No one cares. I really mean that: No.One.Cares. Meaning that if your idea of small talk is telling me about your sorority and your debutant balls and teas, I really don’t care. You don’t need to hide it. Many of also also belong to sororities and even made debuts. For the most part, we don’t bring that kind of personal stuff to work with us though. I won’t be scouring your social media. Just be a decent, competent coworker — that’s all I care about.

Also, you should know that DC — not “Washington” — used to be very much a Southern city. See the famous quote by JFK. So if you’re talking to DC natives about your “Southern” identity, wondering why some of us might seem “judgmental” to you, it might be because you’ve said something that makes one of us think that you’re repping for the KKK or the Daughters of the Confederacy — as opposed to, say, being upset that it’s hard to find White Lily flour at local grocery stores.

Examples would be nice, if you’d care to share a few, just so we all have a clearer idea of what exactly it is that you think might be prompting judgmental responses from your coworkers.

OP:
You say you don’t like Trump…..but did you vote for him in any of the 3 Elections he ran in?

I hate Southerners and Texans in theory but the ones I actually know tend to be great - nice and funny and a good hang.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I moved here about 5 years ago and low key feel like my coworkers tolerate me but judge the fact that I’m from the south. I’ve only worked in corporate jobs, and never talk about politics, but identify as right of center but I don’t really like Trump and don’t feel comfortable talking about politics. I feel like I have to hide the fact that I’m a southern sorority girl that did a debutante ball, goes to church and country clubs ect even though they people I work with grew up upper middle class too. I’ve also scrubbed my social media of all the fraternity formal date pics and things like that after some snarky comments.

I’d just love to understand why people are so judgemental. My experience has always been that people in my life and hometown are kind and polite, so would love some honest feedback about what people think here about southern women and how I can appear more approachable while staying true to myself.

I am not DC native, transplant from Europe. I LOVE people from south. They, primarily, are very well educated, well read, kind, less mental issues compared to people from North East, less arrogant. Please, stay true to who you are. It is such a pleasant contrast to meet people like you.

Thank you!

OP, why are you posting this in politics?

Depends on the woman. Just being from the south is not enough information to form a judgment.

Winston Churchill: “The most beautiful voice in the world is that of an educated southern woman.” So true!

Some folks in DC are intellectual snobs who look down on any state that is not on either coast and on all religion. I’m a liberal church goer who grew up in “fly-over” country. I do sometime take offense at generalizations that come out of folks mouths. Honestly, I think you need to be yourself, and understand that the intellectual elite often lack perspective and real world experience with ppl different from themselves. But that’s not everyone by a long shot! There is an us vs them mentality that some liberals adopt that leads them to put all conservatives or southerners in a box that assumes there is no variation in their point of view. And the Elitism is insane (“they’re voting against their own interests” without any sense that maybe a white lady in Bethesda doesn’t know what the interests of a Latino man in Texas are)

Have you found a church community here? My one piece of advice would be to try to be more direct then southerners often are. Folks here lack patience for the indirect signals and pleasantries and want you to say what you mean and get to the point. You might also want to practice a couple of one-liners that calls ppl out for any sort of anti-south bias.

Anonymous wrote:I moved here about 5 years ago and low key feel like my coworkers tolerate me but judge the fact that I’m from the south. I’ve only worked in corporate jobs, and never talk about politics, but identify as right of center but I don’t really like Trump and don’t feel comfortable talking about politics. I feel like I have to hide the fact that I’m a southern sorority girl that did a debutante ball, goes to church and country clubs ect even though they people I work with grew up upper middle class too. I’ve also scrubbed my social media of all the fraternity formal date pics and things like that after some snarky comments.

I’d just love to understand why people are so judgemental. My experience has always been that people in my life and hometown are kind and polite, so would love some honest feedback about what people think here about southern women and how I can appear more approachable while staying true to myself.

I am not DC native, transplant from Europe. I LOVE people from south. They, primarily, are very well educated, well read, kind, less mental issues compared to people from North East, less arrogant. Please, stay true to who you are. It is such a pleasant contrast to meet people like you.

Southern former sorority girl here. I still go to church, but I lean left and have done a lot since leaving college (work accomplishments, graduate degree, etc.). I don’t hide my background but it really only comes up in deeper ‘tell me more about your background’ situations which are relatively rare. I don’t feel I am penalized socially or professionally. I can’t imagine sorority life/ debutante balls coming up in normal conversations.

It’s DC. Nobody is nice to anyone.

DC is very southern - you aren't in boston. There are tons of southern belle types here, just find your crowd.

Let’s start with the basics - your hometown probably wasn’t all that polite to non-Christians, immigrants, brown people, or liberals. Or they were polite, but it never went beyond the surface. There’s a reason I keep running into people from small towns - they got forced out.

Moving on, you are in DC. People move here because they are serious about their careers. Country club, debutante balls, sororities - it all screams “not serious”. Right leaning plus the above screams “privileged” and “Just biding time until I can stay at home which is my true calling.”

I’m sure people aren’t being mean, but it is a cold city in general, and they probably think you are judging them with their imperfect hair, imperfect clothes, or general disdain for surface matters. Plus it is left leaning and we at least try to pretend about people less fortunate than us.

Anonymous wrote:I moved here about 5 years ago and low key feel like my coworkers tolerate me but judge the fact that I’m from the south. I’ve only worked in corporate jobs, and never talk about politics, but identify as right of center but I don’t really like Trump and don’t feel comfortable talking about politics. I feel like I have to hide the fact that I’m a southern sorority girl that did a debutante ball, goes to church and country clubs ect even though they people I work with grew up upper middle class too. I’ve also scrubbed my social media of all the fraternity formal date pics and things like that after some snarky comments.

I’d just love to understand why people are so judgemental. My experience has always been that people in my life and hometown are kind and polite, so would love some honest feedback about what people think here about southern women and how I can appear more approachable while staying true to myself.

Your experience is not the norm in DC, but that is not a you problem.

I moved here about 5 years ago and low key feel like my coworkers tolerate me but judge the fact that I’m from the south. I’ve only worked in corporate jobs, and never talk about politics, but identify as right of center but I don’t really like Trump and don’t feel comfortable talking about politics. I feel like I have to hide the fact that I’m a southern sorority girl that did a debutante ball, goes to church and country clubs ect even though they people I work with grew up upper middle class too. I’ve also scrubbed my social media of all the fraternity formal date pics and things like that after some snarky comments.

I’d just love to understand why people are so judgemental. My experience has always been that people in my life and hometown are kind and polite, so would love some honest feedback about what people think here about southern women and how I can appear more approachable while staying true to myself.