Anonymous wrote:I agree she shouldn’t have left the girls alone without asking you, but I don’t think it’s a reason to go nuclear. If it’s a good friend of dd and you have a good relationship with the mom, I would just say something like “would you mind giving me a heads up if you’re going to need to be out, the kids can play at my house instead.” You can be self-deprecating about being overprotective. I bet she apologizes.

Yes, I agree with this. I noticed my neighbor would leave when my kid was invited over there and my daughter confirmed she left them alone. I just said to let me know so I could keep an eye out. In your case she could just let you know so you could pick up earlier.

Since you know the mom really well, and the girls have frequent play dates/sleepovers, I would say something. “When I picked DD up, she said the girls were home alone bc you went to the gym. I’m really uncomfortable with this at their age and would prefer to host from now on if you or DH won’t be there at any point.”

You’re going to get a lot of questions from DD and the mom if you suddenly change to only allowing playdates at your house w/ no explanation. Also, it’s okay to state your boundaries on comfort level for your children, no need to dance around this stuff or remain silent.

I agree she shouldn’t have left the girls alone without asking you, but I don’t think it’s a reason to go nuclear. If it’s a good friend of dd and you have a good relationship with the mom, I would just say something like “would you mind giving me a heads up if you’re going to need to be out, the kids can play at my house instead.” You can be self-deprecating about being overprotective. I bet she apologizes.

I left my kid at 9 but not to go to the gym and certainly not if friends were there.
Even now, DD is 13, if a friend is coming over and I might be out for some of the time I let the parent know.
Not sure what you can really say though other than to let you know if she needs to leave and tbat her kid is welcome at your house.

Did the mom not know you were coming?
No sitter if older sibling in the house? grandma?

Anonymous wrote:I would ask the mother why the girls were left alone and remind her that it’s not legal.

It’s legal in Maryland. Not sure where you live.
I leave my 9 year old home alone but I would never do it with another child in the house unless I asked.

Yes, I would say something.

I would ask the mother why the girls were left alone and remind her that it’s not legal.

And this wasn’t a misunderstanding, like mom was just in their home gym? This is strange.

Think it's okay for a 9 yo to be home alone, agree with a friend not okay. Would just have socializing at my house moving forward

Anonymous wrote:There’s no dad in the picture who was home? No supervision at all?

The dad was at work.

There’s no dad in the picture who was home? No supervision at all?

Not acceptable.

Absolutely say something.

Never again leave your kid alone with this mother.

Wouldn’t say anything, but do not allow your kid over there again. She is to be at your house or under your supervision only. That will speak volumes.

Yeah I would say something. Whether you want that something to be a confrontation initiated by you or a simple "the girls can only sleepover at our house from now on so that I can feel comfortable in the supervision" the next time she's invited to spend the night is up to you.

My 9yr old is good friends with “R” through gymnastics. She has spent the night several times and was invited to spend the night at her house. I know the mom really well as the girls have been competing together for 3 years. I went to pick up at 10am and the girls were by theirselves. “R” said her mom and just left to go the gym. We obviously won’t be doing anymore sleepovers there but would you say anything to the mom. I would never leave 9yr old girls at home alone, but she didn’t even let me know!