Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, is this more of an issue between you and Ex H? If you are earning 140K, you should be able to afford 1-2K prep class. I don't quite get it.

It isn’t just the money. It’s the fact that he wasn’t supportive of it which affected DC’s take on it. If Dad doesn’t think it’s important, than it must not be.

At the same time, Ex H is also encouraging DC to focus on highly selective schools and turning up his nose at schools that would be a fit with the stats we are currently working with. Like saying they aren’t worth the money and he might as well not go to college.

In that case, mommy prep works the best. Your DC can work with free online material on a schedule, and you can help him improve. That should provide the in person structure that is needed.

That might have worked, before RTO. The commute has sucked up every last bit of energy and time I have. At this point I’m counting my blessings that I’m employed and DC gets himself to work and sports practices.

No matter what way you cut it, having time or money to put towards this is a privilege. It’s a stupid game, and I’m partially angry at myself for even trying to play it and legitimatize this dumb system.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, is this more of an issue between you and Ex H? If you are earning 140K, you should be able to afford 1-2K prep class. I don't quite get it.

It isn’t just the money. It’s the fact that he wasn’t supportive of it which affected DC’s take on it. If Dad doesn’t think it’s important, than it must not be.

At the same time, Ex H is also encouraging DC to focus on highly selective schools and turning up his nose at schools that would be a fit with the stats we are currently working with. Like saying they aren’t worth the money and he might as well not go to college.

In that case, mommy prep works the best. Your DC can work with free online material on a schedule, and you can help him improve. That should provide the in person structure that is needed.

Your options are:
1) Create the structure that your son needs to access the free resources
2) Live with the options he has with the score he gets on his own
3) Pay for classes yourself

No matter which option you choose, spend your energy on your son's emotional process, including his father's black and white thinking on elite college or bust. You seem to be buying into that as well. That's the problem here, not his test scores or who pays for prep class.

Is your son a rising junior or senior?

So you are talking about the spring SAT in junior year?

What math class is your son in?

Some here recommend 1600.io.

You can probably require him to prep under your supervision and it might help. If you have sufficient education, you can grade his work (if pencil and paper) and analyze patterns of mistakes. That will speed up prep.

Anonymous wrote:You can find free prep classes online OP. I think you are being dramatic and want to blame ex DH for DCs “failure”. By the way 1320 is a perfectly normal score.

We know there are free prep materials online. It’s the structure of in person that is needed for some kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does your husband get to decide things?

Ex husband. OP wanted him to pay for it.

Is that wrong, that I would expect him to pay half? He makes more than I do.

Anonymous wrote:OP, is this more of an issue between you and Ex H? If you are earning 140K, you should be able to afford 1-2K prep class. I don't quite get it.

It isn’t just the money. It’s the fact that he wasn’t supportive of it which affected DC’s take on it. If Dad doesn’t think it’s important, than it must not be.

At the same time, Ex H is also encouraging DC to focus on highly selective schools and turning up his nose at schools that would be a fit with the stats we are currently working with. Like saying they aren’t worth the money and he might as well not go to college.

His scores and grades are well above average.

It won't work for every kid - we have one who refuses to do anything - but for our son we just assigned him a certain amount of online prep each day. For most kids, I think self study is going to be as good as a class; it's just a matter of whether they actually spend the time.

You can find free prep classes online OP. I think you are being dramatic and want to blame ex DH for DCs “failure”. By the way 1320 is a perfectly normal score.

Anonymous wrote:Why does your husband get to decide things?

Ex husband. OP wanted him to pay for it.

I’m quick to jump on men who suck, but honestly you may displacing anger here. This particular issue actually can be solved with the free khan academy tutorials. I know it’s less efficient than a 1-on-1 tutor and definitely requires more motivation by your DC, but tons of kids don’t have expensive prep (even though it feels like they all do).
There also inexpensive prep. You can do the larger classes or online groups. Maybe that’s the compromise?

Why does your husband get to decide things?

OP, is this more of an issue between you and Ex H? If you are earning 140K, you should be able to afford 1-2K prep class. I don't quite get it.

Ex H didn’t want to pay for SAT prep for our son because “he should just be able to do it himself online” which is technically true.
But in reality our teen has spent his time working and doing his sports and goofing around with friends the rest of the time. He got a 1320 in the spring which was surprisingly low even knowing he did not prep, as he usually scores well on standardized tests without prep, but SAT is different. I think he will improve it this fall based on knowing more what to expect but I doubt he’ll knock it out of the park.

His grades are good not spectacular (a couple of Bs freshman year when he was struggling emotionally with his dad being absent) so I was counting on a strong SAT score to increase his options. I underestimated how many kids around here prep, but without his dad on board I couldn’t swing it on my own financially.

My fear is we live in NoVa, I make 140k (but only after years of making far less or SAHM) and AOs assume we prep, so if he only gets up to a 1400 then he must be pretty mid. I don’t think his grades will cut it by going TO. I hate this whole system. End rant.