Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH got a D on a math test. He's saying the review materials weren't helpful, that his dad shouldn't have taken him to a movie on Sunday night, that he didn't have time to study, on and on. To his credit he messaged the teacher about a retake for partial credit. It is rough because he has ADHD and dyslexia; some subjects are tough for him. But it's also hard to watch as a parent. I can't force him to study. He's now really upset with the grade and saying he's not intelligent.

Help?

How old is this kid, OP? (Why don't people make a point to state that!)

Different answer if he's 7 or 17.

+1

Anonymous wrote:DH got a D on a math test. He's saying the review materials weren't helpful, that his dad shouldn't have taken him to a movie on Sunday night, that he didn't have time to study, on and on. To his credit he messaged the teacher about a retake for partial credit. It is rough because he has ADHD and dyslexia; some subjects are tough for him. But it's also hard to watch as a parent. I can't force him to study. He's now really upset with the grade and saying he's not intelligent.

Help?

The DH should not take the ADHD/dyslexia kid to the movies on Sunday night before a school day.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH got a D on a math test. He's saying the review materials weren't helpful, that his dad shouldn't have taken him to a movie on Sunday night, that he didn't have time to study, on and on. To his credit he messaged the teacher about a retake for partial credit. It is rough because he has ADHD and dyslexia; some subjects are tough for him. But it's also hard to watch as a parent. I can't force him to study. He's now really upset with the grade and saying he's not intelligent.

Help?

How old is this kid, OP? (Why don't people make a point to state that!)

Different answer if he's 7 or 17.

Also wondering about the son’s age. OP left out the important part….

I have a kid with ADHD, ASD, anxiety and dyscalculia. Math has been rough for her. In middle school, she was placed in the lower track math classes. She didn’t take Algebra I until 9th grade. She’s worked with a math tutor all throughout high school. She met with her math teacher frequently during lunch, studied at home, took every possible retake, and still just barely eked out C’s in Algebra II last year.

She’s now a senior and is taking the slowest paced Stats class instead of calculus this year. With each year, she’s gotten better at asking for help, better at studying, and become more motivated. Still, math will always be a struggle for her.

I don’t know how old your ds is, but maturity makes a difference. When my dd was in middle school, her attitude was “I’m dumb. Why even try?” Now she’s thinking about college and beyond.

Focus on the lesson learned. Commend him for caring about his grades. Put this one bad grade in perspective (it's not the end of the world). Tell him that resilience is the best thing he can learn and taking responsibility for his own actions means he needs to own his failures and learn from them but it also means his successes are his too!

Anonymous wrote:DH got a D on a math test. He's saying the review materials weren't helpful, that his dad shouldn't have taken him to a movie on Sunday night, that he didn't have time to study, on and on. To his credit he messaged the teacher about a retake for partial credit. It is rough because he has ADHD and dyslexia; some subjects are tough for him. But it's also hard to watch as a parent. I can't force him to study. He's now really upset with the grade and saying he's not intelligent.

Help?

I am confused. How old is your husband and why is he still in school?

Anonymous wrote:DH got a D on a math test. He's saying the review materials weren't helpful, that his dad shouldn't have taken him to a movie on Sunday night, that he didn't have time to study, on and on. To his credit he messaged the teacher about a retake for partial credit. It is rough because he has ADHD and dyslexia; some subjects are tough for him. But it's also hard to watch as a parent. I can't force him to study. He's now really upset with the grade and saying he's not intelligent.

Help?

How old is this kid, OP? (Why don't people make a point to state that!)

Different answer if he's 7 or 17.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH got a D on a math test. He's saying the review materials weren't helpful, that his dad shouldn't have taken him to a movie on Sunday night, that he didn't have time to study, on and on. To his credit he messaged the teacher about a retake for partial credit. It is rough because he has ADHD and dyslexia; some subjects are tough for him. But it's also hard to watch as a parent. I can't force him to study. He's now really upset with the grade and saying he's not intelligent.

Help?

Sounds like you have put too much pressure on him academically.

Remind him that grades are insignificant in the grand scheme of things and don't matter. The important part is to grasp the basics.

Some people do well in a subject, but get testing anxiety and bomb it. Choking under pressure.

+1 that grasping the basics is more important than grades. But this is the DMV. The pressure may be coming from the kid's peers, not from the parents.

OP do you think the ADHD and dyslexia impacted his understanding of the math, or his ability to study and manage his time, or both?

Anonymous wrote:DH got a D on a math test. He's saying the review materials weren't helpful, that his dad shouldn't have taken him to a movie on Sunday night, that he didn't have time to study, on and on. To his credit he messaged the teacher about a retake for partial credit. It is rough because he has ADHD and dyslexia; some subjects are tough for him. But it's also hard to watch as a parent. I can't force him to study. He's now really upset with the grade and saying he's not intelligent.

Help?

Sounds like you have put too much pressure on him academically.

Remind him that grades are insignificant in the grand scheme of things and don't matter. The important part is to grasp the basics.

Some people do well in a subject, but get testing anxiety and bomb it. Choking under pressure.

Reward him for drilling on math. You could put together a study program using IXL.Com (cheap subscription that includes diagnostics) or Khan Academy. Reward module completion. Match what he is drilling to his classwork. Get tutoring if necessary.

Teach him to diagnose and categorize his mistakes. Math facts mistake, order of operation mistake, etc. If he and you can find patterns, it's easier to fix.

Executive function is probably really difficult for him. It's good that he's realizing, even in retrospect, that he didn't give himself enough time to study. Ask him what he wants to do differently next time. Ask him what help he wants planning for study time.

Get him a tutor, the best thing we did. There are reasonably priced tutors online, so we do it a few times a week.

Anonymous wrote:DH got a D on a math test. He's saying the review materials weren't helpful, that his dad shouldn't have taken him to a movie on Sunday night, that he didn't have time to study, on and on. To his credit he messaged the teacher about a retake for partial credit. It is rough because he has ADHD and dyslexia; some subjects are tough for him. But it's also hard to watch as a parent. I can't force him to study. He's now really upset with the grade and saying he's not intelligent.

Help?

Well, all of those things might be true. I do wonder why you DH took his son for a movie on a Sunday night, especially of that was the night before the test.

Teachers’ review materials often aren’t helpful or well-tied to the test.

He still has to put in the time and figure out how to study.

What grade is your son?

If it’s not high school, it’s a good time for him to fail and figure out what he needs to do well on tests.

With the ADHD, you may need to get him an executive functioning coach to help him figure that out.

What you can do as a parent is stress that a D is not the end of the world and focus him on what he can do differently next time instead of dwelling on what happened.

My oldest had dyscalculia (a specific math disability), ADHD and low processing speed. I was his tutor in elementary. He needed all his math facts retaught after school. In middle school and early high school, his father took over. And after that we hired tutors. He took Adderall for his ADHD all his high school years.

If your kid is immature and not making the most of his study time, perhaps he needs executive function help on top of math tutoring. I assume he takes ADHD meds that work in the afternoon?

DH got a D on a math test. He's saying the review materials weren't helpful, that his dad shouldn't have taken him to a movie on Sunday night, that he didn't have time to study, on and on. To his credit he messaged the teacher about a retake for partial credit. It is rough because he has ADHD and dyslexia; some subjects are tough for him. But it's also hard to watch as a parent. I can't force him to study. He's now really upset with the grade and saying he's not intelligent.

Help?