I have NOT seen this and have STEM and humanities friends.

But I have noticed that many foreign born STEM women complain a lot about poor communication in their relationships. Some of these women married young and some didn't.

No. English major. Married at 32 in 2009.

With the people I know in my friend group/coworkers, it's pretty varied when people have gotten married. Pretty similar to the non STEM people I know, maybe skewing slightly older.
For the older ones reasons have been :
1. Super focused on school and no time for dating
2. Very high standards
3. Wanted to achieve certain things and not have to compromise for anyone else (a couple of my friends who are highly specialized and had to move around a lot to get there)
4. Just a bit socially awkward and took a little longer to be comfortable putting themselves out there and meeting people.

I think STEM people (men and women) are very flexible more than we give them credit for. And their marriages tend be long and stable. My parents (both math Phds) just celebrated their 50th anniversary. They look so cute together,always holding hands, saying they love each other etc. I can't even remember a time I saw them arguing.

So I think STEM women have a lot of qualities that men like. Personally I have noticed that STEM women that are very smart are far less condescending toward others compared to women in the social sciences and humanities. When I was single many women here in DC looked down on the college I went to, even though I graduated summa cum laud with an engineering physics degree. A lot of them were lawyers, marketing executives etc.

Anonymous wrote:MIT Scientist here - I know you don't want my opinion lol!

I saw friends:
Marry in college (very few)
Right after college (very few)
In grad school (many)
Post grad school (many)
Not so far (early 40s)

I'd say 25% or so of my female friends aren't married

I think what complicates marriage for Ivy league or STEM is moving one or two times for advanced degrees and jobs. If you need to move that relationship is going with you or not. Only once did I have a friend move without him and he proposed to keep her.

Ivy League STEM Ph.D. agree 100 percent. I married the person I was with before grad school but we both were able to do grad school in the same area and were both happy with that. Long distance relationships around me did not always (or often) survive the length and intensity of a Ph.D.

MIT Scientist here - I know you don't want my opinion lol!

I saw friends:
Marry in college (very few)
Right after college (very few)
In grad school (many)
Post grad school (many)
Not so far (early 40s)

I'd say 25% or so of my female friends aren't married

I think what complicates marriage for Ivy league or STEM is moving one or two times for advanced degrees and jobs. If you need to move that relationship is going with you or not. Only once did I have a friend move without him and he proposed to keep her.

My daughter 1st year med school is getting married next month. Her boyfriend is 25 and is a biomedical engineer. They were biomedical engineering major. Luckily they are both in California.

All my doctor and scientist friends got married early because they knew they'd be in school forever so they'd better get it done. Most of my humanities friends never married. I'm a married humanities person and my wedding was relatively late.

My daughter is a Math major (like I was) and she is so laser focused on school that she isn't even into dating. When that time comes she will be fine. She is incredibly smart and very well rounded. She is majoring in drama as well and minoring in dance. She is a catch. I really hope she doesn't end up with a loser just for the sake of being with someone.

My STEM dd always has a boyfriend. But she also has a strong humanities background.

Female STEM major here, and no.

Higher intelligence = higher standards = fewer men

Anonymous wrote:No, I got married at 23 while in grad school, biology department. My same-aged colleague got married pretty much at the same time to his girlfriend who was in the physics department. I knew two other STEM colleagues who got married while in grad school.

^ all white Americans, except me, white-Asian.

No, I got married at 23 while in grad school, biology department. My same-aged colleague got married pretty much at the same time to his girlfriend who was in the physics department. I knew two other STEM colleagues who got married while in grad school.

I’ve noticed my friends who are MD’s, scientists, majored in stem are single or have to compromise a lot more than women who studied humanities.

Thoughts?

And no I’m not comparing some MIT alum to sec marketing woman…

…I mean from relatively same school tier…

I noticed this when I went back to my 15th year college reunion this summer.

There are some factors that make it not exactly a like for like comparison (my stem friends are more likely to be from middle class and non-white/ethnic white backgrounds)

Have you noticed this as well?