Anonymous wrote:OP maybe correct or he may not be.

I divorced 3 years ago and chose not to date during this time. I went back on the dating scene earlier this year and I am now dating someone who is single never married no kids. I never judged her for being 41 never married no kids. I am 47. If OP's experience is common, it's stupid because if anything he is more valuable than me. He has time which I don't. My girlfriend is now sarcastically saying things like "oh I want us to this this weekend but you have your kids...".

That does not reflect well on your GF. If she can’t handle your prioritization of your kids, she shouldn’t be dating a single dad. F that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did your date actually say she had concerns about your history?

Because it seems far more likely that she just didn't vibe with you for whatever reason.

OP here. Yes I'll agree with you we probably didn't vibe. But when I have been on dates before, I always feel like they think there is something wrong with me because I am single no kids never married at this age. I understand it's part of the vetting process, but it's frustrating nevertheless because there is nothing wrong me I just didn't want to settle in my 30s.

“Not wanting to settle in my 30s”—what does that mean? Were you expectations unrealistic?

OP here. But settle I meant getting married having kids. Poor choice of word. I don't have unrealistic expectations. I many not be the most outgoing bubbly guy, but I am an introvert either. I think my issue is that I don't have that spark that can captivate a woman's attention. And this why I was hoping OLD would work for me because with OLD at least the first initial contact is not face to face. Should I get a dating coach? I'm getting kind of desperate and I don't want to be alone anymore because I have a lot to offer. I get my sperm count/mobility checked yearly, I exercise and eat healthy. So I don't know.

Anonymous wrote:OP maybe correct or he may not be.

I divorced 3 years ago and chose not to date during this time. I went back on the dating scene earlier this year and I am now dating someone who is single never married no kids. I never judged her for being 41 never married no kids. I am 47. If OP's experience is common, it's stupid because if anything he is more valuable than me. He has time which I don't. My girlfriend is now sarcastically saying things like "oh I want us to this this weekend but you have your kids...".

Dude, she already resents your kids.

It’s one thing to say it as a matter of fact when planning logistics - ie, “You have the kids this weekend; let’s try that new restaurant next weekend when the kids are with their mom.”

But sarcasm? She’s already expressing contempt. DTMFB.

Anonymous wrote:A guy with kids who promises to start a second family with a new woman should be an automatic 🚩

That guy already is not pulling his weight with his first set of kids. You think he’s going to become more involved with a new kid added to the mix? No way.

Single women should be way more leery of a divorced guy with kids who says he wants more kids. But it doesn’t always work that way unfortunately.

-Married dad

+1. Men or women who want a second family at all are a huge red flag to me. It shows a selfishness that is incompatible with being a good person. It destroys your existing kids.

Anonymous wrote:A guy with kids who promises to start a second family with a new woman should be an automatic 🚩

That guy already is not pulling his weight with his first set of kids. You think he’s going to become more involved with a new kid added to the mix? No way.

Single women should be way more leery of a divorced guy with kids who says he wants more kids. But it doesn’t always work that way unfortunately.

-Married dad

…most divorced guys with kids in their late 40s don’t want more kids. Even the ones who end up having more kids typically don’t want them, it’s just that they met a younger woman and she talked him into having kids. But those dads typically are not involved much with the later kid(s), other than financially supporting them.

OP maybe correct or he may not be.

I divorced 3 years ago and chose not to date during this time. I went back on the dating scene earlier this year and I am now dating someone who is single never married no kids. I never judged her for being 41 never married no kids. I am 47. If OP's experience is common, it's stupid because if anything he is more valuable than me. He has time which I don't. My girlfriend is now sarcastically saying things like "oh I want us to this this weekend but you have your kids...".

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did your date actually say she had concerns about your history?

Because it seems far more likely that she just didn't vibe with you for whatever reason.

OP here. Yes I'll agree with you we probably didn't vibe. But when I have been on dates before, I always feel like they think there is something wrong with me because I am single no kids never married at this age. I understand it's part of the vetting process, but it's frustrating nevertheless because there is nothing wrong me I just didn't want to settle in my 30s.

“Not wanting to settle in my 30s”—what does that mean? Were you expectations unrealistic?

A guy with kids who promises to start a second family with a new woman should be an automatic 🚩

That guy already is not pulling his weight with his first set of kids. You think he’s going to become more involved with a new kid added to the mix? No way.

Single women should be way more leery of a divorced guy with kids who says he wants more kids. But it doesn’t always work that way unfortunately.

-Married dad

Anonymous wrote:Did your date actually say she had concerns about your history?

Because it seems far more likely that she just didn't vibe with you for whatever reason.

OP here. Yes I'll agree with you we probably didn't vibe. But when I have been on dates before, I always feel like they think there is something wrong with me because I am single no kids never married at this age. I understand it's part of the vetting process, but it's frustrating nevertheless because there is nothing wrong me I just didn't want to settle in my 30s.

Anonymous wrote:I would prefer a divorced man with no kids at 45+. No marriage at all by that age is a red flag for both men and women.

I agree with a few exceptions. If someone has had a long health struggle or difficult climb out of poverty, it’s more understandable.

Also, a relative of mine took care of her disabled mom from age 17 to 37. She was not only unmarried, but a virgin at that age.

Im a divorced woman w kids. I dont date men who dont have kids bc they dont understand what this stage of my life is like. I tried dating childless men when I first got divorced but they just didnt get where I was coming from sometimes. I would assume childless women wouldnt think that way.

Dating is rough for everyone - hang in there

I would prefer a divorced man with no kids at 45+. No marriage at all by that age is a red flag for both men and women.

Did your date actually say she had concerns about your history?

Because it seems far more likely that she just didn't vibe with you for whatever reason.

Many of the women are lying when they say that they would prefer a 46 years old man who has never been married and has no kids over a man the same age who is divorced with kids. I have not observed this in the real world, instead it's like there is something wrong with you for being this age and never had a wife and/or kids. Maybe I should have a had a kid out of wedlock in my 20s/30s lol it would have given me more "clout"

Sorry I am just venting this saturday morning. Went to the bar yesterday got rejected, been getting rejected on OLD. In the meantime this guy I know who is recently divorced came with us with his new date.

Luckily we have an anonymous forum we can vent because for us men we can't really share these kind of feelings among us.