Why do you want to divorce? I thought all the women on this forum stay with their cheating low life husbands all the time.

Good for you and don't be one of them. Just divorce him and move on.

Have you seen his AP? Is she older/younger? Does she know about you? Don't give her a pass..she is a as sl**y as your low life hubby and no he didn't lie to her and yes she is asking him to leave you for her.

Good luck

Didn’t you see him with your own two eyes?
What more proof do you need?
No announcing or confronting regarding the obvious.

Divorce him!

OP, right now you have the upper hand because you are the one who is going to have to file. So, while it's normal to feel emotional, stop. Get all your ducks in a row, documentation of everything, and find a great attorney. Do all this before you confront your DH and work on getting the best settlement possible.

My ex was at his AP's house until midnight the night before I gave birth to our son. I got through it, and so can you.

Yes two friends who did this and it was fine. But they have moderate sized houses with 2 floors and a basement so it was easy to separate.

No one?

OP again: I wonder if anyone was able to maintain a cordial relation with the spouse while waiting for divorce to finalize. I have been told it does not make sense to leave the house if I want to keep it..

What state? In VA fault will be helpful - at a bare minimum, your separation period is only 6 months.

Yes, get photos and proof

If you plan to separate and divorce then get your stuff in order and just go ahead and file. In most cases adultery won’t matter in court.
If you’re planning to stick it out for your kids and stay then what good is it going to do to confront him when you say he’s just going to deny it? Keep in mind he could be the one to pull the plug while you’re unprepared.
Kids should only be told what is strictly necessary on an age-appropriate basis. No bad-mouthing your spouse no matter how great the temptation.

OP again: am I weird in that I still care? I thought I didn’t until I realized something adverse happened at his work..

Thanks though-this is very sane advise! I tend to get emotional and want to talk even though I know it won’t lead anywhere. Regarding telling everyone, I guess I won’t as it will affect my kids eventually-I will do my best to keep from them.

I struggle with this as I am hoping for an out of court mediation to protect the kids, and maintain a cordial relation

You've already posted about this. Why do you so badly need him to admit it? You need to work on that weird hang-up.

You should divorce, but you should do it right.

Divorce is about preserving economic stability, or salvaging as much of it as possible. Does he have a lot more money than you? Then it's going to be very important that you get as much financial information as possible about his accounts before he knows you're interested.

Which means do not tell him about your divorce plans before you are completely ready (ie, have copied all the info you need, and given it to your lawyer).

And then he gets served the divorce papers.

Once you're separated, you can tell everyone he cheated on you, if you want. People usually believe that.

Spouse has been refusing to accept that he has been cheating. I know as I saw his car in front of his APs apt in addition to several other signs. I have voice recordings which I don’t intend to use (wish I don’t have them and was ignorant). I want to confront him finally and what to plan an amicable divorce. We will need to live in the same house as we have one kid in the house. I am just dreading thinking how unpleasant it would be…he will never ever confess. Should I look into getting a PI to get a clearer evidence and make it easy? I don’t have any family around