Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"You're not invited because you're mean. Maybe if you were nicer more people would want to invite you to things."

This is terrible advice in the real world. Op, don’t listen to this poster.

Expect this to backfire.

Anonymous wrote:“I couldn’t invite everyone-there’s not enough room!”

I would avoid getting in to the reasons-it won’t help and the kid will just get more upset and badmouth more.

(One thing to consider, though-you mention inviting 25% of the class but if it’s also 75% of the girls or 90% of the lunch table your daughter really should be extra careful to be kind (because those smaller breakdowns are what really matter vs % of the class.)

This. Homeroom, lunch table, team X, after school club.

O would just use the bully’s words. “Well you just said it was stupid and were badmouthing the party, so clearly you don’t want to attend.”

Anonymous wrote:"You're not invited because you're mean. Maybe if you were nicer more people would want to invite you to things."

This is terrible advice in the real world. Op, don’t listen to this poster.

Hopefully you haven’t gotten wearable swag as favors-I’ve seen that cause bitterness and drama through high school graduation when the kids wear it to school on Monday.

"You're not invited because you're mean. Maybe if you were nicer more people would want to invite you to things."

I tell my kids to blame things on me. “My
Mom made the invite list”

“You’re not invited because you’re a dick bro.”

Anonymous wrote:What’s wrong with “you’re not invited because (insert list of grievances here) and I didn’t want your bullying ass causing drama at my bar mitzvah! Maybe if you stop being an ass, you can come to my 16th birthday in a few years.”

Ooh I like this

Anonymous wrote:No come back, don't engage and just ignore. Tell your child to say I'm sorry, I did not make the invite list, my parents did and they wanted to keep the party small.

Huh? A middle school kid didn’t invite their own friends? No don’t say this.

Tell the truth.

We’re not friends so you’re not invited.

No come back, don't engage and just ignore. Tell your child to say I'm sorry, I did not make the invite list, my parents did and they wanted to keep the party small.

Anonymous wrote:“I couldn’t invite everyone-there’s not enough room!”

I would avoid getting in to the reasons-it won’t help and the kid will just get more upset and badmouth more.

(One thing to consider, though-you mention inviting 25% of the class but if it’s also 75% of the girls or 90% of the lunch table your daughter really should be extra careful to be kind (because those smaller breakdowns are what really matter vs % of the class.)

+1

“I couldn’t invite everyone-there’s not enough room!”

I would avoid getting in to the reasons-it won’t help and the kid will just get more upset and badmouth more.

(One thing to consider, though-you mention inviting 25% of the class but if it’s also 75% of the girls or 90% of the lunch table your daughter really should be extra careful to be kind (because those smaller breakdowns are what really matter vs % of the class.)

What’s wrong with “you’re not invited because (insert list of grievances here) and I didn’t want your bullying ass causing drama at my bar mitzvah! Maybe if you stop being an ass, you can come to my 16th birthday in a few years.”

Middle school kid is having a bar mitzvah and a party afterwards . They invited about 25% of the grade. A kid that has not been nice found out and is making a big deal of it. Saying they should get an invite and then calling the party stupid and now badmouthing.

We instructed not to talk about it in school but things tend to get out in the small-mid size school. This kids has been mean (close to relational bullying ) so I feel bad but did not want to force them to be invited. This kids has been has done nothing with ours outside of school for a very long time but they do have some common friends.

What are some good comebacks to diffuse the situation? Walking away is not an option. It is happening at lunch and between classes. Kid has long been blocked from electronic communications.