Still no

OP again. All the deep cleaning is outsourced. Cooking is shared.

No

OP here. The fit spouse either works out at home after the kids are in bed, during their lunch break, or occasionally goes to the gym with the kids in tow to drop them off at the gym's childcare. The other spouse typically spends this time on their computer and/or playing video games; they indeed are responsible for more chores because they wanted multiple pets and agreed to do all of the pet care.

Anonymous wrote:One of my friends' husbands is always training for ultramarathons. But that means he's gone literally all day, every weekend, because it takes a wee bit of time to run 100km. Is he fit? Sure. Does he ever see his kids, or participate in family life? Rarely.

Golfers and marathon/ultramarathon/cyclists/triathletes make the worst spouses. I have seen both men and women blow up marriages over this.

It sounds like you are on your way to making a spreadsheet score card which is a great way to improve a relationship! /s

No. When I go to the gym it has really nothing to do with my marriage and is time I'm spending on myself. It's good for me, and my spouse supports that, but I'm not doing it to improve our marriage.

One of my friends' husbands is always training for ultramarathons. But that means he's gone literally all day, every weekend, because it takes a wee bit of time to run 100km. Is he fit? Sure. Does he ever see his kids, or participate in family life? Rarely.

Anonymous wrote:If you are a man, I can assure you no wife on Earth counts you staying fit as a contribution to the marriage. She counts you going to the gym as you having time to yourself, she's mad about it, and she holds it against you.

You'd be very wrong. I love it when my DH works out. I mean I prefer it when he does it at 6am instead of 6pm, though.

PP do you consider a 6 hour "golfing day" as working out? I would be upset if that happened every weekend day. Driving around in a golf cart day drinking is not having time to yourself. (It's fine if it's a once off though)

Anonymous wrote:If you are a man, I can assure you no wife on Earth counts you staying fit as a contribution to the marriage. She counts you going to the gym as you having time to yourself, she's mad about it, and she holds it against you.

I appreciate that DH is not obese and is fit. However, if he prioritized fitness or contributing roughly 50/50 at home, I'd be angry.

No, I don't it's a contribution for marriage. Taking care of yourself is important, put on your own oxygen mask first etc, but if you are choosing yourself at the expense of other things in your marriage - ie chores - then you're choosing yourself over your marriage.

I'm a wife and do consider my DH staying fit as a contribution to our marriage. It helps both in his overall health and also his attractiveness to me. I do the same as well for him. We would still love each other in sickness and in health, but people do have some personal responsibility for their own health.

Anonymous wrote:If one spouse is fit, works out multiple times a week, and eats healthy, while the other never works out, is obese, and avoids most fruits and vegetables, does staying fit count as a contribution to the marriage? Let's assume both people work the same hours, have similar amounts of free time, and are without major health issues.

"Similar" is not "the same." Is one spouse doing household chores while the other has more time to work out? Is one spouse taking time for what is really a hobby (i.e., cycling, long-distance running) under the guise of "this is a contribution to the household?"

If you are a man, I can assure you no wife on Earth counts you staying fit as a contribution to the marriage. She counts you going to the gym as you having time to yourself, she's mad about it, and she holds it against you.

If one spouse is fit, works out multiple times a week, and eats healthy, while the other never works out, is obese, and avoids most fruits and vegetables, does staying fit count as a contribution to the marriage? Let's assume both people work the same hours, have similar amounts of free time, and are without major health issues.