The whole summer before my D23 went off to school, I was super emotional and kept stress buying dorm stuff for him. The actual drop off, however, went fine- I was so happy to see him excited about meeting new people and connecting with kids he'd met during his admitted student day. My husband and I booked a nice hotel in Newport because it was our anniversary weekend, and that gave me something else to focus on. It's definitely bittersweet, but knowing that your kid is happy makes the actual drop off a lot less painful. If you can roll in a little getaway weekend for yourself, that makes it even better!

Like so many things in life, it’s bittersweet

Huge OP. This was me last year. Luckily my DC spent some time fouling the net - nothing too terrible, but jsut enough for me to start thinknig boy it sure will be peaceful when eldest child is not here.

Turns out DC was quite homesick, luckily was only 3.5 hrs away, and either we went there a couple of times (for football in the fall), or once a month they came home.

One of the things that really worked for me was throwing myself into work more - not having pickups or drive me here and there was SO FREEING especially on weeknights. I worked late some nights, or went and did something after woerk with friends. I also picked up a couple of hobbies.

I had been lgiht friends with some other moms with kids also going to college. We actually became closer and got together every 6 weeks or so, and we pulled together themed care packages to mail. There were 5 of us, and so we'd set a theme, like orange, and we'd each buy 5 items of a couple of different things - candy in an orange package, fake pumpkins, notepads or sticky notes, silly things like cheap sunglasses, etc and then get together and make up 5 care packages. And we'd all text what we were buying and also share info about our kids - it was really nice.

My youngest is leaving in 4 weeks. Summer was a big change for me with the end of school and sports and all that meant. I had all of this new found time. As soon as school activities and sports ended, spouse and I started going back to doing the things we liked before kids. We are going to the gym every day and traveling every weekend, usually without kids, but this weekend she is going. We started planning big trips for off season since we are no longer bound by the school schedule. We are getting work done on our house to prepare for sale in a few years if we decide to do that. I am embracing hobbies like I haven't in a long time.

I am still going to miss her terribly, but I am determined to enjoy this next season of our lives while we have the means and our health. But doing this is very intentional on our parts.

OP, I was you one year ago. Our only child, with whom we have spent lots of time, was getting ready to leave for college and I was dreading it. Even though we had also always maintained outside friendships and a few activities, most of our lives revolved around her and our time together as a family. I won’t lie— I miss her company when she’s at school, but it’s not as bad as I was afraid it would be. She’s growing and maturing, of course, but she’s not a different person when we visit or when she comes home. We’ve been able to slip back into the family rhythms pretty easily, all while enjoying the changes we see in her.

You will have to develop some new routines now and get used to seeing your kid less, but it’s not like they’re moving out for good just yet. This is a process and this is just the first step. Sending hugs from one who has been there!

Anonymous wrote:You celebrate your newfound freedom. You have relations with your spouse all over the house. You go to concerts and theatre and picnics and date your spouse again. You have a life that does not include shuttling, feeding, watching your child, and you enjoy it.

You gave them roots so they can spread their wings and fly - be grateful you've done well and they are starting to launch.

They'll be back Thabksgiving, winter break, etc.

Less and less, but they'll be happy and that's what is more important. Find a hobby and you can maybe blossom anew.

You celebrate your newfound freedom. You have relations with your spouse all over the house. You go to concerts and theatre and picnics and date your spouse again. You have a life that does not include shuttling, feeding, watching your child, and you enjoy it.

You gave them roots so they can spread their wings and fly - be grateful you've done well and they are starting to launch.

They'll be back Thabksgiving, winter break, etc.

OP, it’ll be ok. My rising college sophomore is home this summer, and it is just fantastic. None of the tensions that came with the ages 14-16. She is more grown now in a great way, doesn’t want to do stupid things that used to lead to all the battling, and now it’s just great to be together. We feel hopeful too that Washington DC is the right place to spend summers for any kid interested in policy, and the like. So we’ll likely have her here next summer too.

Anonymous wrote:I've read them in the past and now I'm here. And am so incredibly sad and anxious that college is a month away and I'll be an empty nester. I am super excited for DC too. (I'm also not working right thx to DOGE so have a lot of time on my hands to dwell on it).t

More than DC actually leaving -though I'll miss DC terribly- it's sort of what it represents: end of childhood, end of our family unit as we know it, DC separating from us, nothing for me to look fw to but getting old, etc. And before I'm accused of not cutting the apron strings, I've always worked, traveled, done things with friends, etc. But, I'm never more happy when I'm home with my family and everyone is tucked in and safe.

How did you deal?

There's an eloquence to this post that I really appreciate. This line in particular struck a chord: "I'm never more happy when I'm home with my family and everyone is tucked in and safe." Maybe my wife is now a DCUM poster!

For the original poster: You think them going away is hard? Wait 'til they come back in December 2025 with their newfound independence. As Joseph Conrad once wrote, "The horror! The horror!"

I wondered same if this is only child. I think the transition to empty nest is a lot more stark with one kid.

I agree with other poster who said the real transition is when they get a real job post-graduation. College kids are home a lot.

Hang in there OP!! There is life on the other side. You will thrive.

OP is this your only kid? We were pretty torn up when our oldest went off to college, but we got over it quickly — probably because we had others at home. After our oldest there wasn’t any drama or tears or sadness at all, and when our youngest went off we were fine being empty nesters. Why? Because by the time our youngest went off to college, our oldest had already long been out of college and we were seeing plenty of her. So you sort of realize it’s not that big of a deal. Sure, it’s different, but it’s fine. Better in many ways, in fact.

Anonymous wrote:Honestly the first year wasn't so bad. They are only at school for two four month segments, with a break in between.

It's when they move to a 12 month apartment that you really start to lose them a bit.

You're not losing them. They're living their lives! It's just time for you to step back and think about fading into the background. You should feel joy.

Honestly the first year wasn't so bad. They are only at school for two four month segments, with a break in between.

It's when they move to a 12 month apartment that you really start to lose them a bit.

Anonymous wrote:I've read them in the past and now I'm here. And am so incredibly sad and anxious that college is a month away and I'll be an empty nester. I am super excited for DC too. (I'm also not working right thx to DOGE so have a lot of time on my hands to dwell on it).t

More than DC actually leaving -though I'll miss DC terribly- it's sort of what it represents: end of childhood, end of our family unit as we know it, DC separating from us, nothing for me to look fw to but getting old, etc. And before I'm accused of not cutting the apron strings, I've always worked, traveled, done things with friends, etc. But, I'm never more happy when I'm home with my family and everyone is tucked in and safe.

How did you deal?

OP, I am so with you and those are my exact same thoughts - the end of childhood and family unit as we know it. I am tearing up just writing it and I have been a teary mess about it for months.

I've read them in the past and now I'm here. And am so incredibly sad and anxious that college is a month away and I'll be an empty nester. I am super excited for DC too. (I'm also not working right thx to DOGE so have a lot of time on my hands to dwell on it).t

More than DC actually leaving -though I'll miss DC terribly- it's sort of what it represents: end of childhood, end of our family unit as we know it, DC separating from us, nothing for me to look fw to but getting old, etc. And before I'm accused of not cutting the apron strings, I've always worked, traveled, done things with friends, etc. But, I'm never more happy when I'm home with my family and everyone is tucked in and safe.

How did you deal?