Anonymous
Post 08/25/2025 10:43     Subject: What's wrong with a kid being "overscheduled"?
Anonymous wrote:I think that one of the signs that a kid is overscheduled is that they don't use downtime well. Sometimes, I will hear parents say that their kid does better with lots of activities, because they don't know what to do when they are home alone, or they always revert to screens, or they complain about being bored, or they are annoying. But all of those things are, in my experience, signs that a kid is missing the skills that downtime develops. And yes, some kids will develop those skills more slowly, or need more support. But downtime is like reading, IMO. If your kid wasn't good at reading, and didn't do it spontaneously, and constantly complained that it was boring, and made mistakes while doing it, you wouldn't see that as a sign that they needed less reading. You'd see it as a sign that they needed more reading, and you'd be very intentional about structuring the time they spent on reading.

On the other hand, there are also kids who are great at downtime, and ask for it. Those kids can end up overscheduled too!

That doesn't sound right to me. I think there are kids who are very social and/or need to be physically active who thrive on lots of activities. I also think some kids are introverts who would rather do things at home by themselves. Neither is wrong.
Anonymous
Post 08/25/2025 10:30     Subject: What's wrong with a kid being "overscheduled"?
Kids are individuals, act accordingly and dont shame others for not following your over/under scheduling because it is family dependent.
Anonymous
Post 08/25/2025 10:28     Subject: What's wrong with a kid being "overscheduled"?
Because a kid needs downtime and free time. They needs to learn to entertain themselves without always being in a structured activity or a screen. And its good for them to have friends not just in those activities.
Anonymous
Post 08/25/2025 09:24     Subject: Re:What's wrong with a kid being "overscheduled"?
2 activities 3 days a week plus an instrument lesson and daily practice sounds like a lot, but I think it partly depends on what the kid would be doing otherwise. You say she wouldn't be watching TV or on screens but a lot of kids would, and in those cases "overscheduling" might be better.

I had my kid following a similar schedule and thought it was fine because he loved it. We cut one activity out and he is much more creative and is better able to independently fill his time (and play with other kids in an unstructured way). Now he likes having downtime. When he was in that many activities, it didn't allow enough time for unstructured, child-led time especially as he doesn't have siblings around.
Anonymous
Post 08/25/2025 08:05     Subject: What's wrong with a kid being "overscheduled"?
Anonymous wrote:"Overscheduled" implies that there is a problem. It refers to a kid who doesn't get enough free play time, is resentful or overwhelmed by the activities they are in, or has academic or social problems as a result of their activities schedule.

If your kid doesn't have any problems, she's not over scheduled, she's correctly scheduled.

Different kids are different and need different things. I have one kid who complained to me about not getting enough time to just play and hang out in her room during the week, so I canceled the activity she liked the least (Girl Scouts) so that she has an extra afternoon a week to relax at home. Now she's happier. But if your kid isn't complaining, it's fine.


+1. Your child is not over scheduled.
Anonymous
Post 08/25/2025 08:00     Subject: What's wrong with a kid being "overscheduled"?
My kids both tell me they like down time after school and not having to rush anywhere, so we make sure we have that’s few days a week. My DD likes more activities than my DS so she does a little more, typically later in the evening.
Anonymous
Post 08/25/2025 07:08     Subject: What's wrong with a kid being "overscheduled"?
Anonymous wrote:"Overscheduled" is by definition bad; the question is, what does "overscheduled" mean to you and your family? It's subjective, philosophical, and can't be defined for you by internet strangers, no matter how much people on here love to get up on their soapbox and tell you how to live your life and raise your family.


