The truth is my husband’s feelings were completely hurt when my daughter hit sixth grade and started to connect more with me around friends, clothes and makeup. I don’t care about makeup or clothes at all, but I could feign much more of an interest than he could. They had been very close up until then (with more in common than I had with her). It was tough because he let the hurt get to him and pulled away instead of providing more bids to connect.

I pushed him to stop acting hurt and focus on very specific things that they could do together. They still do a y guide’s trip each year in august (she is in 8th now). But the best thing they did together was a father-daughter music festival with her best friend and her dad. They spent the night at a town a couple of hours away and they all loved the music. I’m sure my daughter will always remember her first music concert with him. He even suggested a science museum the second morning and the girls were not super enthusiastic, but they ended up having the best time ever and had to be pulled away from the museum.

You asking your husband to go shopping likely isn’t helpful. I would talk to him (without criticism) about something special the two of them both might enjoy once a month. We go to the movies a lot and let our kid invite a friend. We let them sit on a separate row, it still gives us something to connect about when we discuss the movie later. We talk about movie trailers and what we want to see next, etc.

It is still a little tough for them, because his jokes annoy the crap out of her and he sees his joking as a bid for connection. But, I do think doing something fun for both of them once a month really helps.

Middle school was a dark time for DD and DH, but now that she’s in college they e reconnected a bit. I think kids go through phases where they view one (or sometimes both) parent as THE WORST and you just have to deal with the phase.

NP. I might be in a similar situation.

My DH has become more disconnected from DD over the years starting at age 8 or so. It’s like he can’t read the room and then when he does, he pushes in just the wrong way even though he knows it’s make things worse. It’s hard to watch. It almost seems like a kind of intentional self-destruction of their relationship but I would be hard pressed to give proof or even speculate as to why he’s doing it.

DH has always been socially awkward but there’s more going on and I don’t get it.

I haven't known any men who enjoy clothes shopping. And especially not for kids.

Find an activity where your husband and daughter can bond. How about middle school robotics? Light home repair projects like painting her room a new color or putting up shelves in her closet? Gardening?

At my community center, there's an all-ages sushi making class that would be low stress for any types of people from middle school on up.

My husband has become so annoying. His sense of humor has reverted to that of a 13 year old boy (lots of fart and butt jokes). I think he’s trying to relate to our 12 year old daughter through these jokes but they are not funny. Neither of us enjoys this potty humor and when I try to nicely explain that’s not how to relate he get defensive. He has always been stubborn and when I suggest things like come clothes shopping with us which is something our daughter likes he refuses. I feel like big rights happening and I do t know how to fix it.