I would wait until the fall season ends and see if the coach has individual player meetings and/or asks for feedback from parents. Then frame it as “[kid name] feels like xyz…” to reduce the chance of the coach becoming defensive.

Unfortunately some coaches are just very negative. We moved our oldest who was starting and playing the entire game because we could see the coach’s negativity getting to them. It’s not motivating to only hear what you and your teammates are doing wrong all the time.

I think the best coach for the youngest kids is a young person who can still tap into what it’s like to be the player. They may not have the licenses, but they have the enthusiasm and want to instill a love of the game in the kids. You have to do your research to find out where these coaches are. If your kid stays in soccer or really any sport, each year will be a learning experience in some way.

OP here. Thanks for the replies. This technically isn't "travel" it's a step below. He wouldn't have been happy staying in rec. The school he goes to had 3 rec teams through 2nd grade. His team was not good. He used to get really bummed after games because his team would lose regularly. Even though nobody was supposed to keep score, kids knew. He wanted to play with his friends on the other 2 teams. He has the skils to be there. The best kids from the other two teams joined this team.

Also, he plays baseball as well as soccer. He is absolutely obsessed with baseball. He can't get enough of it. Before all of you say just concentrate on baseball and give up soccer. He will tell you that he likes playing, he just doesn't like feeling like he is doing everything wrong or that he is a bad soccer player, which is how the coach was making him feel.

During the winter we take 2 big ski trips out West and we ski most weekends in WV. There is also a chance he will be on the ski team this year in WV.

I don't care whether he plays sports or not, but I want him to have other interests outside of school. Sports is what he gravitates to. We tried music and he isn't ready for learning an instrument. He is smart but not attracted to robotics or anything tech. He is a very high energy boy. (Even within the 8 yo boy cohort he is high energy) He prefers playing outside with his friends to being inside doing anything, including being on a screen.

The question remains whether I should say something to the coach. One of you said, yes, if the issue persists. I'm open to other opinions.

I would handle this by not having an 8 year old in travel soccer with a professional coach.

Your 8 year old is a child and he's not having fun playing soccer in that specific environment and probably most of them are not. Pretty simple.

OP, this is not uncommon. We've been doing this for 4 years now and the kids spirit goes up and down naturally. You can't train these kids at a high tempo constantly, they won't be excited and have that spark all the time. In fact, playing so much of 1 sport at age 8 becomes tough and it is kinda like having a Job now...your kid is going through the normal growth cycle of figuring out there is more to all these practices than doing the same things he used to like to do when he first started. Yes, it is hard for the kids to always understand what the coach wants. My DD, at age 8, had a 55 year old man who was a former Women's D1 Head Coach....he had complex drills and the learning curve was steep. It is 100% ok for your kid to skip a practice at his age. It is possible he is dealing with not being able to shine as much as he once did and he has to watch his friends shine now.
-It's normal. This dedication to 1 youth sport is a long journey.
-Also, it's ok to check in with the Coach if this continues for more than a few weeks.
-Kids are fickle and will be for years. But, please remember, it is a massive benefit of team sports, learning how to get along with others and a the coach -this will serve your child well later in life!

We have had this issue with almost every coach we have had. It comes down to coaches sometimes lack the ability to explain. When they say do X. The kids always want to do X, but what the coach meant is - when such and such is happening, do X, but in a different situation I need you to do Y. We have figured this out by carefully asking what happened when he said to do X and what was happening when he said to do Y and explaining the difference. The coaches are not realizing that at U8 to probably U15 level the kids have not developed the situational awareness to figure out you have to piece together when to do X or Y. We have only had a couple of coaches over the years who have figured this out and explain it like they are talking to an actual child who is still developing intellectually and is still actually learning the game. Film review really helps with this and not enough coaches do film review. When you find a good coach, stick with them.

My DS8 is on a soccer team. This is the first year for the kids to have a professional coach. We've seen a lot of growth in their playing in the 6 weeks of this season. The coach is professional and seems to be a bit tougher on the kids than a parent coach. There isn't lots of praise for their playing but lots of discussion and practice of what they are doing wrong or what needs improvement. For the first game, the coach gave the players that were taking practice seriously the most playing time and didn't play the others as much. Many parents were pissed until they found out that was what he did. Basically, if your kid was messing around at practice then they don't get to play much. The kids straightened up after that. They are all playing now, but the time each kid plays varies.

My son is a pretty good player. He is one of the starters and has scored at least one goal every game. However, my son seems to be losing the spark for playing. He wasn't excited that his team won or that he scored a goal in the last game. He told me the other night that he always feels like he is not good and always doing everything wrong. He also said he is confused that he tries to do X like coach told him to do but then coach is telling him to do Y. (his words, not mine) I know the coach needs to instill discipline and may be a bit stricter than what he would be for older kids. This crew of kids on the team all come from the same elementary school and are buddies who would goof off the entire practice.

I don't want or expect my kid to be coddled. My kid was one that played almost the entire first game, so we knew that he was not goofing off at practice. I'm fine with him being benched if he is goofing off at practice. I'm more concerned with his loss of "spirit" when he is actually trying hard at practice. My husband and I have been completely hands off beyond introducing ourselves to the coach. Do we say anything? Do we say something like, DS is telling us he is confused about what you want from him and he doesn't feel completely comfortable asking questions. I'm just not sure what to do in this situation.