OP won't say whether she herself has kids. Odd.

No, no interest in seeing friends kids. Was fine doing it when they were little, because we had a little one and it was always better than nothing.

But once they were elementary age, no desire. I think it is bizarre when we have friends with middle school kids who show up with their kids when we invite them for dinner, or to the beach or whatever.

If my kid is with me sure. Alone, no.
Sometimes i will host a few friends at my house for coffee when mine is at school, or in the evening when mine is in bed. I’ll
Advertise it as “ come over for a kid free ladies night” or similar sounding to that.
In your example your friend isn’t prioritizing time with you. She’s choosing other options. So I would say “ hey I’m gonna be free on Tuesday and Wednesday between 10-2 if you wanna meet for coffee or lunch”
Then she can either say yes or decline.

I’d rather them come than someone get a babysitter. I don’t mind at all.

I prefer catching up with old friends withOUT the kids. However, I enjoy meeting people’s kids or seeing how they’ve grown, like introducing old friends to my kids (often they have heard a lot about the friends- my kids are teens), and as a proud parent like showing my kids off a little.

Maybe say something like “yes I’d love to see the kids and how they have grown! I could stop the house by to hang out for an hour or two and then we could grab dinner/drinks just the two of us?”

Or something like that?

Anonymous wrote:No, I don’t wanna hang out with my friends kids. I want friend time. I don’t bring my kids to hang out with my friends. My friends don’t bring their kids either.

+1. I want to catch up with a friend and you can't really do that when kids are there since the focus shifts to them.

Do you have kids, OP?

Anonymous wrote:Yes, especially if I have known them since they were small. It's so important that kids have adults who know them over a long time. And kids are inherently interesting to me.

This. The kids I held as babies? Absolutely. The kids i met two years ago? I’m less interested.

I’m with you, OP. I’d suggest I have other things in the evening and lunch is my only available window.

Yes, especially if I have known them since they were small. It's so important that kids have adults who know them over a long time. And kids are inherently interesting to me.

I’m a SAHM and she just doesn’t want to use her school time having lunch with you for some reason. Maybe she has plans.

When my kids were little, yes, I did. Come to think of it, I still want to see my friends' kids now that we all have teens and young adults.

Some of us just like kids, OP.

Just tell your friend you aren’t interested in her rugrats. Easy.

No, I don’t wanna hang out with my friends kids. I want friend time. I don’t bring my kids to hang out with my friends. My friends don’t bring their kids either.

Do you genuinely want to hang out with your friends' kids? As opposed to doing so so that your friend doesn't have to hire a babysitter?

I completely get why friends may need to bring kids along to meet up with me, or invite me over to their house where the kids will be because babysitters are expensive. I am totally up for doing that and I respond positively when my friends suggest it. I interact nicely with the kids, etc.

But ideally, I'd rather see my friends without their kids in tow.

Sometimes friends just really seem to want me to hang out with the kids. Like, they think I must really want to see the kids themselves.

Example: I am in City X this week. I reached out to a friend who is a SAHM to see if she wants to get together for lunch, when the kids are in school. She suggests instead we meet up after school "because the kids are in school this week and that way you will get to see the kids, too!"

I want to see my nieces and nephews and cousins' kids for sure. But they are family. Maybe I am a horrible person, but I don't really care that much about seeing my friends' kids.