This obviously depends on what you mean by “upper middle class lifestyle”. I live in NW and if you expect to pay for club memberships, nice vacations, frequent eating out, kids activities, camps etc on that salary that’s unlikely. But if you’re ok with forgoing that then you might be fine since your basics are already covered.

We live on 200k as a family of 3 in DC. It’s totally doable, especially if you don’t need to worry about mortgage or college (we are still saving for college, currently only have about 125k for our MSer, but mortgage is negligible and almost gone). That said, we are not big spenders - We don’t have a house cleaner, drive 10yo cars, etc. We do 1 international trip per year, the rest of our vacations are drivable. Kid does do camps and has braces though.

We prefer the pace of life and flexibility that living on one income allows. But if we wanted more UMC lifestyle conveniences we would probably need additional money. It might be too much of a change for you. I agree with the recommendations to cut back your spending before you make any decisions

You can’t BUY in NWDC on that kind of income. Rent, sure.

Download any personal finance app and import all your transactions for the past 6 months—no guessing needed. We have a similar income, a $2 million house with three teens/tween and spend $220k annually including two international trips each year. Keep in mind, we have extremely low healthcare with Tricare and live in a no income tax blue state.

I could, but where are the investment you could use til you get hang of it and budget properly.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I guess I’m having a tough time figuring out what our normalized budget looks like. We currently outsource A LOT to manage two working parents with young kids. With 1 parent at home a lot of those expenses would go away but not completely. We want to be able to pay for all the extras like bi-weekly cleaning, summer camps, orthodontics, maintenance on our $2.5mm house, travel internationally 1x per year ($20k) etc. We’ve been so focused on working and investing, that we don’t have a great handle on what a normalized budget looks like.

Suze orman used to answer questions like this by saying you need to play make believe for six months.

Literally live on the lower salary for 6-12 months and just save the difference. You’ll know at the end what it feels like.

That would be tight imo.

Can you take a sabbatical or leave of absence first to try out whether you would like it? I’ve been staying home a long time, and it took several years to get the hang of it- and I’m still not sure it was the right choice for me (definitely was the right choice for the family).

Secondly- start living like you are on one income now and save the difference. Or if that’s not possible run your actual numbers each month with how much less you would spend if you weren’t working.

If you figure you have 160 after taxes, take away 20k for property tax and another 20k for health care, another 20k for a trip, now you are down to 100k/month. That gives you about 8000 a month to spend - how does that work with your current budget?
You could also look at how much you put into 529s, retirement, and savings and subtract that, and see how much you spend each month.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I guess I’m having a tough time figuring out what our normalized budget looks like. We currently outsource A LOT to manage two working parents with young kids. With 1 parent at home a lot of those expenses would go away but not completely. We want to be able to pay for all the extras like bi-weekly cleaning, summer camps, orthodontics, maintenance on our $2.5mm house, travel internationally 1x per year ($20k) etc. We’ve been so focused on working and investing, that we don’t have a great handle on what a normalized budget looks like.

What costs would go away if you stopped working?

I think you'd spend almost as much now, TBH. I stayed home for a while with kids and while I was willing to cut way way back to make staying home with kids possible, it doesn't sound like that's your mindset.

Why not just stay home for a few years?

O0. Sadly, no. Have to budget for health insurance and $20k in property taxes annually.

Would you get health insurance through your spouse’s job?

OP here. I guess I’m having a tough time figuring out what our normalized budget looks like. We currently outsource A LOT to manage two working parents with young kids. With 1 parent at home a lot of those expenses would go away but not completely. We want to be able to pay for all the extras like bi-weekly cleaning, summer camps, orthodontics, maintenance on our $2.5mm house, travel internationally 1x per year ($20k) etc. We’ve been so focused on working and investing, that we don’t have a great handle on what a normalized budget looks like.

More than enough. But that isn’t really the question.

The question is would you be happy with what a $250k lifestyle would provide your family. For some people $100k would be more than enough. For other $2M would be tight.

Neither is wrong. It is a personal choice.

Two working parents in early 40s with 2 pre-school aged children in NWDC. I am tired of the grind and contemplating early retirement. If the big expenses like mortgage, retirement and 529s are fully funded, how much would you need to live comfortable upper middle class lifestyle in NWDC without employer provided healthcare?

Current HHI is >$500k but would drop to $250k if we lived on 1 income. No debt and kids attend public school. Is $250k annually enough to pay for food, health insurance, property taxes assuming no mortgage or need to save for retirement/college?