She has anxiety. If the season hasn't even started yet, she's anxious. Probably from more pressure to win and putting in actual work. I wouldn't let her quit just yet. If this was X amount of months into the regular season and she said she wanted to quit, that's different.

Have her pay the penalty fee for quitting early, but let her quit.

I would say that as long as she can replace it with some other physical activity (doesn't have to be a team sport) then she can quit. If that means doing yoga or rock climbing three times a week, fine. If that means swimming for fun, and going to batting cages, fine.

I allow my kids to stop sports and activities whenever they like (but not quit in the middle of a season). I may talk the pros and cons through with them but ultimately it is their choice.

They do have to replace the time by doing something else productive (rather than sitting around looking at their phone etc) and I always make that clear. It can be another sport or activity, a PT job, or something else.

A lot of kids quit sports around this age.

Adding to my post, that my daughter played soccer from K to 7th grade, some of those years travel and then decided she was done. She was over it. The final year was miserable for all of us. It’s been over a year and sometimes I ask her if she misses it. She always says no. She’s picked up different interests. Sometimes they just move on.

Anonymous wrote:She hasn't started yet so I don't really consider it quitting. Let her do what she wants.

This. I’d have her stick out a commitment to a team once it starts but in this situation it hasn’t started. This is the age they start dropping certain sports. It’s good she decided before it started.

Anonymous wrote:Quit when they no longer enjoy it.

+1. I don't subscribe to the pushing, especially with sports. Sports should be fun, if she hates it she should quit and find her passion. I'd maybe feel slightly different if it were the end of the season and just gutting it out for a few more games, but it hasn't even started. Time to move on.

Thanks everyone. All good points.

Now is probably the best time quitting once the season starts is pretty selfish.
So let her quit and deal with the consequences that might look like her regretting it and you not trying to fix it .

It might look like her finding something else. And she does need to find something else.

Given the rapid change in emotions I do think you need to do some investigating and find the why. Also teach her the skill of sleeping on it. If you have a week ask her to take a week to think about what she wants to do

I would tell my kids they can quit anytime they want to, but they need to sign up for an alternate activity, doing nothing was not an option. They would decide not to quit.

She hasn't started yet so I don't really consider it quitting. Let her do what she wants.

I mean if the season hasn't started yet, this is the time to figure it out. Quitting mid-season is not ok. But before the season starts, I think her transition of being into it, and then a little unsure and then deciding to quit seems ok to me. At 14, she probably has a ton of happy/great associations so I'm sure it was confusing to sort through how she feels. But she probably also knows if it doesn't bring her joy anymore. And what you really don't want is to spend a year of high school nagging/bullying her into going to games and practices next season when she really doesn't want to. That takes a toll on your relationship.

Quit when they no longer enjoy it.

This is the time when a lot of kids drop their sports. But you shouldn’t have to guess if it’s due to anxiety, keep the lines of communication open so you can really suss out what’s going on.

Also—ask what she’s going to do with her time once she drops it. She should still be active. Make sure she has an exit plan if she’s serious about it. But no, I don’t think you keep pushing if they’re really miserable. To what end? My kids both dropped soccer after playing it for 10 years and it was hard, but ultimately they’re both happier doing their new activities.

When do you let your teenager quit? My 14 year old daughter use to love softball. She did All Stars through 12u. Has always been part of a travel team. Her current travel team is not that great but was asked to join a really good team starting in the fall. She was excited and asked me to sign the contract. This is all in the last week. Off and on though she has told me that she thinks she may quit, she thinks it is a waste of time, etc. Yesterday she decided that she wants to stop playing completely; she hates it she says. She is a pitcher so I don't know if she just does not like the pressure any more, if something is going on with the new team (she has been practicing with them and guest playing when she can), or if she just has decided she doesn't like it. Part of me wants to say, you made a commitment, you have to be part of the team but the season has not even started. Her attitude is really negative and I can't imagine how she will be to the team. That is negative energy that is not fair to anyone. I think I will have to pay something to get out of the contract...and yes, while it sucks, it's not like I would have to pay the full amount.

I'm just wondering from a parenting standpoint, when is it OK to say yes, you can quit, and when I should make this a life lesson on commitment.