Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Her body needs to be moved to a funeral home. A good funeral home can help with many of the details.
Depending on the state, the funeral home may help you with the death certificate. That needs to happen in most states before cremation.
Pick a time and place for cremation with the funeral home. Does the cremation need to be announced?
Do you want to see your mom before cremation? Would you like to bring her clothes to wear?
Obituary (many people use legacy which is on line, again funeral home might be able to help).

The funeral home will pick up her body. I don’t need to see her body. She was dressed when she died. I think she can just wear those clothes? I could call and ask the person who found her what she was wearing but I am not sure it matters.

Did she still wear good jewelry? Do you want it to go with her?

My grandfather's funeral home tried to. upsell my dad a better coffin to cremate grandpa in.

Anonymous wrote:Sorry for your loss, op. I do think you need to either go or pay someone to go into her apt, make sure all ok plus clean out the fridge. Do you have all her passwords and things? She may also have a folder with estate documents or other wishes in the even of her death. Hang in there!

I have a copy of the folder. The building can go in and get the food from her fridge.

I will be honest and say that I don’t really want to be alone tonight so if I can get out of going, I will. Of course I will go for the service, and clean the apartment.

I will pay her home health workers for a while of course, it’s not theirs fault they lost a job, so I can ask them to empty the fridge, take any plants, or simple things like that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Her body needs to be moved to a funeral home. A good funeral home can help with many of the details.
Depending on the state, the funeral home may help you with the death certificate. That needs to happen in most states before cremation.
Pick a time and place for cremation with the funeral home. Does the cremation need to be announced?
Do you want to see your mom before cremation? Would you like to bring her clothes to wear?
Obituary (many people use legacy which is on line, again funeral home might be able to help).

The funeral home will pick up her body. I don’t need to see her body. She was dressed when she died. I think she can just wear those clothes? I could call and ask the person who found her what she was wearing but I am not sure it matters.

If clothes don’t matter, then okay, nothing to worry about. Sounds like you have already selected a funeral home which is a major part of the decisions. I’d call them and talk through what happens. This is their job and they do it everyday.

Anonymous wrote:Her body needs to be moved to a funeral home. A good funeral home can help with many of the details.
Depending on the state, the funeral home may help you with the death certificate. That needs to happen in most states before cremation.
Pick a time and place for cremation with the funeral home. Does the cremation need to be announced?
Do you want to see your mom before cremation? Would you like to bring her clothes to wear?
Obituary (many people use legacy which is on line, again funeral home might be able to help).

The funeral home will pick up her body. I don’t need to see her body. She was dressed when she died. I think she can just wear those clothes? I could call and ask the person who found her what she was wearing but I am not sure it matters.

Her body needs to be moved to a funeral home. A good funeral home can help with many of the details.
Depending on the state, the funeral home may help you with the death certificate. That needs to happen in most states before cremation.
Pick a time and place for cremation with the funeral home. Does the cremation need to be announced?
Do you want to see your mom before cremation? Would you like to bring her clothes to wear?
Obituary (many people use legacy which is on line, again funeral home might be able to help).

Sorry for your loss, op. I do think you need to either go or pay someone to go into her apt, make sure all ok plus clean out the fridge. Do you have all her passwords and things? She may also have a folder with estate documents or other wishes in the even of her death. Hang in there!

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry to hear.

Who is the We that will arrange a service? If thats you, I would head there asap. My parent died and I went immediately.

Funeral arrangements were made the same day. The hospital needs to know where to send the body. You will need to clean out their room, get possessions, secure paperwork for estate transfer, pay and close bills. No one will make decisions for you.

I get all that but I can do all that remotely. I can call her church and choose a funeral home from here I think?

I can clean out her apartment when I go up for the memorial service.

I am clearly still in shock but if I don’t know what to do, I don’t see how traveling would change that.

Meet with a funeral home that will handle the cremation. They'll also arrange for the death certificate. Tip: it costs a few $ more to get a few official copies of that certficate. It's worth it, as various places may require the original.

Did she have a will? If the estate is $25k+, I'd suggest finding a local estate lawyer and let them take care of all that stuff. It'll cost a few thousand, but they know exactly waht needs to be done, and in the end you and the other heirs will just be sent some paperwork to sign, then a check will turn up.

Anonymous wrote:My mother, who lived in another city, passed away suddenly today. She was found dead, probably a heart attack.

I have no other family in her area, everyone else had moved away.

My first instinct was that I should go there, but I realize I don’t know why I feel that way. She would want to be cremated, and we will arrange a service up there for her friends, but probably not for a few weeks.

Is there a reason I need to go immediately? No pets and she lived in a rented apartment in independent living.

Is her independent living facility capable of connecting you with affordable services?

Funeral homes will upsell cremation services. Be wary and do some price comparison by phone.

Are your mother's valuables secure?

Will you need to have her living space vacated as of 9/30?

Familiarize yourself with what you need to do to have her death officially reported. You will need to turn off all of her Social Security and pension benefits in a timely fashion or you'll have repayment headaches.

Don't publish an obituary until you have everything under control. In fact, you may not need one. Public notices can tip off fraudsters.

Sorry to hear it.
Follow your instincts and go.
You will feel better for doing so.

I’m sorry to hear.

Who is the We that will arrange a service? If thats you, I would head there asap. My parent died and I went immediately.

Funeral arrangements were made the same day. The hospital needs to know where to send the body. You will need to clean out their room, get possessions, secure paperwork for estate transfer, pay and close bills. No one will make decisions for you.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, go. There are a lot of things that you can do now to make things easier before the death certificate is issued. Closing an estate takes a long, long time

What things? And specifically what things that can’t be done virtually?

Yes, go. There are a lot of things that you can do now to make things easier before the death certificate is issued. Closing an estate takes a long, long time

I’m sorry for your loss

My mother, who lived in another city, passed away suddenly today. She was found dead, probably a heart attack.

I have no other family in her area, everyone else had moved away.

My first instinct was that I should go there, but I realize I don’t know why I feel that way. She would want to be cremated, and we will arrange a service up there for her friends, but probably not for a few weeks.

Is there a reason I need to go immediately? No pets and she lived in a rented apartment in independent living.