Anonymous
08/05/2025 15:10
Subject: Anxious generation in practice
Anonymous wrote:What is there to be anxious about? Children have to grow up and be independent. Do you really want them to live at home with you when they are 30? sad.
I think this is exactly why OP posed the question…
Anonymous
08/05/2025 14:25
Subject: Anxious generation in practice
What is there to be anxious about? Children have to grow up and be independent. Do you really want them to live at home with you when they are 30? sad.
Anonymous
08/05/2025 14:05
Subject: Anxious generation in practice
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I’m reading the book now and am also curious. I’m a bit of a helicopter parent and always nervous about things like child abductions. I have a 10 year old and a 4 year old.
This summer I started letting my 10 year old stay at the pool “by themself” (to hang out with their friends). But it’s enclosed and I do t have to worry about creepers snatching them.
I have anxiety letting my kids wonder around the neighborhood on their own. Really don’t want to do that.
You don’t let your ten year old walk around without you? That’s definitely old enough to walk to a corner store or a friend’s house alone. Please give them that gift.
Walk to a corner store?! That’s like 2 miles away. No way.
I live in a nice area but would not let my 10 yo walk around by herself that far.
I think I remember my parents letting me do that sort of stuff at 12 or 13.
For ages 7-10 I would say they could walk to a neighbor friend’s house by themselves and play in our yard/bike nearby alone but I would be checking on them every once in a while.
Anonymous
08/05/2025 14:01
Subject: Anxious generation in practice
Anonymous wrote:I have a 7yo and we've been encouraging her to push her boundaries now for years. It is her who holds herself back, I don't force things but I tell her if she is comfortable... She rarely is. So my hijack is, do you MAKE your dc do these things or do you ASK them? What if they say no?
Generally I believe in forcing kids to level up. But if they don't want to go down the water slide, then they have the natural consequence of being left behind when all their friends go without them. If they won't order food at a restaurant, then they don't get food. If they won't do their laundry, they won't have any more clean clothes.
Anonymous
08/05/2025 13:59
Subject: Anxious generation in practice
I have a 7yo and we've been encouraging her to push her boundaries now for years. It is her who holds herself back, I don't force things but I tell her if she is comfortable... She rarely is. So my hijack is, do you MAKE your dc do these things or do you ASK them? What if they say no?
Anonymous
08/05/2025 13:51
Subject: Anxious generation in practice
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I’m reading the book now and am also curious. I’m a bit of a helicopter parent and always nervous about things like child abductions. I have a 10 year old and a 4 year old.
This summer I started letting my 10 year old stay at the pool “by themself” (to hang out with their friends). But it’s enclosed and I do t have to worry about creepers snatching them.
I have anxiety letting my kids wonder around the neighborhood on their own. Really don’t want to do that.
You don’t let your ten year old walk around without you? That’s definitely old enough to walk to a corner store or a friend’s house alone. Please give them that gift.
Not necessarily. Depends on where they live.
Anonymous
08/05/2025 12:43
Subject: Anxious generation in practice
Anonymous wrote:I’m reading the book now and am also curious. I’m a bit of a helicopter parent and always nervous about things like child abductions. I have a 10 year old and a 4 year old.
This summer I started letting my 10 year old stay at the pool “by themself” (to hang out with their friends). But it’s enclosed and I do t have to worry about creepers snatching them.
I have anxiety letting my kids wonder around the neighborhood on their own. Really don’t want to do that.
You don’t let your ten year old walk around without you? That’s definitely old enough to walk to a corner store or a friend’s house alone. Please give them that gift.
Anonymous
08/05/2025 12:29
Subject: Anxious generation in practice
^ i was two posts up - the 35 was a typo; it is a 25 mph street
Anonymous
08/05/2025 12:28
Subject: Anxious generation in practice
Anonymous wrote:At that age I would start with having them order their own drinks/meals/ice cream.
Politely and with eye contact.
Ask them to find an item in the store in a different aisle and bring it back to you. Help cook meals [/quote
At 7 you START letting them order for themselves? Why aren't they doing this as soon as they can talk and be understood? You want food, you ask for it.
Anonymous
08/05/2025 12:27
Subject: Anxious generation in practice
^ re sleepaway camp - I don't force them to go but I let them go starting at 8.
