Haven't had this problem.

things are looking up for now, I'd not use the word "successful" yet.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is kind of a weird question, and I’m thankful for this anonymous forum.

My life and lifestyle have changed substantially in the last several years. I went from down-and-out (welfare, various financial struggles) to earning a very comfortable salary and marrying someone making an even more comfortable salary: together, we’re doing well. (I am by no means wealthy, and still have my struggles, but can afford a much nicer car, house, vacations etc.)

It’s just hard to stay grounded sometimes and I know some of my friends are dealing with their own issues. How can I take this change in lifestyle more in stride? Thanks.

Do not brag or lord it over your friends. You have been lucky but life can turn on a dime.

I’m very conscious of that. I was broke until I was 35! (Almost 40 now.) Definitely do not “lord it over my friends” (what would that even look like?) but am finding it harder to relate as our lifestyles diverge.

Think about what you have in common with your friends. Hopefully your connection has nothing to do with socioeconomic status. Focus on what made you friends in the first place and what keeps you all interested in maintaining it. The stuff that really matters.

Not trying to be snarky OP - - but what makes it hard to be grounded?
Just a genuine, curious question…..

Do you feel negatively influenced by your family + friends??

I would just remember where you once were in life ➕ remember how bad you felt when others were looking down on you or how bad it felt to go w/out.

Other than that I cannot imagine what else would work.

Good luck!

It's fine tto make additional friends. Don't drop the old but they may eventually drift away.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is kind of a weird question, and I’m thankful for this anonymous forum.

My life and lifestyle have changed substantially in the last several years. I went from down-and-out (welfare, various financial struggles) to earning a very comfortable salary and marrying someone making an even more comfortable salary: together, we’re doing well. (I am by no means wealthy, and still have my struggles, but can afford a much nicer car, house, vacations etc.)

It’s just hard to stay grounded sometimes and I know some of my friends are dealing with their own issues. How can I take this change in lifestyle more in stride? Thanks.

Do not brag or lord it over your friends. You have been lucky but life can turn on a dime.

I’m very conscious of that. I was broke until I was 35! (Almost 40 now.) Definitely do not “lord it over my friends” (what would that even look like?) but am finding it harder to relate as our lifestyles diverge.

Anonymous wrote:This is kind of a weird question, and I’m thankful for this anonymous forum.

My life and lifestyle have changed substantially in the last several years. I went from down-and-out (welfare, various financial struggles) to earning a very comfortable salary and marrying someone making an even more comfortable salary: together, we’re doing well. (I am by no means wealthy, and still have my struggles, but can afford a much nicer car, house, vacations etc.)

It’s just hard to stay grounded sometimes and I know some of my friends are dealing with their own issues. How can I take this change in lifestyle more in stride? Thanks.

Do not brag or lord it over your friends. You have been lucky but life can turn on a dime.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Easy come easy go.

There has definitely not been anything easy about the trajectory to this point, and I'm paranoid about losing everything (although this is unlikely).

I feel like the "best of times" in Charles Dickens. It's just weird to go from being the poor friend to being the rich friend, and I haven't quite moved into equally well-off circles (which is fine by me). Just a jarring change in vantage point. Neither good nor bad, just different.

"easy come" part is not referring to that. PP meant how quickly things turned around and how easily things can turn back again

- np

I have a close friend who I’ve known since we were both broke and she made it very big. At one point she moved to my city and neighborhood. Her job was very social and she became social in a way she hadn’t in her regular life and basically dropped all of her old friends to make time for big group socializing with her colleagues/peers/similarly rich friends.

Although we lived in the same general neighborhood, it had normal vs fancy areas. People I’d never interacted with from the fancy side came out of the woodwork to be her friend and that became her circle. Rich and powerful people have a way of finding each other.

I guess if you want to stay true to who you are now, be careful about getting sucked into socializing/spending that takes you away from that. Or find a way to expand your life without cutting off old parts of it?

I don’t know if it’s totally possible. My friend went from group share house trips to traveling by PJ to private resorts. Even if I could afford to go, these aren’t places that take bookings from the general public. She wasn’t interested in hanging out in the way we used to and I didn’t full blame her because her new life was very appealing and she had worked hard for it.

If you genuinely want to stay humble, you’ll have to make tradeoffs between your old life and your new one.

Anonymous wrote:Easy come easy go.

There has definitely not been anything easy about the trajectory to this point, and I'm paranoid about losing everything (although this is unlikely).

I feel like the "best of times" in Charles Dickens. It's just weird to go from being the poor friend to being the rich friend, and I haven't quite moved into equally well-off circles (which is fine by me). Just a jarring change in vantage point. Neither good nor bad, just different.

Easy come easy go.

Happened to me, but I never wanted a nicer car, house, or even a vacation.
I was abused while broke. Money would have fixed it. Hard to think about a house, car, and vacations when getting away from abuse is #1.
I did go for early retirement though the minute money came in and left everyone behind.
Gratitude comes from being able to escape toxic environment. It's more important than material things. Hopefully you didn't go through enough and can enjoy the finer things in life. They would remind me of the stark contrast of my life then and now.
I wish it had never been to bad and good, but somewhere in the middle.

Fwiw you do sound grounded to me.

You are the perfect person to benefit from a gratitude journal. Also, give back to the community from which you came. Spend time volunteering in a food bank, donate clothes to Dress for Success, stuff like that.

This is kind of a weird question, and I’m thankful for this anonymous forum.

My life and lifestyle have changed substantially in the last several years. I went from down-and-out (welfare, various financial struggles) to earning a very comfortable salary and marrying someone making an even more comfortable salary: together, we’re doing well. (I am by no means wealthy, and still have my struggles, but can afford a much nicer car, house, vacations etc.)

It’s just hard to stay grounded sometimes and I know some of my friends are dealing with their own issues. How can I take this change in lifestyle more in stride? Thanks.