Anonymous
Post 09/13/2025 21:07     Subject: Re:Ladies was there a point when you were dating your DH when you realized he would not just make a good husband but a good
I don’t think I really knew until we become parents. Neither of us were really around young kids nor are the type that are “kid people” with other people’s kids. But we both wanted kids someday and we each had things that were important to us in raising kids. He had both parents present and similar to the PP, he didn’t want a career where he would not see his kids. I’ve never dated a guy and thought “oh because he roughhoused with a nephew or held a baby he will be a great dad”. It’s more about being compatible in your relationship with each other and in what you value, being able to communicate, and being able to step into the amount of responsibility having kids adds to your life. I felt confident of the first two before we got married and didn’t really know for sure the last one until we had kids.
Anonymous
Post 09/13/2025 20:38     Subject: Ladies was there a point when you were dating your DH when you realized he would not just make a good husband but a good
We were not even dating yet. But this happened with the way he spoke about and treated/touched a pregnant local dog (and then her puppies) at the guesthouse were we were staying (met in another country). I saw his hands carefully handling the puppies and the trusting face of this poor mother dog looking up at him/letting him touch her newborns when she hid from/bared teeth at others made me feel to my core like "YES".

I also had a fun/caring/engaged father so I knew what it looked/felt like when I saw it.
Anonymous
Post 09/13/2025 20:26     Subject: Ladies was there a point when you were dating your DH when you realized he would not just make a good husband but a good

I married him.
Anonymous
Post 09/13/2025 19:59     Subject: Ladies was there a point when you were dating your DH when you realized he would not just make a good husband but a good
Anonymous wrote:Yes. I married him. He’s a good dad when things aren’t too challenging. after a few years he stopped really caring about our relationship. [/quote]

My guess that's at least the case with 60% of married men.
Anonymous
Post 09/13/2025 19:05     Subject: Ladies was there a point when you were dating your DH when you realized he would not just make a good husband but a good
A good what? Are we all assuming OP meant to say "father"?

He had enjoyed being a high school teacher and was over the moon about becoming an uncle.
Anonymous
Post 09/13/2025 18:21     Subject: Ladies was there a point when you were dating your DH when you realized he would not just make a good husband but a good
My DH is the most responsible person I know - also incredibly generous. I knew he would be an excellent provider who would put family first and that’s exactly who he is.
Anonymous
Post 09/13/2025 18:12     Subject: Ladies was there a point when you were dating your DH when you realized he would not just make a good husband but a good
No. He was totally uninterested in children. 😂. But growing up his mother was ill and for many years his father did the bulk of the parenting and housework, so I knew that being a good dad and partner was modeled for him. He also clearly stated to me early in the marriage that if we had children career would take a backseat to spending time with them. He had many cousins with successful dads who were not present parents and he felt that did more harm than good. So he is an excellent, very present dad. Not a perfect dad by any means but a great dad.
Anonymous
Post 09/13/2025 18:08     Subject: Ladies was there a point when you were dating your DH when you realized he would not just make a good husband but a good
Yes. I married him. He’s a good dad when things aren’t too challenging. But after a few years he stopped really caring about our relationship.
Anonymous
Post 09/13/2025 17:27     Subject: Ladies was there a point when you were dating your DH when you realized he would not just make a good husband but a good
I wish
Anonymous
Post 09/13/2025 11:28     Subject: Ladies was there a point when you were dating your DH when you realized he would not just make a good husband but a good
Anonymous wrote:I broke up with an ex when I realized he would not be good father.


Same. And similarly married the one who I realized would be. And I was right!
Anonymous
Post 09/13/2025 11:15     Subject: Ladies was there a point when you were dating your DH when you realized he would not just make a good husband but a good
I broke up with an ex when I realized he would not be good father.
Anonymous
Post 09/13/2025 11:11     Subject: Ladies was there a point when you were dating your DH when you realized he would not just make a good husband but a good
Yes we had been daring awhile when he met my friend and her young kids. It hit me (and my friend) like a lightning bolt when we saw how wonderful he was with her kids.
Anonymous
Post 09/13/2025 10:51     Subject: Ladies was there a point when you were dating your DH when you realized he would not just make a good husband but a good
I come from a conservative culture who dates to marry. I dated two men in my life. I wouldn't have if I didn't think they wouldn't make good fathers.
Anonymous
Post 09/13/2025 10:50     Subject: Ladies was there a point when you were dating your DH when you realized he would not just make a good husband but a good
Currently seeing someone now and I had a moment yesterday when I thought " this is someone I want raising my sons or daughters. And it's sorry if tripping me up because I never had that thought before. Yes with most of the men I have dated I thought he's good with kids he's a good man but never that.