Have you tried calling a hot line? I agree you need to figure out your priorities. Don’t spend money on boarding your dog. Leave it or surrender it or get your daughter out of there at least while you make your plans. I would try a hot line first.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So.e shelters let you bring your pet

In the morning I’m going to see if the dog’s boarding place has any openings for the week to buy some time so I can at least get DD to a friend’s and me to a hotel or something like that.

If you have the money for it, all three of you can stay in a hotel together (you, DD, and dog).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So.e shelters let you bring your pet

In the morning I’m going to see if the dog’s boarding place has any openings for the week to buy some time so I can at least get DD to a friend’s and me to a hotel or something like that.

Sorry you are going through this, OP. You and your daughter deserve better. You need to let the dog go. Give it to a shelter. You indicated you don't have enough liquidity. You cannot afford to board the dog. Every penny should go towards you and your daughter's safety.

Anonymous wrote:So.e shelters let you bring your pet

In the morning I’m going to see if the dog’s boarding place has any openings for the week to buy some time so I can at least get DD to a friend’s and me to a hotel or something like that.

Anonymous wrote:This is a perfect example of how it is always better to separate/divorce when a marriage is bad - - most especially when children live in the home.

Because sooner or later things affect the kids.
Always.

OP >> plz do not be so hard on yourself. ❤️‍🩹
You are not a bad Mom.
It is entirely your husband’s fault that your husband treated your daughter this way!

Is there any way that you can get him to leave the home so you & your DD can resume life w/o his abuse??

I don’t think I can get him to leave the house. I have wanted to separate or divorce for a long time but until recently my DD was not old enough that I could trust that she would be fed/taken to school/etc. if she was with him with shared custody. She is still not old enough to cook for herself or walk/bike to school and now I feel even more worried because he has dropped whatever internal rule he had for himself about not turning on her.

I’m wracking my brain trying to figure out where to go and where I can get DD to. Everyone we know locally is traveling but even if they weren’t, we aren’t close enough that it would feel ok to share this. I know I would care for any acquaintance that came to me in this situation but I feel ashamed being on the other side of it. I’ve really messed up.

Good luck op I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this

This is a perfect example of how it is always better to separate/divorce when a marriage is bad - - most especially when children live in the home.

Because sooner or later things affect the kids.
Always.

OP >> plz do not be so hard on yourself. ❤️‍🩹
You are not a bad Mom.
It is entirely your husband’s fault that your husband treated your daughter this way!

Is there any way that you can get him to leave the home so you & your DD can resume life w/o his abuse??

Yes, this is what they do.

Is there anywhere you can go to get a breather? Take DD on a trip for awhile, or to visit out of town friends or family etc?

If not, could you at least send DD somewhere (to keep her away from him for awhile) while you try to get things figured out? Since it is summertime? Sleep away camp, to visit a friend, etc?

While making it seem legitimate and not like you are “leaving” (and so as to not raise any alarm bells).

So.e shelters let you bring your pet

I would call a DV hotline. Are you an immigrant?

You should try a domestic violence hotline.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Unacceptable
Do you have family ? If so make your way to wherever they are.

I have a sibling but not in the continental U.S.

No other living relatives.

(Would go to sibling but not sure how to get the dog there and need dog to be safe, too)

Anonymous wrote:
Unacceptable
Do you have family ? If so make your way to wherever they are.

I have a sibling but not in the continental U.S.

No other living relatives.

Unacceptable
Do you have family ? If so make your way to wherever they are.

DH is mentally ill and refuses to seek treatment and blames everyone else for his problems. He can be verbally abusive and unpredictable, but only towards me. Until today.

I’ve been holding my breath hoping I could extract us from our house and this marriage before he ever turned on her, but today it happened. DH took a treat DD had been saving that he promised not to eat. The promise was made because he’s stolen and eaten her treats before. She even made a little sign for it and set it aside.

When she noticed it was gone, she asked if he ate it. And he started screaming saying the f word and a bunch of stuff about how it wasn’t his fault. He claimed he was screaming at me and I made him scream at me and all the while DD was there and so she was basically getting screamed at. I stepped between them and told him to stop, to apologize, and pleaded with him to reset and repair what he had just did.

And then he started screaming louder and trying to get past me.

I had to walk DD and the dog out of the room. She’s going to a sleepover so at least she will be out of this volatile hellhole I’ve I stuck her in so I had to pull her together and calm her down, but at least she will be safe.

I have money for day to day expenses for a bit but not enough liquidity to rent an apartment and I don’t have a friend in town who is close enough who I could crash with with a dog in tow.

I’m shattered and so ashamed that I let him get to DD before I could get us out.

I am the worst mom.