a much better school pyramid within the same district. We doubled our mortgage and have a much higher interest rate because of bad timing, and do not regret it one bit.

The differences in the schools is like night and day. There are fewer disruptive kids, the difference between the lowest performing and the highest performing children is smaller than at the old school, and there is less teacher turnover at this school, and therefore more experienced teachers. Most importantly - both of our children are excelling and the one that had previously been doing really poorly in school has improved significantly.

I can't say if it will be the right decision for you, but it was absolutely the right decision for us.

I would base this on one thing: are my children especially sensitive, timid or impressionable? Some children can glide above huge classes, intense discipline, violent peers, etc. For others it’s soul-crushing and can lead to therapies and an eventual switch to private school that will cost more than if you had just moved.

Academics, per se, would not be my concern. You can always supplement, dive deep into interests and high achievers will get a college admissions boost by attending a lower rated school.

If your children are likely to thrive emotionally amidst the chaos and peer group, I would stay put but watch them closely.

You actually have a better chance of getting into a better college coming from a lower ranked school.

Truly.

As long as your kid is getting a quality education, is safe, and has a good community - plus strong, committed parents - YOU WILL BE FINE. Why would you give that up?

(FWIW, this is a debate in our house constantly - one spouse went to a very elite public school in a very wealthy town and got into only mediocre colleges because the competition was so insane - both within hs and from colleges that were going to admit every top student from said high school; the other spouse went to a very mediocre hs in a rural, non DC area and got into excellent colleges as a top student from that no name hs)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have charter/application school options?

It's interesting in that I know people who live in some cities with fairly terrible neighborhood public schools, but they say that nearly everyone willing to get their kid to a charter/application school is able to attend a decent charter/application school.

Also, sounds like some private options are still a better financial decision vs. moving.

No, we're in FCPS so the only alternative is TJ which feels unlikely. And we're not Christian, so any private schools we would consider would be upwards of $30k a year, at which point moving would make more sense.

Privates are not better than any public school.

OP stay where you are. Just stay involved in your kids education. If you can travel with them, take them to museams and just see the world.

It's about the peers. Do you expect your kids to go to college? Are the vast majority of kids in your current school cluster going to collage?

We bought in an expensive area several decades ago for this reason

Anonymous wrote:You can have a bad teacher even in a great pyramid.

The folks in the DC metro get way too hung up on going to the best rated schools.

OP how bad of school are you talking about? There are schools in FCPS that have a true mix of high and low achievers and while the school would never say this, the high achievers band together in Honors classes and pretty much do well with challenging classes and a nice cohort of kids. Then there are a handful of pyramids where the high achieving kids are a small portion of the school and struggle to find a high achieving cohort.

So how bad is bad?

You can have a bad teacher even in a great pyramid.

The folks in the DC metro get way too hung up on going to the best rated schools.

Anonymous wrote:Do you have charter/application school options?

It's interesting in that I know people who live in some cities with fairly terrible neighborhood public schools, but they say that nearly everyone willing to get their kid to a charter/application school is able to attend a decent charter/application school.

Also, sounds like some private options are still a better financial decision vs. moving.

No, we're in FCPS so the only alternative is TJ which feels unlikely. And we're not Christian, so any private schools we would consider would be upwards of $30k a year, at which point moving would make more sense.

Do you have charter/application school options?

It's interesting in that I know people who live in some cities with fairly terrible neighborhood public schools, but they say that nearly everyone willing to get their kid to a charter/application school is able to attend a decent charter/application school.

Also, sounds like some private options are still a better financial decision vs. moving.

Really depends on how bad the schools are. School is a place you're sending your kids for ~8 hours every day, 50% of their waking lives Monday thru Friday.

Will they be safe? Will they be physically and/or emotionally bullied?

Will they be happy and challenged and learn to love learning? Or will school be drudgery of busywork and "screentime" babysitting? Will caring teachers have time to invest in your children's academic growth or will they be spending half of their time dealing with disruptive students or overwhelmed with foreign students who don't speak English?

What social circle are you creating for your children -- what type of kids will they be hanging out with and influenced by?

And in the end, how much is all of the above worth to you?

Only you can answer those questions based on the particulars of your situation.

Personally, we've always taken the view that we'll accept a smaller house and lower overall standard of living to provide the best education for our children. YMMV.

Just budget for tutoring, in case your children have a bad teacher one year. Much cheaper than moving.

I made the decision to live in an area that would give us a house that is the right size, MCPS schools but not the coveted ones and regular vacations plus fully funded college And retirement. No regrets at all. My kids have had a great life with lots of wonderful experiences and an excellent school experience. So much of education and the school experience is what you put into it.

You’re thinking about this in the right way. You’re clearly smart. Your kids are lucky to have you. There is no need to move. No need to get caught up in the rat race.

We bought our "starter" home in a low-rated school pyramid before we had kids, with the thought that we would move sometime during elementary school. Now that we have kids and are settled in here, we're having trouble deciding whether this makes sense. Our house is big enough for our family, we have friends in the neighborhood, and if we moved to a better school district we would have to make a number of tradeoffs.

If we stay, we will be able to fully fund retirement+college+grad school while also being able to take a couple of nice family vacations a year and generally not have to think much about money or budgeting. If we move we wouldn't be living paycheck to paycheck or anything, but we would have to pay close attention to our budget and would have a lot less left over for vacation, camps, extracurriculars, etc.

On one hand, I feel bad wanting to live an easier life at the expense of a potentially better education for my kids. On the other hand, I feel like having involved parents who care about education is half the battle when dealing with poorly rated schools, and the lifestyle we'll be able to live will be better for all. Would appreciate any thoughts from those who went through a similar decision!