What a disservice to her. What’s going to happen to her when you two aren’t around to take care of her anymore?

My brother moved home after military service and let my mom cook for him, clean for him, do laundry for him, shop for him while he contributed only nominally to household costs. He did go to school and work, but contributed just about nothing instead spending all on himself. I thought it was really gross and I know he and my father got into it about it on occasion, but he was the golden child so my mother wouldn’t hear of him being encouraged to move out - he only did when he married, and by the time he’d driven her to divorce he lived too far from home to move back in with my parents.

I moved out as soon as I could and NEVER considered going back. It cost me a ton financially to take that position, but I couldn’t stand having to see my parents marriage for the 18 years I was there and after my first taste of living free of that toxicity and my father’s tyranny I wasn’t ever going to voluntarily submit myself again.

I have to say I had some envy of the folks who lived at home so they could save up or spend less for education, but I have no idea what kind of sh*t they might have been eating daily for that benefit.

I guess at some level I’m thankful my parents made life at home so miserable, because it drove me to figure out how to make it on my own.

28 is very old to be living like a teenager and totally mooching off the ‘rents. Perhaps she’s just a total failure to launch.

I would stop doing things for her. No laundry, no cleaning, she gets no grocery requests. See if DH picks up the slack.

Why did your DH insist that she live with you? What does she want to do? What are her goals?

Anonymous wrote:I think you’re overreacting a bit too much, the twenties are a time to explore and live life a little.

Sure but not on her parents dime! She needs a job!

I think you’re overreacting a bit too much, the twenties are a time to explore and live life a little.

Has she ever had a job?

Your problem is with your husband not your daughter.

This would be a marriage-ender for me
but this is so messed-up, it might be a troll post

Who's paying her bills? You can't enable her then complain. Stop paying her bills.

You need to have a talk with your DH to find out why he thinks this is ok.

Anonymous wrote:Where is your DD getting money for her social life, clothes, eating/drinking outside the home? You and your DH need marital counseling STAT. Prepare for blow back from your spouse and your DD—this nonsense has gone on WAY too long.

+1

Where is your DD getting money for her social life, clothes, eating/drinking outside the home? You and your DH need marital counseling STAT. Prepare for blow back from your spouse and your DD—this nonsense has gone on WAY too long.

Move out yourself, let DH deal with it.

DD, 28, has finished college, six years ago. She lives with us, upon her father’s insistence. She is very lazy and unbothered. It’s not that she can’t find a job, she’s just not looking. She goes out partying and on dates with people far too old for her, but mostly she sleeps. She’s not depressed, she’s pretty happy, but I’m not. DH won’t let me make her move out, my nagging isn’t working, and I’m worried I raised a mooch. What to do?