Anonymous wrote:OP, when you're married - no. No woman as a best friend. As to when that change needs to happen, sometime between beginning to date and being married. No exact time but if it isn't happening naturally, you are not in the right marriage-mindset to commit. No one should want to marry you.

Agreed. Female friend is find best friend absolutely not. Some women have to learn this the hard way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are your friends ethical, honest and loyal? If so, never drop your close friends, OP. They will have your back forever. The romantic partner who becomes your wife has to accept them. One day she will be glad of them, when something happens and they come rallying in different ways.

I met my husband when I was very young, and I made most of my female and male friends after I met him. He made a few remarks at first about the guys, but he knows they are my friends, and that they are here to stay. When I suddenly became very ill, one of them went to the pharmacy to get me my heart medication. He looked after my son, who had puked in the car, and cleaned the vomit off the car seat. Only a true friend would do that! And in turn, when this friend had cancer, my husband and I took turns driving him to his chemo.

True friends are hard to come by. Don't give them up so easily.

This. Bros before hos. Always.

Always disregard the advice of someone who refers to men and women as bros and hos

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are your friends ethical, honest and loyal? If so, never drop your close friends, OP. They will have your back forever. The romantic partner who becomes your wife has to accept them. One day she will be glad of them, when something happens and they come rallying in different ways.

I met my husband when I was very young, and I made most of my female and male friends after I met him. He made a few remarks at first about the guys, but he knows they are my friends, and that they are here to stay. When I suddenly became very ill, one of them went to the pharmacy to get me my heart medication. He looked after my son, who had puked in the car, and cleaned the vomit off the car seat. Only a true friend would do that! And in turn, when this friend had cancer, my husband and I took turns driving him to his chemo.

True friends are hard to come by. Don't give them up so easily.

This. Bros before hos. Always.

Well... in this case, some of the hos ARE the bros.

Genderqueer it as needed.

Anonymous wrote:OP, when you're married - no. No woman as a best friend. As to when that change needs to happen, sometime between beginning to date and being married. No exact time but if it isn't happening naturally, you are not in the right marriage-mindset to commit. No one should want to marry you.

I'm a DW who disagrees with this. DH had his very close female friend stand up on his side in our wedding. I'm not very close to her at all, and they talk 1::1 without me regularly. I have no issues with this. I also have a couple close male friends.

A lot of it comes down to the individuals in a relationship though. Some people are more open to opposite sex friendships than others.

Anonymous wrote:OP, when you're married - no. No woman as a best friend. As to when that change needs to happen, sometime between beginning to date and being married. No exact time but if it isn't happening naturally, you are not in the right marriage-mindset to commit. No one should want to marry you.

Entirely wrong-headed response.

OP, when you're married - no. No woman as a best friend. As to when that change needs to happen, sometime between beginning to date and being married. No exact time but if it isn't happening naturally, you are not in the right marriage-mindset to commit. No one should want to marry you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are your friends ethical, honest and loyal? If so, never drop your close friends, OP. They will have your back forever. The romantic partner who becomes your wife has to accept them. One day she will be glad of them, when something happens and they come rallying in different ways.

I met my husband when I was very young, and I made most of my female and male friends after I met him. He made a few remarks at first about the guys, but he knows they are my friends, and that they are here to stay. When I suddenly became very ill, one of them went to the pharmacy to get me my heart medication. He looked after my son, who had puked in the car, and cleaned the vomit off the car seat. Only a true friend would do that! And in turn, when this friend had cancer, my husband and I took turns driving him to his chemo.

True friends are hard to come by. Don't give them up so easily.

This. Bros before hos. Always.

Well... in this case, some of the hos ARE the bros.

Anonymous wrote:I would drop the girlfriend. She has a LOT of baggage and it's not just about your friend.

Honestly? If she can't get with your friends, that's a dealbreaker on its own. The rest is... a lot. I have compassion for her; I've worked through a lot of my own "stuff" in my time. But sometimes, when you have that much "stuff", you need to be in a relationship with yourself for a bit before you bring someone else into it, especially if you're not going to let them be friends with half of humanity because you have insecurities.

Good that she can identify and name/claim her stuff, but that's not always adequate.

Anonymous wrote:Are your friends ethical, honest and loyal? If so, never drop your close friends, OP. They will have your back forever. The romantic partner who becomes your wife has to accept them. One day she will be glad of them, when something happens and they come rallying in different ways.

I met my husband when I was very young, and I made most of my female and male friends after I met him. He made a few remarks at first about the guys, but he knows they are my friends, and that they are here to stay. When I suddenly became very ill, one of them went to the pharmacy to get me my heart medication. He looked after my son, who had puked in the car, and cleaned the vomit off the car seat. Only a true friend would do that! And in turn, when this friend had cancer, my husband and I took turns driving him to his chemo.

True friends are hard to come by. Don't give them up so easily.

This. Bros before hos. Always.

While it may be unfair for a romantic partner to request that you eradicate a friendship - - I can also see things from her point of view.

In all honesty a compromise here is totally doable.
Talk to your Female friend ➕ let her know how your new girlfriend feels.
Then you can spend less time around her & she will not think you are blowing her off.

Wishing you all the best of luck here!

Are your friends ethical, honest and loyal? If so, never drop your close friends, OP. They will have your back forever. The romantic partner who becomes your wife has to accept them. One day she will be glad of them, when something happens and they come rallying in different ways.

I met my husband when I was very young, and I made most of my female and male friends after I met him. He made a few remarks at first about the guys, but he knows they are my friends, and that they are here to stay. When I suddenly became very ill, one of them went to the pharmacy to get me my heart medication. He looked after my son, who had puked in the car, and cleaned the vomit off the car seat. Only a true friend would do that! And in turn, when this friend had cancer, my husband and I took turns driving him to his chemo.

True friends are hard to come by. Don't give them up so easily.

I would drop the girlfriend. She has a LOT of baggage and it's not just about your friend.

You're right I'm not 35 I'm 25, a typo. But do you actually have some advice?

You’re not 35.

You write like you’re 16.

I am a man 35 I have a a group of friends male and female one of the ones I'm closer to is a woman. She could be considered a best friend also have a close male best friend to.
I am dating a woman for a few months now and she's told me that me having a female best friend makes her uncomfortable. She says her discomfort stems from her dad cheating on her mom as a child, and two relationships one where a man claimed to be single and she only found out about the wife when the wife called her. And another when the guy decided he wanted the best friend or they flirted with each other not entirely clear on that. She owns that these are her issues and she's working on them ( therapy) but she's not comfortable with it.
To be clear she hasn't issued any ultimatums and she's always been cordial to my friend.
I guess I'm struggling with what to do as a boyfriend?. I don't love the idea of dropping my friend as she was one of the people who helped me during a hard time in my life. I also really don't want to screw things up with my girlfriend and I want to make her feel secure.

I'm getting conflicting advice . I've heard drop the friend and drop the girlfriend and ask my girlfriend what I can do to help her.

So what should I do?