I did not grow up doing lots of activities, but my kids do a lot of activities. And it’s not so much about the activity themselves, but they are much more comfortable navigating new situations than I was, open to talking to new people, making new friends, and just trying new things and getting out of their comfort zone. They aren’t stand outs at any particular activity but it has given them many other advantages and social skills that will serve them well.

Anonymous wrote:I have what I consider to be the “rich kid basic sports package” which means I swim well, I play passable tennis and golf, I have skied a few times with lessons, and I can maneuver paddle boats.
It makes vacations more fun. But I do other sports now as an adult so the tennis and golf are mostly wasted.

Same. I can also sail a sunfish and play some decent piano. I am a very introverted, shy, uncoordinated person. If I were growing up today, I would have some type of diagnosis for sure of ADHD or even maybe autism. I am very thankful for my childhood experiences, because I have a baseline ability to do a lot of things, interact with people, and feel comfortable in many situations. That said, I refused to do any type of structured / group activity until I was nine. I never had any pressure to do activities. But they were there when I was ready, so I am very thankful for my upbringing. My kids are now having a totally different experience though - still doing lots of activities but completely removed from the waspy culture my non wasp parents aspired to.

It gave me discipline, exposed me to a lot of new things, and gave me opportunities to join a lot of clubs and teams in high school. Ultimately, I think it helped me get into a better college. One of the things I did was a lifetime sport (swimming), that I still do for exercise/sanity. And it all kept me very busy so I did not really have time to get into trouble as a kid!!

My family was kind of poor so i never did activities that cost money. I joined clubs at school because i wanted to do stuff, but i couldn't ever do anything well because i couldn't afford the extra stuff. My parents agreed to buy me running shoes so track became my best activity.

I am now well off with an only child and I let him do EVERYTHING. Probably too much and I know part of me is living vicariously. But the stuff he does is so cool! He has performed on stage many times, he has traveled for sports, he has camped in neat places. I hope it brings him perspective and joy throughout life.

I also think doing a little bit o lf everything is better than being really good at one thing.

Anonymous wrote:For those whose parents put them in many activities growing up -- like swimming, music, ballet, sports, etc. -- I'm curious how that's affected your development.

Do you feel like that's made you a more well-rounded person, and if so, how? More extroverted? Adept at picking up more skills and forming connections?

I dabbled in piano when I was younger, but I'm always so jealous to hear about kids who took part in a bunch of activities growing up and didn't just rot in front of the television.

Activities have different sub cultures, if you will, and attract different people. As such, I find that I am comfortable with lots of different people and sub-cultures and very open to new experiences.

I think that comes from exposure through lots of activities but also living in very diverse cosmopolitan areas and very rural areas with more poverty. I had enough of a mix at a young age that nothing felt “foreign” and I’ve always had a very diverse friend group - racially/ethnically but also socioeconomic and religious status.

I have what I consider to be the “rich kid basic sports package” which means I swim well, I play passable tennis and golf, I have skied a few times with lessons, and I can maneuver paddle boats.
It makes vacations more fun. But I do other sports now as an adult so the tennis and golf are mostly wasted.

I grew up poor and didn't do any organized activities. However, I played outside with my friends every single day. I think that informal play helped me as much as any organized activity - with social skills, conflict resolution, confidence, and physical fitness.

When I was a teen I started working - babysitting, fast food, working in a nursing home. That experience also taught me valuable skills - being dependable, working hard, taking pride in my work and in my independence.

There are lots of ways to help your child mature that don't always involve formal activities.

I did a lot of different things as a kid - a rec sport every season, music lessons in and out of school, scouts, church stuff. I liked all of it, probably didn't know when to give some of it up. I think I appreciate a lot of things because of it (music, art, museums, sports, volunteer work, travel, team work). It gave me opportunities in high school to be in the band and on teams. I did some clubs in college and kept one life long sport. I wasn't great at any of those things, but I probably wouldn't be great at any of them even if I had picked just one to focus on. I think kids should try a lot of things when they are little and should also try things if they have an interest in them (within reason)

I had good experiences with my extracurriculars and I don’t feel like they were a waste. In some ways, they were value added. That said, I don’t think they were as intense as they can be today. I took violin and clarinet lessons. Spanish language lessons. Horseback riding and tennis. Swim lessons up to lifeguarding. I joined various clubs outside of school.

I took the music seriously and I think it gave me good abilities to do things that are tedious and boring, a good ability to make a plan to tackle learning something. I had music teachers who would ask us to listen to a bunch of different artists playing the piece, identify the differences and then argue for which interpretation we liked , etc. I was comfortable in grad school applying the same logic - here are the different interpretations of the problem, the different approaches. I also had a lot more discipline than most of my colleagues for learning hard languages because it reminded me of practicing the piano - it’s boring and repetition is important, etc.

DH doesn't play his musical instrument anymore. But he is in masters swimming at 45 and that was his main activity. He also did a ton of pub trivia and met some good friends that way - after doing those things all in HS. It really just depends on the person.
I played sport and don't anymore as an adult as I was pushed and didn't enjoy it.

It did not turn me into an extrovert, but I do see the benefits as a 50-something adult. I still play my instrument for pleasure, and I have made regular exercise a lifetime habit.

I didn’t grow up with as many activities as kids today, but I did some. When I think back, I can’t think of any value that the early structured activities really gave to me long-term. I got much more out of my unstructured time — both with other kids in the neighborhood (the games we organized!) and alone. Even things like private music lessons — I appreciate knowing a little bit more about music today, but when I think back, their biggest value was in my getting myself to/from lessons rather than the lessons themselves.

By high school, the structured activities had more meaning and staying power for me.

Not agreeing with your premise. No one needs to rot in front of the television.

You do other things. Not every activity you do to enrich your life needs mommy to sign you up and drive you there.

For those whose parents put them in many activities growing up -- like swimming, music, ballet, sports, etc. -- I'm curious how that's affected your development.

Do you feel like that's made you a more well-rounded person, and if so, how? More extroverted? Adept at picking up more skills and forming connections?

I dabbled in piano when I was younger, but I'm always so jealous to hear about kids who took part in a bunch of activities growing up and didn't just rot in front of the television.