Therapy

When your child asks you questions you answer honestly no ifs ands or buts

Not everyone deserves the right to be in a child’s life

Anonymous wrote:and that really hurt them, did you find a way to help them come to peace with that?

We are really struggling here.

Focus on the family that is. Celebrate that. Listen to their feelings.

Definitely therapy. We have a family friend who sounds like was in similar circumstances as you. Around middle school, a lot of behaviors started to emerge that were completely tied to the abandonment he felt my dad and anger he felt towards mom for "keeping his dad away". Therapy helped a ton, as did maturing and being able to understand the situation better. She felt pretty guilty because the therapist said these issues are pretty common in circumstances like this n

Anonymous wrote:and that really hurt them, did you find a way to help them come to peace with that?

We are really struggling here.

Depends on the goals, but THERAPY, in general, for your child. Not for both of you together, and you don't get to interrogate the therapist about what your kid says.

In your other posts, you mention safety issues your child doesn't remember. You indicate that you feel that having a relationship is unsafe. Your child may or may not agree with you about that, and they deserve a space to talk about their relationships with their parents, their history of abuse, and their hopes for the future.

Does your ex WANT a relationship with your child? How long ago was the restraining order granted?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This will depend so much on the individuals, the reason, the kid’s age…? Really hard to generalize.

Kid is a teen. Parent lives far away and there is a restraining order that names kid. The unsafe behavior wasn’t just targeted at me, but also at kid, although kid doesn’t remember much of it.

not even weekly or monthly via Facetime?

No, the protective order specifies zero contact.

Did you exaggerate to get the protective order? do you believe it is unsafe for the child to even have phone calls? the protective order was something you obtained so if you don’t think it is unsafe to have phone calls, this is your decision.

I did not exaggerate and I do think it is unsafe for them to have phone calls.

Both because I worry about what would be said in the call, and because he could use it in court as evidence that we don’t think it’s needed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This will depend so much on the individuals, the reason, the kid’s age…? Really hard to generalize.

Kid is a teen. Parent lives far away and there is a restraining order that names kid. The unsafe behavior wasn’t just targeted at me, but also at kid, although kid doesn’t remember much of it.

not even weekly or monthly via Facetime?

No, the protective order specifies zero contact.

Did you exaggerate to get the protective order? do you believe it is unsafe for the child to even have phone calls? the protective order was something you obtained so if you don’t think it is unsafe to have phone calls, this is your decision.

Oh shut up .

Judges aren’t stupid they don’t do restraining orders like this because some exaggerated.

Courts require proof and it’s a very high bar in most states

When a judge assigns this kind of order they have done everything in their power to not remove rights from a biological parent

Not all parents deserve their rights clearly OPs dies not

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This will depend so much on the individuals, the reason, the kid’s age…? Really hard to generalize.

Kid is a teen. Parent lives far away and there is a restraining order that names kid. The unsafe behavior wasn’t just targeted at me, but also at kid, although kid doesn’t remember much of it.

not even weekly or monthly via Facetime?

What’s wrong with you!
OP said her X hurt her kid and you want FaceTime!
Shame on you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This will depend so much on the individuals, the reason, the kid’s age…? Really hard to generalize.

Kid is a teen. Parent lives far away and there is a restraining order that names kid. The unsafe behavior wasn’t just targeted at me, but also at kid, although kid doesn’t remember much of it.

not even weekly or monthly via Facetime?

No, the protective order specifies zero contact.

Did you exaggerate to get the protective order? do you believe it is unsafe for the child to even have phone calls? the protective order was something you obtained so if you don’t think it is unsafe to have phone calls, this is your decision.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This will depend so much on the individuals, the reason, the kid’s age…? Really hard to generalize.

Kid is a teen. Parent lives far away and there is a restraining order that names kid. The unsafe behavior wasn’t just targeted at me, but also at kid, although kid doesn’t remember much of it.

not even weekly or monthly via Facetime?

No, the protective order specifies zero contact.

Therapy

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This will depend so much on the individuals, the reason, the kid’s age…? Really hard to generalize.

Kid is a teen. Parent lives far away and there is a restraining order that names kid. The unsafe behavior wasn’t just targeted at me, but also at kid, although kid doesn’t remember much of it.

not even weekly or monthly via Facetime?

No, the protective order specifies zero contact.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This will depend so much on the individuals, the reason, the kid’s age…? Really hard to generalize.

Kid is a teen. Parent lives far away and there is a restraining order that names kid. The unsafe behavior wasn’t just targeted at me, but also at kid, although kid doesn’t remember much of it.

not even weekly or monthly via Facetime?

Anonymous wrote:This will depend so much on the individuals, the reason, the kid’s age…? Really hard to generalize.

Kid is a teen. Parent lives far away and there is a restraining order that names kid. The unsafe behavior wasn’t just targeted at me, but also at kid, although kid doesn’t remember much of it.

This will depend so much on the individuals, the reason, the kid’s age…? Really hard to generalize.

Depends on the reason.

and that really hurt them, did you find a way to help them come to peace with that?

We are really struggling here.