To a lot of people it’s just scheduled time. The only people who say overscheduled are the ones mad that some kid isn’t available to play with theirs. OPs kid doesn’t sound that busy, just with a daily activity.
Anonymous
Post 08/25/2025 07:05     Subject: What's wrong with a kid being "overscheduled"?
Your kid isn't overscheduled Op. That's why it doesn't seem so bad.
Anonymous
Post 08/25/2025 07:01     Subject: What's wrong with a kid being "overscheduled"?
"Overscheduled" is by definition bad; the question is, what does "overscheduled" mean to you and your family? It's subjective, philosophical, and can't be defined for you by internet strangers, no matter how much people on here love to get up on their soapbox and tell you how to live your life and raise your family.
Anonymous
Post 08/25/2025 06:27     Subject: What's wrong with a kid being "overscheduled"?
I think that one of the signs that a kid is overscheduled is that they don't use downtime well. Sometimes, I will hear parents say that their kid does better with lots of activities, because they don't know what to do when they are home alone, or they always revert to screens, or they complain about being bored, or they are annoying. But all of those things are, in my experience, signs that a kid is missing the skills that downtime develops. And yes, some kids will develop those skills more slowly, or need more support. But downtime is like reading, IMO. If your kid wasn't good at reading, and didn't do it spontaneously, and constantly complained that it was boring, and made mistakes while doing it, you wouldn't see that as a sign that they needed less reading. You'd see it as a sign that they needed more reading, and you'd be very intentional about structuring the time they spent on reading.

On the other hand, there are also kids who are great at downtime, and ask for it. Those kids can end up overscheduled too!
Anonymous
Post 08/25/2025 06:00     Subject: What's wrong with a kid being "overscheduled"?
Anonymous wrote:Nope, no research. She's not over scheduled if she loves it. A lot of parents who talk about over scheduled kids are parents who just don't want to drive their kids places after school so convince themselves it's not good for the kids. SOME kids need a lot of downtime after the stimulation of a school day, but many don't.

Do what works for you and your kid and don't worry about what other people think.


There’s a heap of judgment here.

OP, does her unscheduled time include unstructured play with friends, not just solo? Because navigating that is an important part of developing social skills, too.
Anonymous
Post 08/25/2025 01:00     Subject: What's wrong with a kid being "overscheduled"?
"Overscheduled" implies that there is a problem. It refers to a kid who doesn't get enough free play time, is resentful or overwhelmed by the activities they are in, or has academic or social problems as a result of their activities schedule.

If your kid doesn't have any problems, she's not over scheduled, she's correctly scheduled.

Different kids are different and need different things. I have one kid who complained to me about not getting enough time to just play and hang out in her room during the week, so I canceled the activity she liked the least (Girl Scouts) so that she has an extra afternoon a week to relax at home. Now she's happier. But if your kid isn't complaining, it's fine.
Anonymous
Post 08/25/2025 00:59     Subject: What's wrong with a kid being "overscheduled"?
Anonymous wrote:Everyone says it's bad for kids to have too many structured extracurriculars, but why? My kid does two activities 3 days a week each and I don't see what's wrong with it. She loves the activities and isn't ready to choose between them yet. She also does an instrument that has a lesson once a week and she practices every day. When she's not at her activities she's having unstructured play -- she doesn't watch tv or have an iPad.

Is there any actual research that says having lots of activities is bad for kids?


It's bad if the kid is exhausted and moody from lack of down time, if the grades are slipping because activities are eating into homework time and disrupting sleep schedules, if your other children are having their schedules disrupted, etc.

If you're not experiencing anything like that then there's nothing to worry about. Only you know if the activities are excessive. Internet strangers can only give vague advice about red flags to watch out for.
Anonymous
Post 08/25/2025 00:48     Subject: What's wrong with a kid being "overscheduled"?
Nope, no research. She's not over scheduled if she loves it. A lot of parents who talk about over scheduled kids are parents who just don't want to drive their kids places after school so convince themselves it's not good for the kids. SOME kids need a lot of downtime after the stimulation of a school day, but many don't.

Do what works for you and your kid and don't worry about what other people think.
Anonymous
Post 08/25/2025 00:43     Subject: What's wrong with a kid being "overscheduled"?
Everyone says it's bad for kids to have too many structured extracurriculars, but why? My kid does two activities 3 days a week each and I don't see what's wrong with it. She loves the activities and isn't ready to choose between them yet. She also does an instrument that has a lesson once a week and she practices every day. When she's not at her activities she's having unstructured play -- she doesn't watch tv or have an iPad.

Is there any actual research that says having lots of activities is bad for kids?