Anonymous
08/05/2025 12:26
Subject: Anxious generation in practice
I try to give my kids a lot of freedom, but they still don't have solo internet use (oldest is 13), so I'm not quite "free range."
Not sure if this is what you're getting at, but some things we do:
1) Sleepaway camp starting at 8 yo (I may send my younger next year at age 7 but just for 3 nights).
2) I have given my kids the shopping list for years (the older ones are 11 and 13) and they do the grocery shopping. They know to look at price per ounce and check sales.
3) Play outside - they are allowed free play outside (we don't have a fenced yard) from age 4-5 depending on maturity and have to stay within yelling distance. The caveat is we are in an area where there are lots of woods/acreage. I know they are not going to neighbors' houses and knocking on their doors and bothering them. You sometimes see parents trying to give their kids "independence" but then foisting them on other adults.
4) I let my 6 yo son ride his bike on our street as long as I am outside. It is a 2 mile long U shaped street with a 35 mph speed limit. He knows when he gets to the end of the U he has to come back and check with me.
5) Public transit- this is a little older, but starting at 10 I let my kids take the coach bus between our city and my mom's city (2 hours away). There are no stops in between. I would also let them fly solo - and I would let the 13 yo connect, because she has a cell phone, but DH is not there yet.
6) Tree climbing, fire pit. We have lots of good climbing trees- the kids have free rein to climb. They help from a young age make the fires in the fire pit (the older ones can do so independently, with permission/supervision). I also let them play with sticks.
Not sure if this is what you're getting at, but some things we do:
1) Sleepaway camp starting at 8 yo (I may send my younger next year at age 7 but just for 3 nights).
2) I have given my kids the shopping list for years (the older ones are 11 and 13) and they do the grocery shopping. They know to look at price per ounce and check sales.
3) Play outside - they are allowed free play outside (we don't have a fenced yard) from age 4-5 depending on maturity and have to stay within yelling distance. The caveat is we are in an area where there are lots of woods/acreage. I know they are not going to neighbors' houses and knocking on their doors and bothering them. You sometimes see parents trying to give their kids "independence" but then foisting them on other adults.
4) I let my 6 yo son ride his bike on our street as long as I am outside. It is a 2 mile long U shaped street with a 35 mph speed limit. He knows when he gets to the end of the U he has to come back and check with me.
5) Public transit- this is a little older, but starting at 10 I let my kids take the coach bus between our city and my mom's city (2 hours away). There are no stops in between. I would also let them fly solo - and I would let the 13 yo connect, because she has a cell phone, but DH is not there yet.
6) Tree climbing, fire pit. We have lots of good climbing trees- the kids have free rein to climb. They help from a young age make the fires in the fire pit (the older ones can do so independently, with permission/supervision). I also let them play with sticks.
Anonymous
08/05/2025 12:18
Subject: Anxious generation in practice
I’m reading the book now and am also curious. I’m a bit of a helicopter parent and always nervous about things like child abductions. I have a 10 year old and a 4 year old.
This summer I started letting my 10 year old stay at the pool “by themself” (to hang out with their friends). But it’s enclosed and I do t have to worry about creepers snatching them.
I have anxiety letting my kids wonder around the neighborhood on their own. Really don’t want to do that.
This summer I started letting my 10 year old stay at the pool “by themself” (to hang out with their friends). But it’s enclosed and I do t have to worry about creepers snatching them.
I have anxiety letting my kids wonder around the neighborhood on their own. Really don’t want to do that.
Anonymous
08/05/2025 12:17
Subject: Anxious generation in practice
At that age I would start with having them order their own drinks/meals/ice cream.
Politely and with eye contact.
Ask them to find an item in the store in a different aisle and bring it back to you.
Help cook meals
Politely and with eye contact.
Ask them to find an item in the store in a different aisle and bring it back to you.
Help cook meals
Anonymous
08/05/2025 12:14
Subject: Anxious generation in practice
I let him drive to school sometimes. You should see the other parents' faces when I get out to switch seats after dropping him off.
Anonymous
08/05/2025 12:10
Subject: Anxious generation in practice
Has anyone implemented more "real world" risk into their dc's life? What are some practical examples of how you've implemented the ideas from the book in terms of real world risk taking..? Looking for ideas on what I can use with my 7yo.