What is the OP talking about? I never cleaned anyone’s house nor car and was not hazed. Your intel is suspect.

my DC is at W&L - apparently very inclusive and everyone who wants a bid gets one - no real hierarchy you see at SEC schools with top tier etc

I always laugh at these threads. Clearly they’re started by insecure and/or unattractive women. We get it — you couldn’t rush yourself because you didn’t have what it takes and you’re still bitter about it all these years later.

I was in a sorority and the thought of my son joining a fraternity kind of horrifies me, but I’d love for my daughter to have the same wonderful experience that I did.

I’m not going to pressure them either way though. It’s their college experience, not mine.

I am another that recommends let your kid decide. I have two kids and two different schools. One chose to enter the Greek system. The other did not. My kids have very different personalities. My daughter, who is the one who did join, loves a sense of community and belonging and affiliation so she went to rush and put the effort out there. She's rising Junior now and has really made good friends through her sorority. My son on the other hand looked into it since his girlfriend is a sorority girl and decided he did not want to. He said that he heard rumors and his girlfriend heard rumors of what some of the fraternities were asking the boys who were rushing to do, I know we're not supposed to haze, but it sounds like hazing is still happening, and he said he was not that desperate to make a new group of friends, he liked the friends he already made in the dorms freshman year. . That is pretty much a direct quote from him

My daughter said she did not have to do anything weird like stay up all night or anything Ben rushing for her sorority

Discourage to the point of not allowing. You don't pay for friends.

I was in a sorority because it was just expected of me. I rushed in the south but it fine because I knew people in all of the top houses and got a bid from a good one. However I was probably one of the least involved people in my pledge class, though I did like living in the house my last 2 years. Good food and it was homey. I just didn't click with most of the pledge class because of the superficiality and my closest friends were in other sororities.

Overall I guess it was beneficial but it wasn't a huge part of my college experience except that it was a great place to live.

Nerd alert!

We're not fans of hazing or paying dues for friends, so we haven't been encouraging it.

Anonymous wrote:I assume this would depend on the kid’s personality, what exactly the Greek system is like at their particular school, and what they’d want to get out of it or any other extracurricular activities.

My kid isn’t interested. I’m not encouraging them either way. Greek life wasn’t my scene and DC has a very similar personality to me so I’m not surprised they aren’t interested, though.

This part. I am not automatically for/against Greek life. Too many individual factors for a blanket yes or no. I didn’t participate; spouse did. Will see what kids want.

I will let my kid decide. I will not encourage or discourage. I don't care one way or another. My kid will be fine regardless of his path.

We've encouraged our son not to join a fraternity unless he ends up at a school like W&M where the greek scene is very low key.

We've asked/told him...

1) If there is a culture of hazing (as there is at most all fraternities), ask yourself why you would even want to be friends with guys who enjoy causing pain/misery to other humans...
2) You will have to pay for all costs of the fraternity

He has also said to us, why would I want to pay to have friends? I can find friends wherever I go; I don't need to join a fraternity to do it.

I assume this would depend on the kid’s personality, what exactly the Greek system is like at their particular school, and what they’d want to get out of it or any other extracurricular activities.

My kid isn’t interested. I’m not encouraging them either way. Greek life wasn’t my scene and DC has a very similar personality to me so I’m not surprised they aren’t interested, though.

You posted this just to tell us how great you are. A true independent thinker! Go you!

Will you encourage or discourage your Freshman to join a fraternity or sorority?

I never joined because I did not want to pay money for a group of older students to force me to clean their house, wash their cars, attend mandatory drinking parties, wear conforming clothes, and be abused in a hazing ritual.

I withstood the peer pressure and opted out. I will encourage my children to opt out also when it comes time for college.