Anonymous
09/19/2025 09:01
Subject: Adult ADHD diagnoses
Anonymous wrote:I called a lot of things bs until it happened to me too.
Feel fortunate, OP. Perhaps you won’t ever have to come to that sort of realization.
What happened to you? What is it that happens to these women who are leading objectively successful lives into their 30s, that suddenly they get these ADHD diagnoses and we're supposed to believe that actually they were struggling all along even as they managed to get through school, tough careers, and successful social lives? I truly don't get it.
I have a BIL who was diagnosed with ADHD in his 30s but when he was diagnosed it seemed obvious that he'd been struggling a long time. He didn't do great in school, had trouble making and keeping friends because some of his ADHD behaviors (which were deemed "quirks") were really off-putting, and he had a hard time holding down a job. He didn't get diagnosed earlier because he grew up when people really focused on the "hyperactivity" aspect of ADHD and didn't really understand the other ways it could present. But he had real impacts of his ADHD on his life and now he's doing much better on med.
I cannot square that with people who have been wildly successful in every aspect of their lives for decades but then claim to have ADHD. This theory about perimenopause triggering "latent" ADHD sounds like pseudoscience, I want to see some actual evidence that's a real thing.
Anonymous
09/19/2025 09:00
Subject: Adult ADHD diagnoses
Anonymous wrote:Ok, I'll take the other view.
I think it is BS. I'm sorry, but if you did well in school, did well socially, got through grad school, and got through the first 10 years of a career in a tough field like law or medicine, all without an ADHD diagnosis or any medication, you don't have ADHD.
I actually think what is happening here is that people who have always achieved and been successful hit their 30s or 40s and struggle with something. Anything. Maybe they have a job where they aren't the top worker. Or they just get burned out. Maybe they have a hard time with dating. Maybe it's infertility or postpartum depression. And as people who have always succeeded at everything they do, in part because they are smart and capable and also often in part because they've had a lot of support from family and good financial situations, they cast about looking for an external reason why they aren't nailing it. And ADHD is an extremely convenient scapegoat.
I also think the medical community collaborates in this by constantly suggesting ADHD as a possible cause to any mental health problem they can't fix. I know several woman for whom ADHD was suggested to them as a diagnosis by doctors and others who don't specialize in it (GPs, therapists) when these women came to them complaining of symptoms that could be a lot of things -- anxiety, trouble sleeping, difficulty in relationships, etc.
I think it's total BS. I think they are just struggling with what a lot of us struggle with. Juggling kids and work, midlife malaise, social anxiety that sometimes gets worse as you age, etc.
And yes, ADHD meds will help you focus even if you don't have ADHD. This is why there is a black market for ADHD meds on college campuses that spikes during exam periods or when papers are due and then goes away. But as with people who actually have ADHD, the benefits also decline over time.
Looking forward to getting yelled at here. Just want to say in advance that the reason my post made you so mad is that you are worried it's true.
Not mad here. I actually understand why people think it could all be bs. It does seem like diagnoses are increasing in women. But it's hard to understand unless you are actually in it. Be grateful you're not experiencing it, PP. If you were, you would be able to see it's not bs. It's really, truly, much worse than just struggling with the day-to-day and midlife issues.
Anonymous
09/19/2025 08:53
Subject: Adult ADHD diagnoses
I called a lot of things bs until it happened to me too.
Feel fortunate, OP. Perhaps you won’t ever have to come to that sort of realization.
Feel fortunate, OP. Perhaps you won’t ever have to come to that sort of realization.
Anonymous
09/19/2025 08:46
Subject: Adult ADHD diagnoses
Anonymous wrote:Because most girls are undiagnosed, do we go through life coping and struggling until they finally get a diagnosis. It’s a relief to know that there we weren’t crazy— there was a problem
all along and here are the ways to fix it.
OP is talking specifically about high achievers though. If there was "a problem all along" why didn't it result in, for instance, bad grades? Or difficulty making friends? How does someone with ADHD get into a competitive college, get a Masters degree, gain admission to a top ranked law school, clerk with a federal judge, and then work at a highly competitive Big Law firm, all while sustaining strong, longterm friendships and having an active social life and hobbies? It makes no sense. Yes, masking is a thing. But if you can mask that well.... I don't think you have ADHD, sorry. Usually people with ADHD have actual problems and difficulties with school or social settings.
Anonymous
09/19/2025 08:41
Subject: Adult ADHD diagnoses
Ok, I'll take the other view.
I think it is BS. I'm sorry, but if you did well in school, did well socially, got through grad school, and got through the first 10 years of a career in a tough field like law or medicine, all without an ADHD diagnosis or any medication, you don't have ADHD.
I actually think what is happening here is that people who have always achieved and been successful hit their 30s or 40s and struggle with something. Anything. Maybe they have a job where they aren't the top worker. Or they just get burned out. Maybe they have a hard time with dating. Maybe it's infertility or postpartum depression. And as people who have always succeeded at everything they do, in part because they are smart and capable and also often in part because they've had a lot of support from family and good financial situations, they cast about looking for an external reason why they aren't nailing it. And ADHD is an extremely convenient scapegoat.
I also think the medical community collaborates in this by constantly suggesting ADHD as a possible cause to any mental health problem they can't fix. I know several woman for whom ADHD was suggested to them as a diagnosis by doctors and others who don't specialize in it (GPs, therapists) when these women came to them complaining of symptoms that could be a lot of things -- anxiety, trouble sleeping, difficulty in relationships, etc.
