This is a weird question. It’s very normal in middle and upper middle class families to help with college. If my parents could not have afforded it, there would have been a discussion and I’d have figured something else out (likely with their help). They expect nothing in return for paying, just like I will expect nothing in return when I pay for my children’s college.

Anonymous wrote:… did you take care of them (could be by repaying them) or did you take the money and run? If the latter, did you feel entitled to the money they spent on your post HS education and/or house?

We aren't there yet but they have money to cover whatever they need as they age. Of course we will be around too.

Anonymous wrote:… did you take care of them (could be by repaying them) or did you take the money and run? If the latter, did you feel entitled to the money they spent on your post HS education and/or house?

Entitled is a strong word AND you are not giving any context about the relationship or the financial situation of your parents at the time.

I am currently paying for my kids’ college tuition and will likely help significantly with down payments on their homes when the time comes. I might even pay for grad school. I am not expecting anything in return.

My parents couldn't afford to pay for my college. I took loans. I am better off financially than they are now. But they are fine, and we each support our own families. It wasnt a big deal to me, I didn't realize at the time that parents were "supposed to" pay for their kids education, i thought it was my responsibility. I never felt cheated. It had no impact on our relationship. They were good parents, they just didnt have much money and I knew that.

Anonymous wrote:… did you take care of them (could be by repaying them) or did you take the money and run? If the latter, did you feel entitled to the money they spent on your post HS education and/or house?

Strange phrasing. My parents paid for all their kids’ college educations because they could comfortably afford to do so. There was no expectation of paying them back so I guess I “took the money and ran”? They are still significantly wealthier than my spouse and I, but we do very well. We’ve never asked for any money and they haven’t offered and it’s a non-issue. I don’t know what the equation is with my siblings, but I don’t care.

Anonymous wrote:Did I take the money and run?? What?!

Money rolls downhill. My grandparents paid for my parents' college education and then my parents paid for mine. I fully intend to pay for my 3 kids' colleges. They never expected anything of me, but I did say thank you. I think all any parent wants is for their kids to grow up and live a productive life. I'm not sure I felt entitled to it at the time, but currently I feel like you shouldn't bring children into the world unless you can support them.

I'm very close to my parents. I doubt they'll ever need money, but I would care for them if something arose. I don't think they could live with me though.

This. My parents have never offered to pay for my kids' education, because they paid for mine in order to allow me to be independent and provide for my own life choices.

Anonymous wrote:This is not about repaying parents financially. I’m interested in whether people felt entitled to the money like you expected it. If your parents did not pay, would you have made the same like choices? Would your relationship with your parents be different?

-OP

Yes, I expected it. They sent me and my brother to a private high school and always prioritzed education over vacations.

Did I take the money and run?? What?!

Money rolls downhill. My grandparents paid for my parents' college education and then my parents paid for mine. I fully intend to pay for my 3 kids' colleges. They never expected anything of me, but I did say thank you. I think all any parent wants is for their kids to grow up and live a productive life. I'm not sure I felt entitled to it at the time, but currently I feel like you shouldn't bring children into the world unless you can support them.

I'm very close to my parents. I doubt they'll ever need money, but I would care for them if something arose. I don't think they could live with me though.

Anonymous wrote:This is not about repaying parents financially. I’m interested in whether people felt entitled to the money like you expected it. If your parents did not pay, would you have made the same like choices? Would your relationship with your parents be different?

-OP

So you want to know about every potential circumstance from every family and individual? Like a multiverse situation? What are you actually asking?

This is not about repaying parents financially. I’m interested in whether people felt entitled to the money like you expected it. If your parents did not pay, would you have made the same like choices? Would your relationship with your parents be different?

-OP

No, I never repaid them for my college education because it was their gift to me. Although they could have paid for all of my graduate degree, they asked me to take out a loan for part of it, which I did.

I've always taken my cues from them regarding they could afford, what they wanted to pay for, and what I was expected to cover on my own. I'm eternally grateful to have had generous parents who instilled in me a good work ethic and a desire to pay it forward to my own kids.

Anonymous wrote:… did you take care of them (could be by repaying them) or did you take the money and run? If the latter, did you feel entitled to the money they spent on your post HS education and/or house?

I'll take care of them with my time and support when the time comes, but they don't need any money from me, and they're still healthy and seem to be living their best life right now. I am paying it forward by maxing out my kids' 529 plans.

I visit pretty often, help with modern-life stuff, remind my kids to text their grandparents periodically, etc. They did everything to set me up for success, and even though they're all trumpy now, I will continue to perform filial duties in part in recognition of their generosity. It's sometimes tempting to cut them off for their wretched politics, but I'm sure they would have liked to cut me off at certain points. Family powers through for each other.

My parents will die with money unspent. They do not need and would not accept any money from me.

… did you take care of them (could be by repaying them) or did you take the money and run? If the latter, did you feel entitled to the money they spent on your post HS education and/or house?