Anonymous wrote:For a test, I would try not to cancel your presentation. As others have said, there may well be more appointments, procedures, and more serious discussions with doctors. This first appointment is something that a spouse can handle. These kind of illnesses are marathons not sprints and this is just a first step.

Yeah, but this advice is coming from people that have gone through long processes. This is brand new for everyone in the family, most notably the patient who needs his parents!

I would absolutely go to the appointment with my scared kid!? How would you even be able to focus on your presentation? And your kid won't forget that you weren't there. Not sure how this is such a dilemma, honestly. Reschedule the presentation. Family emergency is a real thing.

For a test, I would try not to cancel your presentation. As others have said, there may well be more appointments, procedures, and more serious discussions with doctors. This first appointment is something that a spouse can handle. These kind of illnesses are marathons not sprints and this is just a first step.

Anonymous wrote:As a parent of a child with a serious health condition here is my take. Health issues something where you need to divide and conquer as a family. And you need to recognize when you actually need a favor or grace from your employer.

Here you are looking at an appointment for a test. You aren’t getting a diagnosis. You won’t get any information. They probably won’t talk to you at all. Depending on the test you won’t even be in the room. You don’t need to be there. Don’t waste your favors when it doesn’t count.

And if you carry the health insurance, don’t put your job at risk.

Sorry you’re going through this. I hope the results are as good as can be expected.

I have been dealing with a family member who has been going through an ongoing health crisis for the better part of this year and I very much agree with this PP. This could be a marathon and you need to work out a support system for appointments, etc. and figure out when/how you can show up for work and when you really need to miss. Can someone else (spouse?) go to this appointment? Can you record the presentation? (I love that suggestion.)

Depending on your company size and if things get more complicated with your child (which I hope they don't for you), you may want to look into your leave policies, including taking FMLA. I ended up using this to adjust to a part-time/flex schedule and appreciated the flexibility (and, frankly, protection) that it gave me.

My child has a heart defect that was detected later in childhood and he gets followed by a cardiologist as a result. It isn’t a huge deal at this time but will need surgery eventually.

I’d send my spouse to the doctor appointment and do the presentation. Another option is to change the date of the appointment. Your child has lived with this defect for over a decade+ so it’s not like they’re going to whisk him into surgery that day.

As a parent of a child with a serious health condition here is my take. Health issues something where you need to divide and conquer as a family. And you need to recognize when you actually need a favor or grace from your employer.

Here you are looking at an appointment for a test. You aren’t getting a diagnosis. You won’t get any information. They probably won’t talk to you at all. Depending on the test you won’t even be in the room. You don’t need to be there. Don’t waste your favors when it doesn’t count.

And if you carry the health insurance, don’t put your job at risk.

Sorry you’re going through this. I hope the results are as good as can be expected.

Family first. Always.

Be up front and truthful with your work.

Best wishes to your teenager and your family.

Anonymous wrote:Just be honest with them. Honestly if your managers hold this against you or don't understand, I'd be looking for a new job.

This. Although if your husband can make the appt I’d consider doing the presentation (although I’d also consider how well I’d be able to focus on giving a good presentation)

You posted in the Health Forum re: teen's heart defect

Where is your dh? Can't he take your kid to appt? Are there other appointments spots with another doctor? Or a different imaging center (you dont say what type of appointment this is)?

Per your post in the Health Forum, there are questions as to the urgency. Not every heart defect is serious at least serious enough to stop everything like an huge presentation.

Off the top of my head for example, septal defects can close on their own and heart murmurs and arrhythmia s are often benign and require no intervention.

I would do a pre-recorded presentation and make myself available later for questions.

If it were me I would explain it to my manager and pull out of the presentation. He would be 100% supportive. Either way, I don’t think you can skip being there with your son when he might be afraid and needing support.

Trust that other opportunities will come in your career, but there are key moments to show your kids your values and what is important.

I hope everything goes alright for you!

I hate this. You’re a mom first and sounds pretty serious with heart condition. Don’t think twice about where you should be.

Just be honest with them. Honestly if your managers hold this against you or don't understand, I'd be looking for a new job.

I think I would be honest and tell them. I would have major guilt to not be there for an appt like that. Are you senior enough that this won’t jeopardize your position? At the same time, f it. Be honest and I would like to think they get it.

I was asked to present to 200 plus people next week which will be awesome exposure for me. I prepared the presentation, I feel ready. Then we took my teenager in for appts this week and had a test yesterday and learned they may have a heart defect. They want further tests with specialists asap and soonest appt is of course during this presentation time. I am stressed. I want to be there for my child as they are scared, I wasn’t there yesterday when they found this and the next appt will be important as they will confirm if defect and next steps. Now what? Be honest with my managers about this and how I want to be in both places? I feel like this isn’t a good look but realistically the appt may be 3-4 hours so impossible to be on camera presenting while there.