Anonymous wrote:With all the sexual assault allegations made by women these days, even touching during dancing could count as "assault", like freaking Happy Days Fonzi dancing even, really square stuff. Not even talking Lambada dancing.

It’s not just dances or prom-posals. Boys don’t ask girls on dates in general any more. They don’t ask them to the movies, or to the local Mexican restaurant or even to meet up at Starbucks. They don’t flirt or even act interested in girls. It’s weird. They can’t all be gay.

Yes, of course there are boys that do ask girls out, but hardly any.

My teen isn't interested. She's not a drinker so the parties don't appeal to her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boys don’t.

Most girls still care, and they are really bummed that boys aren’t interested in dating girls any more.

I say this as a women and a teacher who’s observed the stupid promposals for years. Make it stop. There’s so much pressure it’s just not worth it. Many boys don’t want to go through the hassle of all that. I wouldn’t if I were a boy and I think it comes off as high maintenance and I’m a woman.

My son didn’t go to any of it but just because he didn’t like dances. My daughter goes with friends and is into the hair, make up and photos.

She was telling me how plenty go with dates and it’s all prearranged and the posters are nice. She thinks I’m overreacting, thinking it’s putting pressure on these boys. According to her, it’s nice they are putting in effort to show the girl they are worth it.

Come on! That’s too much pressure for a teen boy.

+1 that’s spot on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My older son isn't interested. From what I have observed the kids who are doing the prom-posal stuff are pretty traditionally "cute," sporty, affluent, and come from families that value things like football/having large elaborate parties/do thing like cotillion/go to the same beach house every summer type of stuff. Many are pretty conservative but definitely traditional in terms of stuff like mom doesn't work and they embrace very stereotypical gender roles and appearances. My kids are sporty and cute and fairly affluent but just don't fit the social mold. I'd say there is less interest than in my day at least.

That's a pretty huge generalization. My DD and her friends are into homecoming, including the signs, etc., and there is not one family in that group that I would describe as you did above, mine included. Not everything has to be about values. Sometimes it's just fun.

I believe you. That's just MY limited observation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boys don’t.

Most girls still care, and they are really bummed that boys aren’t interested in dating girls any more.

I say this as a women and a teacher who’s observed the stupid promposals for years. Make it stop. There’s so much pressure it’s just not worth it. Many boys don’t want to go through the hassle of all that. I wouldn’t if I were a boy and I think it comes off as high maintenance and I’m a woman.

My son didn’t go to any of it but just because he didn’t like dances. My daughter goes with friends and is into the hair, make up and photos.

She was telling me how plenty go with dates and it’s all prearranged and the posters are nice. She thinks I’m overreacting, thinking it’s putting pressure on these boys. According to her, it’s nice they are putting in effort to show the girl they are worth it.

Come on! That’s too much pressure for a teen boy.

+1
My teens hate this and would happily have asked friends last year and this year but hate the pressure of doing a sign in front of everyone. Their group of friends feels the same so for the second year in a row are just going in a group of boys. This is at a private k-12

Anonymous wrote:My older son isn't interested. From what I have observed the kids who are doing the prom-posal stuff are pretty traditionally "cute," sporty, affluent, and come from families that value things like football/having large elaborate parties/do thing like cotillion/go to the same beach house every summer type of stuff. Many are pretty conservative but definitely traditional in terms of stuff like mom doesn't work and they embrace very stereotypical gender roles and appearances. My kids are sporty and cute and fairly affluent but just don't fit the social mold. I'd say there is less interest than in my day at least.

That's a pretty huge generalization. My DD and her friends are into homecoming, including the signs, etc., and there is not one family in that group that I would describe as you did above, mine included. Not everything has to be about values. Sometimes it's just fun.

We live in Bethesda and my kids went/still go to a large public school. I really think it depends on the kids' personality and who they associate with.

Neither my nerdy daughter nor my nerdy son were ever interested in school parties. Their friends didn't/don't go either. They like to invite each other to their homes in small groups, watch movies, talk, but don't necessarily like to go to large parties. Some like DnD, and dressing up in costumes, and go to Renn Faire, etc.

But my friend's daughter who just graduated has always been very into parties, alcohol and general loud socializing, and she's not only gone to school events, but sneaked out of the house to go to nightclubs around UMD, got a fake ID, bought alcohol, etc. And her friends have all done the same.

So... there's a wide range of normal. I'd like to note for the PP who mentioned hook-up culture that today's teens are much less sexually active than the previous generation of teens.

With all the sexual assault allegations made by women these days, even touching during dancing could count as "assault", like freaking Happy Days Fonzi dancing even, really square stuff. Not even talking Lambada dancing.

Dancing is more for girls. Boys and men generally don't dance. They used to go to them just because the girls wanted to go, hoping for some action after the dance.

Now, with hookup culture, boys don't have to endure a boring dance to get some action.

Anonymous wrote:Boys don’t.

Most girls still care, and they are really bummed that boys aren’t interested in dating girls any more.

Why date when the girls give them everyone online. And if the girl's don't, there is plenty of porn.

and people wonder why woman are staying single and there is a male loneliness epidemic


I don't believe in signs, flowers, etc... but it's not just that. Social media has changed socialization and dating forever

The boys I know that did the stupid promposals (or the HoCo equivalent), it was their idea. Most of them had the women/girls in their life do it, so it's not like it was a lot of effort.

My older son isn't interested. From what I have observed the kids who are doing the prom-posal stuff are pretty traditionally "cute," sporty, affluent, and come from families that value things like football/having large elaborate parties/do thing like cotillion/go to the same beach house every summer type of stuff. Many are pretty conservative but definitely traditional in terms of stuff like mom doesn't work and they embrace very stereotypical gender roles and appearances. My kids are sporty and cute and fairly affluent but just don't fit the social mold. I'd say there is less interest than in my day at least.

Anonymous wrote:Boys don’t.

Most girls still care, and they are really bummed that boys aren’t interested in dating girls any more.

I say this as a women and a teacher who’s observed the stupid promposals for years. Make it stop. There’s so much pressure it’s just not worth it. Many boys don’t want to go through the hassle of all that. I wouldn’t if I were a boy and I think it comes off as high maintenance and I’m a woman.

My son didn’t go to any of it but just because he didn’t like dances. My daughter goes with friends and is into the hair, make up and photos.

She was telling me how plenty go with dates and it’s all prearranged and the posters are nice. She thinks I’m overreacting, thinking it’s putting pressure on these boys. According to her, it’s nice they are putting in effort to show the girl they are worth it.

Come on! That’s too much pressure for a teen boy.

Boys don’t.

Most girls still care, and they are really bummed that boys aren’t interested in dating girls any more.

Just out of curiosity, but does it seem as if homecoming, prom, and other school dances are much less significant to teens now?

I came from a small-town school where these events were a big deal, and everyone went, even though they were totally overrated.

My sons are in a vastly different world, attending a district with over 1,000 kids in each class. Their friends don’t seem very interested in going to many, if any, of the dances. They are involved in sports and other extracurricular activities with friends, so it’s not necessarily a social issue. they seem ambivalent to it all.