Anonymous wrote:So did your oldest son reinsert himself in his uncle's life? Look maybe he was doing it for the inheritance but as someone who works with a lot of elderly people, I've found they would rather that than be lonely.

Sounds more like younger son and his wife may have reinserted themselves in the moment of crisis, divorce, and health issues when OP gave that first update.

Sorry OP. I’d do a check in with my brother and then kids and consider a true up in my will if there was a snow job.

Anonymous wrote:It came up when our oldest son asked about some relatives given he was updating his estate plans.
-OP

So your oldest son got his will updated, and asked if your other relatives needed to do so.
Your spouse said "these three relatives have updated their wills, and Uncle Larlo cut you out of his when he did it."
This is information you got from Uncle Larlo's spouse, who he is on bad terms with (they mean to each other?).
And neither you nor your spouse have confirmed with Larlo to see if it's even true, let alone to understand his reasoning.

This is a mess, OP. You are stirring a pot and you don't even know what's in it.

If it were me, I'd imply to the son who is the executor that if he didn't split it evenly I'd leave everything to his brother.

Are your boys close?

It's a sh-tty situation, OP.

So did your oldest son reinsert himself in his uncle's life? Look maybe he was doing it for the inheritance but as someone who works with a lot of elderly people, I've found they would rather that than be lonely.

It came up when our oldest son asked about some relatives given he was updating his estate plans.
-OP

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did you find out? Have you asked your brother what’s going on? Do both boys know?

I will talk with him very soon if he’s stable. I hope I’m not lied to one way or the other.

Oldest redid his family’s estate given a new state law and asked if a bunch of relatives are Ok and all set with last survivor stuff. My spouse blurted out three of them including this one and tried to play it off like no big deal.

I think we’re all shocked, but I said we need to confirm.

Now I feel I need to confirm all childless people on both sides. This is weird.

What? I cannot figure out what you're talking about.

Anonymous wrote:So your brother wants to give everything to one of your two sons?

So what? I mean, if your son who's getting everything is an honorable man, he will split whatever he gets with his brother. Your brother will never know.

Yes I know.

I certainly hope the right thing will happen here. One way or another. Golden rule.

Nothing. MYOB

Anonymous wrote:How did you find out? Have you asked your brother what’s going on? Do both boys know?

I will talk with him very soon if he’s stable. I hope I’m not lied to one way or the other.

Oldest redid his family’s estate given a new state law and asked if a bunch of relatives are Ok and all set with last survivor stuff. My spouse blurted out three of them including this one and tried to play it off like no big deal.

I think we’re all shocked, but I said we need to confirm.

Now I feel I need to confirm all childless people on both sides. This is weird.

So your brother wants to give everything to one of your two sons?

So what? I mean, if your son who's getting everything is an honorable man, he will split whatever he gets with his brother. Your brother will never know.

So you have 2 kids and now only 1 is getting the inheritance?
Do they know that? Ask.
If not a scheme on their part they can always split it with sibling. If it is a scheme, well siblings may have issues.

Anonymous wrote:And is his partner not getting anything?

Correct, she’s not and has a Db plan plus big PA. She told me during current health scare and their current relocation to her side of the states
They’ve been together since the kids were 10 or so, have no children, but my brother had some very expensive clinic stays so they wanted to protect assets the last ten years.

It was very stressful for both of them, both were being mean to each other. Hence they updated their own wills at the hospitalization scare a few years ago. Plus we’re all 75 and my kids are 45.

I did not notice nor hear of any backchanneling by either kids other than maybe a couple more stop bys by the “chosen set.” Still bizarre turn of events.

And is his partner not getting anything?

How did you find out? Have you asked your brother what’s going on? Do both boys know?

What recourse does one have if during a former hospitalization stint, a sickly relative redid their will to go 100% to one nephew as sole beneficiary and executor and not split amongst the two nephews?

The uncle is my brother. His only relatives are me and my two sons, who had a normal long distance relationship with him. They left for college miles away in opposite directions, are married with kids and visit annually. We have the normal holiday memories, milestones together, stayed in touch as they aged. My husband and I don't need the money which I assume is sizeable after working and investing 40 years, but I assumed it would be donated and/or split pro rata with descendants. Nothing controversial, everyone gets along.

Now my husband and I are shocked and disappointed. We would have never anticipated this potential favoritism or rift in the family. To date, I've been the one updating our families on my brother's life and health plus his partner is still his caretaker. Now I don't know what my brother or my youngest and his wife were thinking or doing. I don't even know how to handle the Thanksgiving trip next month.