Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid missed out on all academic honors his entire k-12 career. We never let him skip those days/events, because we told him we know he wanted his friends to show up for the art awards where he got something and he didn’t, and for the baseball banquet where he was recognized and others weren’t. We show up for each other’s achievements, even when it hurts us a bit to do so. It’s being a good friend.

I wish ours was a celebration like that; this is JUST to recognize kids who make it with breakfast —everyone else works quietly / independently in part of the first period (until the honor roll kids come in and class starts)

It’s hard. It makes our kids feel badly. But I do think, whatever the activity is, that you can help your kid see there are things they are good at and recognized for that those kids making honor roll might not get recognized for. School is about academics, so our kids can feel pretty rotten there. But if you can help them see that they shine in other areas it can offset that.

This is why many of us say to lean in hard into your kids joys and strengths, even if you don’t inherently value them. My kid is world ranked in a video game where you play soccer with cars. Silly? Sure. But he knows he’s number whatever in Rocket League, and that gives him a spark or joy and achievement. We listen to him talk about it with interest, and treat tournaments with respect.

I hope your kid is feeling a little better tonight. It’s hard.

Anonymous wrote:My kid missed out on all academic honors his entire k-12 career. We never let him skip those days/events, because we told him we know he wanted his friends to show up for the art awards where he got something and he didn’t, and for the baseball banquet where he was recognized and others weren’t. We show up for each other’s achievements, even when it hurts us a bit to do so. It’s being a good friend.

I wish ours was a celebration like that; this is JUST to recognize kids who make it with breakfast —everyone else works quietly / independently in part of the first period (until the honor roll kids come in and class starts)

My kid missed out on all academic honors his entire k-12 career. We never let him skip those days/events, because we told him we know he wanted his friends to show up for the art awards where he got something and he didn’t, and for the baseball banquet where he was recognized and others weren’t. We show up for each other’s achievements, even when it hurts us a bit to do so. It’s being a good friend.

Op—thanks, I think this may largely be how our school handles it. It’s not big enough for other things to happen (even instruction); short 30-45 minutes but very much more fun than sitting in a classroom doing work. It definitely matters more to DC than us. Our older DC made it every quarter in a breezy way and we didn’t even know about it until end of day. I don’t think missing that window is the right approach (and we’ve sent them) but am open to other ideas. We do celebrate other achievements. The ironic thing is in at least one case where they missed honor roll there overall GPA was higher then in years they made it

I don't remember mine ever feeling shame for not making honor roll. Our view was that some people are good at school and some aren't. There were times when mine achieved something far greater than anyone anticipated they could, which was amazing. But we never made a big deal one way or another about grades for any of our kids. So honor roll was a non issue in our house.

And, we never let them stay home. There were things going on for those who didn't make honor roll so it's not like they were sitting around doing nothing. The world doesn't revolve around my kids and everything doesn't need to be about them. Honor roll celebrations are one of those things that wasn't about my kid with special needs. And, FWIW, my others didn't care either. Sometimes they skipped the celebration to hang out with friends doing other things.

I think honor roll celebrations are fairly common in ES/MS. For those with LD kids how do you help them handle the disappointment/shame or anything else when they miss it—especially if they were so close and worked hard. On a practical level do you ever let them miss the part of school where they are “left out”?

Our school has a donut breakfast during 1st period (1st-3rd q) it’s an A/B honor roll so about 50% make it, ours in 8th and has been on some but not all. Just waying pros of letting them go in once the celebration is over (vs just sitting in a partial class)