Anonymous wrote:I wish my mom didn't have a good relationship with my ex wife. Weirdly enough they do and every now and then they go eat together. My mom blames me for the divorce. My parents love my ex wife. Oh well.

Yeah right

Yes, I am still close to xH's parents and brother. Going out to eat with them tonight in fact. Married 17 years, divorced 12 and his family is hyper local (1 mile). He remarried quickly and I'm friendly with xH and his wife, who I like a lot more than I like him, actually. We all celebrate Txgiving together - me, ex, wife, our kid, his parents, AND 2nd wife's parents. Also some other holidays if everyone is in town. I vacation with them along with the kid sometimes.

I honestly can't stand my ex's personality or spending time with him, but I've obviously hidden that well. I love his family and always have. Everyone's paramount concern all along has been the mental health and well being of our kid and that makes it all easier.

I maintain close relationships with the family of my exH.

I have primary custody of our child and I'm still invited to all of the events, check in with his mom every couple weeks, etc. Maybe it's weird but I don't care. They've been my family for almost 20 years. Twenty years of holidays, birthdays, and milestones.

I won't date seriously or remarry so that's not an issue for me. If he forms a serious relationship I will re-evaluate my relationships with his fam, but until then I will carry on as I have been.

yes love my SIL

Anonymous wrote:Same situation, ex had an affair with his admin assistant. 10 years out from divorce, I still see his family regularly and keep in touch. Even went on a joint vacation with them a few years ago… not with my ex though. They’ve always liked me a bit more than him, and his whole family was pretty disapproving of his affair. When his parents fly out to visit, they even spend half their time with me at my place with the kids (who want very little to do with their dad and his affair partner).

+1 MIL and family despise the AP.

A PP.

I'm remembering now that my cousins who had a family farm where they all built suburban houses had a son of the family divorce. The in-law wife and grandkid continued to live in the family home on the property so he could be raised on the farm as intended. I believe she stayed there until the kid was grown. The blood son eventually remarried but I think he had to find his own off-premises house during his son's childhood.

I wish my mom didn't have a good relationship with my ex wife. Weirdly enough they do and every now and then they go eat together. My mom blames me for the divorce. My parents love my ex wife. Oh well.

My ex left me for his AP and married her quickly after. We were together over 25 years and had kids. His sister still refers to me as her SIL, and we talk several times a week. I also still talk to his mother frequently. I'm in a group chat with a handful of his family members (he's in it too).

I think they know he's an a-hole for everything that went down, but they are also his family, so they won't turn their backs on him. Also, they still consider me family because, well, we were family for a very long time.

It's been about 5 years now, and I have no idea how ex's new wife feels about any of this. I have zero contact with her, and my kids are older, so they have a separate relationship with their father that I don't have to facilitate.

No. But it can be done in a healthy way.

Remember they want to see their bloodline grandchildren as much as possible.

Have they ever told you their view of the divorce or their son’s ability to be a husband or father?

I wouldn’t pretend about that elephant in the room.

My husband’s XW had some great siblings and even though my husband has no relationship with his XW he still keeps in touch with her brother and two sisters. We all get together with them whenever we can. She was very unhappy about it when they first divorced but now that the kids are adults there’s nothing she can do about it. I think we see her siblings more than she does. They’re lovely people.

You will let go of those ex in laws once you find a new man.

I just went to a wedding where the bride's ex-sister-in-law was a bridesmaid. The groom also had an ex-in-law on his side.

Keep the relationships that are precious to you. Let them know how you feel. You are permanently connected through your kids.

Same situation, ex had an affair with his admin assistant. 10 years out from divorce, I still see his family regularly and keep in touch. Even went on a joint vacation with them a few years ago… not with my ex though. They’ve always liked me a bit more than him, and his whole family was pretty disapproving of his affair. When his parents fly out to visit, they even spend half their time with me at my place with the kids (who want very little to do with their dad and his affair partner).

I’m sorry OP that your husband did this. I suspect his family, especially his parents, will want a continued relationship with you and the kids. I would do everything in your power to avoid acrimony as you divorce. Keep it pleasant with your ex; that will make it easier on his family to keep close to you.

If you moved to live where your husband grew up and became very close to his family - like close friends with his siblings and warm, close bonds with his parents and aunts and uncles, how were your relationships with his family after the divorce? If the divorce is not anything you want, but it's because your spouse found someone else at work he wants to be with even though he has 3 children? His extended family helps a lot with the kids and just a great family. As much as ending the marriage hurts, I think i'll miss them more!