Anonymous wrote:Men being men.

+1 this is statistically much more common for men to do than for women to do.

I think that's a good reason not to remarry later in life. I feel sorry for him and her. I know a widower at our club who remarried about four years ago and dementia hit after two years and now he is in assisted living. I have no idea how his wife has reacted but I feel very sorry for both of them. She was a widow too.

Who would date him after this? Nobody with good values. I wouldn’t even want to be friends with him.

He is just not a nice person. Anyone who marries that late in life thinking illness will not be a pert of it is a moron or super naive or maybe he thought she was his insurance policy when he got sick but didn’t want to do the same for her. Hope he never marries anyone again.

She probably won't remember him.

Anonymous wrote:My brother married a woman about a year ago. He is in his 60s and so is she. She developed early onset dementia and now he is filing for divorce. He is moving on. I think on the one hand it was not a a long relationship, maybe 2 years in total. On the other hand, I wonder if he has any obligations to this woman. He says is too hard and doesnt want to see her and wont be seeing her again. He is looking forward to dating again.

Uh yeah, he doesn’t remember in sickness and in health, til death do us part?

Anonymous wrote:It is cruel. What I don't understand is the cruelty, never seeing her again. Not feeling an obligation and not wishing to do the right thing. I don't think the detail of divorce is significant. Suppose there may be some legal issues re: financial support. I could understand if it were a financial decision - but the emotional abandonment is completely different, and cruel.

It actually demonstrates his inability to emotionally attach. Normal people cannot do thsi.

Anonymous wrote:It is cruel. What I don't understand is the cruelty, never seeing her again. Not feeling an obligation and not wishing to do the right thing. I don't think the detail of divorce is significant. Suppose there may be some legal issues re: financial support. I could understand if it were a financial decision - but the emotional abandonment is completely different, and cruel.

And what's even worse is FINANCIAL abandonment. Which is what these people are doing, actually.

Anonymous wrote:Since it was a short marriage, I think it’s ok. I knew someone whose wife of 30 years got dementia, and he cheated on her then divorced her. That was a terrible thing to see.

I would give a pass to anyone who cheats on their demented spouse, if they also take care of them. Dementia takes a person away well before their death.

But abandonment is something else, especially in a long marriage.

It is cruel. What I don't understand is the cruelty, never seeing her again. Not feeling an obligation and not wishing to do the right thing. I don't think the detail of divorce is significant. Suppose there may be some legal issues re: financial support. I could understand if it were a financial decision - but the emotional abandonment is completely different, and cruel.

Men being men.

Since it was a short marriage, I think it’s ok. I knew someone whose wife of 30 years got dementia, and he cheated on her then divorced her. That was a terrible thing to see.

Did he share the reason for the divorce ?
Maybe he simply doesn’t want to take her medical issues on after only two year in..

Ouch. Well, maybe he needed to divorce her to protect his assets from Medicaid? Maybe her adult children wanted to take over, and he wanted that for her, too. It's not like it was a long marriage.

My brother married a woman about a year ago. He is in his 60s and so is she. She developed early onset dementia and now he is filing for divorce. He is moving on. I think on the one hand it was not a a long relationship, maybe 2 years in total. On the other hand, I wonder if he has any obligations to this woman. He says is too hard and doesnt want to see her and wont be seeing her again. He is looking forward to dating again.