Maybe OCD?

Do you think it’s sensory seeking? Could it be reassurance seeking, anxiety, impulsivity? They would all be addressed in different ways.

What about a weighted vest?

Body sock, weighted blanket/lap pad/stuffed animal, resistance bands for her to give herself pressure.

Find an animal she can carry around.

Would something like a compressive undershirt or weighted lap blanket help at home?

One thing that worked for us was making DS always ask for a hug/hand hold/back rub- and then NOT always saying yes (our response was more like- yes, you can have a hug, but not right now; you can have a hug when we get outside/get to the car/get home). At first it was awkward- to deny your child a hug. But over time, him hearing “not right now but later” became tolerable and even acceptable to him. We then added in the “why I can’t right now” piece (hands full, not appropriate setting, etc).

We had to ask school personnel also to implement this system (they were more like to hug on demand or without asking), but we felt the need to ask before touching someone else was best addressed as quickly/early as possible.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this new or something you’ve always allowed? If it’s something you’ve always allowed why do you feel the need to make it stop now? Does she do this in all settings? How do you respond?

To be honest, she has always done it but it was more at home. The doing it in public part has gotten more extreme over the last year and now I just feel like I’m at the end of my rope and can’t take it anymore, anywhere.

I’d first try talking to her about it. Explain why it’s not so great to do in public. Then get her ideas for working on it. It’s going to come down to 2 things 1) you decrease/eliminate the attention she gets for it 2) you give her something else to do with her hands/ keep her occupied. At that age she can take a shopping list, help push the cart, put things in the cart, etc. I’d mostly just focus on what she SHOULD be doing when you’re out rather then what she shouldn’t be doing. Lots of praise for helping, no attention for touching and hugs in public. Make some short term goals like planning 1 meal and buying the ingredients for it. Give her a list and a pen to hold to keep her hands occupied.

If she can only hold it together for 20 minutes right now avoid places that take an hour. Smaller stores and more trips. You can do an incentive program but you want to draw the attention away from touching, so make the incentive tied to new behavior you want to see or behavior you want to increase rather than the absence of behavior (touching).

You need to give it zero attention, don’t say anything, just carry on and redirect. Try this for a few months and if you’re not seeing improvements then get a professional to evaluate. If you can also find ways to minimize this at home it should also help when you’re out. It’s going to take time and patience and you may never get it to zero but just keep working on building those other skills that can replace the touching.

Anonymous wrote:OP here, we do have her in OT (she just started a few weeks ago). To be honest I don’t think the person is amazing. Can you let me know, do most OTs take insurance? How would you go about finding a good one?

I'm the therapist from above. Honestly I think that OT is so important I would beg borrow and steal to get into a good one. Does your insurance reimburse out of network expenses? Most OTs do take insurance but good ones have waitlists because they're hard to find. To me it's worth pulling a kid from school for in order to get in with someone who knows what they're doing. Ask around with therapists and pediatricians and they will have suggestions for ones they like.

OP here, we do have her in OT (she just started a few weeks ago). To be honest I don’t think the person is amazing. Can you let me know, do most OTs take insurance? How would you go about finding a good one?

Anonymous wrote:Is this new or something you’ve always allowed? If it’s something you’ve always allowed why do you feel the need to make it stop now? Does she do this in all settings? How do you respond?

To be honest, she has always done it but it was more at home. The doing it in public part has gotten more extreme over the last year and now I just feel like I’m at the end of my rope and can’t take it anymore, anywhere.

She needs OT ASAP.

-child therapist

Have you offered her alternatives? Fidgets, fidget jewelry, textured clothes, etc.

Look up “sensory diet for sensory seekers”

Put her in OT.

Is this new or something you’ve always allowed? If it’s something you’ve always allowed why do you feel the need to make it stop now? Does she do this in all settings? How do you respond?

I have a 13 year old who was diagnosed recently, which in and of itself is rare and speaks to how high functioning she appears in many settings. What is literally killing me is her constant demands for touch - and I guess when I’m typing this it’s not just touch, it’s also attention in general, but the touch part of it seems the most frustrating to me right now.

She’s constantly demanding that I hold her hand, rub her back, etc in settings that are just not appropriate - like I’m pushing a heavy Costco cart through the store and she’s freaking out and grabbing at me to hold her hand. When I won’t hold her hand she’s trying to grab on to the cart. Then she’s trying to bump into her brother (so she can yell at him for bumping into HER). Then she’s back trying to get a hug. It is so extreme and nonstop that I actually think she may not realize she’s doing it.

Her attempts to engage people in conversation are the same way. It’s just like constant, nonstop and exhausting. Of course we talk to her (and touch her) plenty but there’s times when this can’t happen.

I lost my patience and started yelling at her in Costco today after what was probably the 15th time in a row with the touching. Then she’s asking for a hug to make up. I am going to lose my mind.

I really don’t want to lose my patience especially if she can’t control it, but it’s 24/7 and I am feeling very overwhelmed. Any tips?