I think it's total BS. I think they are just struggling with what a lot of us struggle with. Juggling kids and work, midlife malaise, social anxiety that sometimes gets worse as you age, etc.
And yes, ADHD meds will help you focus even if you don't have ADHD. This is why there is a black market for ADHD meds on college campuses that spikes during exam periods or when papers are due and then goes away. But as with people who actually have ADHD, the benefits also decline over time.
Looking forward to getting yelled at here. Just want to say in advance that the reason my post made you so mad is that you are worried it's true.
I think it is BS. I'm sorry, but if you did well in school, did well socially, got through grad school, and got through the first 10 years of a career in a tough field like law or medicine, all without an ADHD diagnosis or any medication, you don't have ADHD.
I actually think what is happening here is that people who have always achieved and been successful hit their 30s or 40s and struggle with something. Anything. Maybe they have a job where they aren't the top worker. Or they just get burned out. Maybe they have a hard time with dating. Maybe it's infertility or postpartum depression. And as people who have always succeeded at everything they do, in part because they are smart and capable and also often in part because they've had a lot of support from family and good financial situations, they cast about looking for an external reason why they aren't nailing it. And ADHD is an extremely convenient scapegoat.
I also think the medical community collaborates in this by constantly suggesting ADHD as a possible cause to any mental health problem they can't fix. I know several woman for whom ADHD was suggested to them as a diagnosis by doctors and others who don't specialize in it (GPs, therapists) when these women came to them complaining of symptoms that could be a lot of things -- anxiety, trouble sleeping, difficulty in relationships, etc.
I think it's total BS. I think they are just struggling with what a lot of us struggle with. Juggling kids and work, midlife malaise, social anxiety that sometimes gets worse as you age, etc.
And yes, ADHD meds will help you focus even if you don't have ADHD. This is why there is a black market for ADHD meds on college campuses that spikes during exam periods or when papers are due and then goes away. But as with people who actually have ADHD, the benefits also decline over time.
Looking forward to getting yelled at here. Just want to say in advance that the reason my post made you so mad is that you are worried it's true.
Anonymous
09/19/2025 08:28
Subject: Adult ADHD diagnoses
Anonymous wrote:Because most girls are undiagnosed, do we go through life coping and struggling until they finally get a diagnosis. It’s a relief to know that there we weren’t crazy— there was a problem
all along and here are the ways to fix it.
Absolutely, this.
Anonymous
09/19/2025 07:47
Subject: Adult ADHD diagnoses
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:If you take ADHD medicine and you don’t have ADHD, it doesn’t really do much for you. That’s how you know it’s not over diagnosed.
What about those college kids taking Ritalin? Seems like some of these drugs do help everyone, to some extent.
Taking speed when you don’t need it can make you do worse, not better. That doesn’t stop college kids from taking it anyway though, because college kids aren’t exactly known for making the best decisions always.
Anonymous
09/19/2025 07:41
Subject: Adult ADHD diagnoses
Anonymous wrote:If you take ADHD medicine and you don’t have ADHD, it doesn’t really do much for you. That’s how you know it’s not over diagnosed.
What about those college kids taking Ritalin? Seems like some of these drugs do help everyone, to some extent.
Anonymous
09/19/2025 07:25
Subject: Adult ADHD diagnoses
For me, working full time, with two young kids, I just felt like I was completely falling a part. I just couldn’t seem to manage all parts of my life and this was with a very involved husband. It seemed like others around me that were also working full time with two kids, were stressed and busy, but not completely falling a part like I was. Like I was able to hyper focus on work, but then I wasn’t able to manage anything with the kids, school, house. Also starting projects but never finishing them, never knowing/remembering where in the house I left my keys, phone, purse. Finally went to a psychiatrist, was diagnosed and I take Adderall daily and while it’s not perfect I am able to function a lot better.
Anonymous
09/19/2025 07:09
Subject: Adult ADHD diagnoses
Anonymous wrote:If you take ADHD medicine and you don’t have ADHD, it doesn’t really do much for you. That’s how you know it’s not over diagnosed.
+1. It’s like putting glasses on someone with 20/20 vision.
Anonymous
09/19/2025 07:00
Subject: Adult ADHD diagnoses
If you take ADHD medicine and you don’t have ADHD, it doesn’t really do much for you. That’s how you know it’s not over diagnosed.
Anonymous
09/19/2025 06:59
Subject: Adult ADHD diagnoses
Because most girls are undiagnosed, do we go through life coping and struggling until they finally get a diagnosis. It’s a relief to know that there we weren’t crazy— there was a problem
all along and here are the ways to fix it.
all along and here are the ways to fix it.
Anonymous
09/19/2025 06:58
Subject: Adult ADHD diagnoses
Adding the diagnosis helps you understand yourself better, puts things in context, and if needed access to proper medication and therapy for habit shifting.
Anonymous
09/19/2025 06:56
Subject: Adult ADHD diagnoses
Perimenopause ignites any latent adhd symptoms. Symptoms you could manage prior become overwhelming with hormone shifts. It’s more than being busy or high achieving. For me it threw me into a functional freeze until I got help. Everyone is different though
Anonymous
09/19/2025 06:51
Subject: Adult ADHD diagnoses
Why is it so common for high-achieving adult women (often also mothers) to get diagnosed with ADHD as adults? These are people who are lawyers, doctors etc. They seem so proud of this diagnosis and sometimes it seems like it manifests in ways that would be typical of just being a busy person balancing work and life. Interested to understand why someone would seek out an assessment that leads to this diagnosis and what value it has. Are people being over-diagnosed or wrongly diagnosed?