My mom was one. You really do get beaten down until it just becomes something that's normal and you accept. It wasn't until college that I really realized how much we were all so submissive to her and walked in egg shells. It was 100% a control and anxiety thing for her.

And for as much as she was a control freak, nagging, emotionally manipulative person....on the outside she was a perfect SAHM. Our house was in immaculate shape. She volunteered for all these activities. My brother and I were top students, athletes, and involved in various things in the community. At home, I would get yelled at for not putting my clothes away correctly, but her friends would marvel about how they could never get their teen daughters to keep their rooms so clean.

So, I don't think my dad particularly liked that my mom was that way. But 1. We were beaten down by her and 2. I think he enjoyed parts of the lifestyle that her behavior provided.

I'm in my early 40s now and my relationship with my mom has been strained since I left the house at 18. My brother is still very close with her, whereas I had trouble getting past the emotionally manipulative parts. When my dad passed a few years ago, she got therapy and went on meds. The control freak shrew part that I grew up with is nearly gone. Now she tells my brother and I how much she regrets how she behaved during our childhood.

He can't defend himself because she runs the household and he can't, so she's the boss.

Anonymous wrote:There's nothing worse than a shrew. I love my wife, but she can be one. And I think my siblings think she's one and say it behind my back.

Nothing worse than a husband with selective deafness/blindness when it comes to the kids and house.

It's abuse and he's socially trapped.

Anonymous wrote:My friend could have been called a shrew I suppose. Her SIL actually took me aside once to complain to me how she nags him.

But once we were all over and she told him something very specific about a home project "don't move those things there because a, b, c" then she went to get us all coffee. She came back and he was moving the things. She screamed and physically couldn't stop him as she was holding a tray. SIL and I were sitting there watching him stare right through her and not listen to her. That is when the SIL got it. She didn't start with the nag, she wasn't heard.

A decade later there is non of that, he improved his listening skills and she shifted a bit how she talked to him.

Similar situation here, except without any improvement. Beyond frustrating.

There's nothing worse than a shrew. I love my wife, but she can be one. And I think my siblings think she's one and say it behind my back.

Anonymous wrote:My friend could have been called a shrew I suppose. Her SIL actually took me aside once to complain to me how she nags him.

But once we were all over and she told him something very specific about a home project "don't move those things there because a, b, c" then she went to get us all coffee. She came back and he was moving the things. She screamed and physically couldn't stop him as she was holding a tray. SIL and I were sitting there watching him stare right through her and not listen to her. That is when the SIL got it. She didn't start with the nag, she wasn't heard.

A decade later there is non of that, he improved his listening skills and she shifted a bit how she talked to him.

Or he just learned to tune her out because of all the nagging.

My friend could have been called a shrew I suppose. Her SIL actually took me aside once to complain to me how she nags him.

But once we were all over and she told him something very specific about a home project "don't move those things there because a, b, c" then she went to get us all coffee. She came back and he was moving the things. She screamed and physically couldn't stop him as she was holding a tray. SIL and I were sitting there watching him stare right through her and not listen to her. That is when the SIL got it. She didn't start with the nag, she wasn't heard.

A decade later there is non of that, he improved his listening skills and she shifted a bit how she talked to him.

Yeah.. Nope.

My husband is the screaming shrew in our house, teen sons and I just roll our eyes at the baby tantrums.

Anonymous wrote:He’s putting up with it because she is probably a screamer in the bedroom.

+1

He likes to be submissive

So many couples with this dynamic in the DMV. I don't get it.

My mother in law is one of those women. Everything is my FIL’s fault. If she spills her drink she yells at him, even if he is in the other room. And thats just a simple example.

My wife used to complain about this behavior all the time and has now morphed into the exact same and maybe worse. It will likely be the cause of our marriage ending, as I do not have the bandwidth to accept being treated like this.

He’s putting up with it because she is probably a screamer in the bedroom.

I have a friend who is a shrew-constantly screaming and nagging her husband.

I can’t stand it but I think her husband kind of gets off on it.

She will scream at him anywhere-at home in front is us, at our house, restaurants.