That is a completely normal thing to put on your DIL's birthday card. It's especially true in this day and age when so many people are not having children at all, so I can understand why they are grateful for the grandchildren.

I think I’d be bothered. It sounds like they aren’t appreciating you for being you. Just your output, so to speak.

Anonymous wrote:Well since they probably value their grandchildren above all else, take it as a compliment.

This. They're awkward and the grandkids are the best thing that's come of your marriage, from their POV.

If you're not personal friends with your in-laws (as in exchange heart to heart conversations), I can't see that awkward statements of appreciation are anything to freak out about.

I would take it as a compliment, which, I think, I’d how they meant it. If you’re insulted by it, I feel like there’s some tension in the relationship or you feel sensitive about your role in their family for some reason.

Oh gawd, how could you find this insulting? I mean surely they treasure your kids and are grateful for how you’ve raised them. That’s so nice of them to say.

Anonymous wrote:I would take it as "how nice they remembered my birthday!" and move on with my life.

My mil texts me a happy birthday GIF every year and my husband a card and a $50 check. Which is a slap in the face bc she can’t even be assed to type out a personalized happy bday text. So consider yourself lucky. Also weird considering in every other way she treats my husband and I equal to the point you can’t even tell who is her child and who is her in law child. Like down to if she texts us asking if we landed safely or what we want for dinner if we are in town she texts both of us together. If we are in town visiting and she asks my husband a question she will ask me. We are treated equal to a T yet in this one area we aren’t and I racked my brain trying to figure out why and I can’t for the life of me figure it out. It’s almost like she has a moral opposition to celebrating a DIL’s birthday. I thought about asking her why she treats me as less than her son in this one area only

Well since they probably value their grandchildren above all else, take it as a compliment.

I would take it as "how nice they remembered my birthday!" and move on with my life.

Well, what else have you done for them that they could thank you for?

My ILs have a longer list for me, like waiting until the wee hours for them at the ER when they had health scares, bringing by vegetables from their home country from the further away specialty grocer, and making farmers cheese for them. And those are the things they thank me for (along with 3 grandchildren) at times like my birthday.

This is their way of saying thank you

You must be the OP of the incubator thread.

I think it sounds lovely.

This would not bother me

I have never received a card from my in-laws. My in-laws love me, but they don't run to cards.

Learn to move on, OP. It doesn't actually matter whether or not they view you as a progenitor.

Are you also the OP of the incubator thread?

How would you take this handwritten inscription in a bday card from your in-laws (I’m the DIL):

“Happy birthday to the wonderful daughter in law who’s given us 3 beautiful grandchildren. “

We are cordial, friendly but not close.

This just rubbbed me the wrong way, makes me feel like I’m simply a means to furthering their family line. Would’ve preferred just a generic “happy birthday!”

Would you be bothered?