Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry OP. The good news is your kids will be out of the house in 4 years, so you don't have to worry as much about 50/50 custody that those of us with younger kids have to worry about.

Advice would really depend on your respective financial situations and how pleasant he is to live with. But honestly, without kids in the picture, why not just get out. Leave this loser.

My younger one is still home for another 4 years!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry to hear that. Please seek therapy. He might be a scumbag or it could be because you got fat and/or were sexless. Therapy will help hash this out.

If people followed “Pence rule”, they wouldn’t find themselves in this situation.

Op here: He has refused therapy but I have been in it. I am actually much more attractive even if a few years older. He is the one who didn’t want sex anymore..

I find this hard to believe. You are not telling the whole story

Looks like OP triggered a cheater.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry to hear that. Please seek therapy. He might be a scumbag or it could be because you got fat and/or were sexless. Therapy will help hash this out.

If people followed “Pence rule”, they wouldn’t find themselves in this situation.

Op here: He has refused therapy but I have been in it. I am actually much more attractive even if a few years older. He is the one who didn’t want sex anymore..

I find this hard to believe. You are not telling the whole story

Anonymous wrote:Monogamy is overrated and too many women throw everything away over it unnecessarily.

If he's good to you and your kids and in the end you're always the one he comes home to -- and you don't think he's going to leave you -- then I'd advise sticking with him and living your own life at the same time.

Self respect isn’t overrated. Get half and get out.

Don’t tip your hand now.
Consult the lawyer and find out your options. . Get into therapy if you need to. Then tell your husband what you plan to do.

Monogamy is overrated and too many women throw everything away over it unnecessarily.

If he's good to you and your kids and in the end you're always the one he comes home to -- and you don't think he's going to leave you -- then I'd advise sticking with him and living your own life at the same time.

Anonymous wrote:Sorry to hear that. Please seek therapy. He might be a scumbag or it could be because you got fat and/or were sexless. Therapy will help hash this out.

If people followed “Pence rule”, they wouldn’t find themselves in this situation.

Op here: He has refused therapy but I have been in it. I am actually much more attractive even if a few years older. He is the one who didn’t want sex anymore..

Sorry to hear that. Please seek therapy. He might be a scumbag or it could be because you got fat and/or were sexless. Therapy will help hash this out.

If people followed “Pence rule”, they wouldn’t find themselves in this situation.

I'm sorry OP. The good news is your kids will be out of the house in 4 years, so you don't have to worry as much about 50/50 custody that those of us with younger kids have to worry about.

Advice would really depend on your respective financial situations and how pleasant he is to live with. But honestly, without kids in the picture, why not just get out. Leave this loser.

I think you mean "advice."

Unfortunately for older women there really isnt a lot out there as a replacement unless you are hot and even then the men cant seem to stay monogamous easily. More than likely you will experience a similar man if you leave him.

If he was kind and contributing money and not forcing me to sleep with him I would totally use him the same way hes using you but for money for the kids. Think of it as extra time to spend on yourself and the kids while he goes out to his hobby.

Talking to him will be useless as you know.

Please don't say anything until you talk to a lawyer

Best of luck to you moving forward.
Hopefully you speaking to a lawyer and divorcing has no bearing on your kids going to a prestigious college and high school.

I am sorry. I know you feel alone but this is very, very common. Google chumplady. Find a good therapist, make appointments with a few lawyers and make sure you have access to all financial records (tax returns, statements for bank and investment accounts, etc.)

You will get through this.

I figured out that my spouse is having an affair for the past several months. I am struggling with confronting as he has lied to me a lot and I don’t expect honesty- I had confronted him about expenses and whereabouts. It is never a good timing I
Know but this seems bad with one child going to a prestigious college with high fee and other entering high school. My heart is broken. I will go for a legal consult once I can find a lawyer, but still don’t know when to tell him. My heart is breaking into
pieces..