Anonymous wrote:They neglected me. They called me by my brother's name. I am a woman. They would feed me 1 meal a day.

Lol

They neglected me. They called me by my brother's name. I am a woman. They would feed me 1 meal a day.

There wasn’t a time I didn’t know. Her deep unhappiness was always in the air.

Anonymous wrote:My mom started to hate me when I turned 13 and started to socialize and make friends that were outside of my nerdy group. She used to tell me that it all went downhill from then. I played competitive sports and never saw her at my games. I moved away for college and she never visited me.

And you didn’t hate her at 13? Bullshit

Well that is a really touchy subject for people who didn't grow up with the proverbial white picket fence OP. I grew up with 8 kids in my family with a Catholic mom + Jewish dad. I think my dad resented having signed a form with the Catholic Church when he got married that any future kids would be raised Catholic. He didn't imagine there would be 8. We all raised ourselves. Tough being a kid operating as an adult.

They neglected and abused me, so....

My mom started to hate me when I turned 13 and started to socialize and make friends that were outside of my nerdy group. She used to tell me that it all went downhill from then. I played competitive sports and never saw her at my games. I moved away for college and she never visited me.

I could tell my parents prioritized work, 100%.

The strangest part about that is that I was a fully planned child.

Yet I would be forced to go to school sick, because neither wanted to miss work. I was sent to school with the chicken pox. My mom sent me, telling me to tell them it was mosquito bites if they asked! I remember sleeping in the counselor’s office in high school when I had the flu, because my parents weren’t available to pick me up. One time I threw up in the hallway in third grade and HAD to be picked up, and I recall feeling so guilty about it.

My parents never came to any school event ever. I was the kid searching out into the audience, disappointed as usual. In high school my mom came to one final performance, and then complained about it afterwards.

Logistics were always a problem. They complained constantly about who was going to watch me, or pick me up, or take me here or there, because they couldn’t miss work, HUGE assignment, whatever. I always felt like a burden and afterthought.

When I was about ten my mother told me that getting pregnant with my older sister and then having the rest of us ruined her life.

That’s probably when I figured it out that she didn’t like being a mom.

Now she posts on Facebook once a week about how nothing is better than being a mom and grandmother, but only sees my teenage kids once a year and doesn’t have any meaningful relationship with them.

No, because they were never around. The state, two sets of grandparents raised us or we were on our own.They got away with bare minimum parenting providing some food, shelter, clothing. Schools and daycare fed us 2-3x a day.
Even the doctor and dentist came to the school.
My sister and I both went to boarding school at 15. My parents only concentrated on work and fighting. They married too young, but decided to stick it out til I was 15.

I am from another country, the government paid my family to keep me as the sole child, and my dad has free housing as university department head. My mom didn’t have to drive, provide moral support, pay for anything substantial, I ate at the school cafe twice a day annd skipped breakfast, wore uniform year round. yet she still hates me.

When my mom tried leaving me at nursery and got angry when I cried and wanted to go home (age 2-3)

When they repeatedly tried to send me to boarding school

When they told me that they really weren't ready for kids until their 40s (they had me aged 24)

I could go on.

Anonymous wrote:I didn't really realize it until I was adult. Probably when I had my own kids and realized that they aren't an inconvenience to me -- I love taking care of them.

I didn’t realize how much of a positive impact my parents had on me until I had kids. But I also didn’t realize until then how much they made it obvious that I screwed up their lives and ruined their marriage. They never did get divorced though, which I’m really grateful for.

I never realized until after having kids that the obvious resentment they had for each other was why I didn’t want kids and ultimately waited until later in life than ideal to have them.

I didn't really realize it until I was adult. Probably when I had my own kids and realized that they aren't an inconvenience to me -- I love taking care of them.

It wasn’t you necessarily, but they just hated being a mom or dad- the maid, scheduler, babysitter, driver, constant moral support, financial provider?

What age did you notice? Hiw did you deal with it?