Anonymous wrote:
Absolutely do not have friends or family as such.

They’re Users and probably think you and your husband are beneath them.

The wife has pretty much made comments as such, but I kept trying to rationalize it away. . . Then again many in our friend group have distanced themselves from her (and hence them as a couple), while continuing to invite us. It's a little frustrating that DH doesn't see it, but I have to remind myself that's a him problem.

Absolutely do not have friends or family as such.

They’re Users and probably think you and your husband are beneath them.

Anonymous wrote:No, I don’t know people like this. This is genuinely weird.

I'm glad to hear I'm not overreacting.

Anonymous wrote:No. Are they foreign?

no

No. Are they foreign?

No, I don’t know people like this. This is genuinely weird.

No, I don't even think I've met anyone like that. I would not be staying friends with these people and would suddenly have a lot of errands that take up time so I can't help them.

No, because those aren't friends. They're users. Guarantee once your DH starts saying no, they'll stop wanting to hang out with you.

Anonymous wrote:Our current "problem" is more that we have a couple of friends who always do super-nice stuff for us, and then "we" feel obligated to do something similar in return.

I would prefer that we both just take care of our own stuff, if that makes sense? Even if it involves paying for help. In the modern economy, we are lucky to have dog sitters, food delivery, Uber Teen, etc.

right. I don't understand why the husband doesn't call his mother an uber. (she has a daughter that has caught off ties from what I understand, she has a grandson in the area, has been in this area for her entire adult life, not clear why she can't get a ride from someone else). We don't even live near her.

Anonymous wrote:and they do nothing for you?

I have friends where they will help build our deck and we help hardwood their floor, etc

or I drive them to take their car to the shop and vis versa.

One time the wife offered to help me with something, so I accepted her offer. It took her more than a week to get back to me, at which point I had already taken care of what I needed to. Not a big deal, but let's just say they are strivers that do a lot of self-promoting on social media, etc. but when it comes down to it, no, I have never felt that I could contact them if I really need something.

And I don't feel this way about other friends in the same circle, (meaning I feel I could contact them if I needed something).

Another example over the years: they live in a 10,000 square foot house (two adults, two kids, an au pair), but the husband asked DH if his sister could live in our English basement for an unknown amount of time. . . (he offered to pay, but still). . . Thankfully DH said no, but it feels like these people are just take, take, take. I have learned over the years to keep my distance from them.

Our current "problem" is more that we have a couple of friends who always do super-nice stuff for us, and then "we" feel obligated to do something similar in return.

I would prefer that we both just take care of our own stuff, if that makes sense? Even if it involves paying for help. In the modern economy, we are lucky to have dog sitters, food delivery, Uber Teen, etc.

and they do nothing for you?

I have friends where they will help build our deck and we help hardwood their floor, etc

or I drive them to take their car to the shop and vis versa.

I do not have friends like this. I do plenty for friends and have offered and people have offered to help me. But noone has ever told me to do something for them. There is a very ordinal polite request for help with something.
These people are users and they will continue to do it. I bet if DH said he couldn't, they will drop the friendship. Turn it around and ask for something yourself.

Every interaction ends up resulting in a "to do" somehow?

Like, they buy a new $3M house, and the husband is asking DH to come over to change every light switch. . .Travelling with them, and the wife is asking me/DH to go pick up food for them because her and her husband are too tired . . .

In the latest instance, the husband asked DH to drive his mother to an event because he's out of town and his wife doesn't want to.

I know it's a DH problem with not being able to say no to these people. It's just annoying, and I've learned to just stay out of it and keep my distance when he does this.