After 9/11 I remember a column in the WP (don’t remember from whom) that hit home for me even though everything felt hopeless at the time. The gist was that awful things have happened since the dawn of time and yet people still persist. People fall in love, get married, have babies, make art, invent things, and just take moments to appreciate a sunrise or sunset during the most trying of times. Let yourself be upset, angry, hurt, sad, etc., but also do what brings you joy, and don’t feel bad about seeking out the things that comfort you.

Anonymous wrote:I know that life has ups and downs but I'm feeling pretty beat down right now. On those lists of most stressful life events, I could check a few off right now. Today I cried in public over something dumb, it was just the last straw. I'm sure people thought I was unhinged but damn, I'm just struggling right now. I've seen some very dark times in my life but this time period is vying for a top spot on the list. I'm tired and overwhelmed.


Do you have a funny story? A time you embarrassed yourself in public but can laugh about it now or at least not cringe in complete horror? A hopeful story? Words of wisdom? Strategies to get through a tough time? I need a distraction.

I am sorry. I know a lot of people going through similar things but some people are either better covering it up or maybe have their ready coping tools. One thing that has helped me is the mindset of I am doing all I can today. I am making the best of today. I think the rumination of what about next week or month or year can cause people to spiral. Also when you get up if you can do five minutes

1 jump in place 60 seconds
2 swing arms horizontal up an down 60
seconds
3 dead arms lateral 60 seconds
4 golf swing move 60 seconds
5 knee raise 60 seconds

(this is a chinese based ritual)

This gets you moving and is almost meditative and possible to do even if you are busy. After finishing it is like a positivity bump. I do this also before bed. I also lay with feet up against wall 10 minutes before bed to calm me

I try to work out but it is not always possible but I do walk my dog and he is so sweet and a greeter so forces me to chat


Ernest Holmes books are a go to and I listen on audio before I sleep. I make a point of forgiving people who are really unforgivable and that has helped. Remember to be the energy you want to receive.

On grief-I can tell you that I cry about my mom daily. I am trying not to beat myself up for memories our bumpy relationship. She had a hard life. She loved me I know that. I am also recognizing when I repeat some of her behaviors out of anxiety so I understand now why she was strict. She was scared. Wish I had figured this out 20 years ago but glad I have now.

Take care!

I once ugly cried when the Jehovah's Witnesses came to my door. I had just lost my mom, and these older ladies just made me crack. They never came by again!

There’s that time during the covid shelter in place when I was walking the dog and he was so excited at meeting another human, a neighbor I stopped to talk to, THAT HE PEED ON MY LEG. The fire hydrant was right there.

Also there’s that time I bought a crap skirt at Target and didn’t realize it was see through, and wondered why some construction workers were whistling at me.

Anonymous wrote:I once ugly-cried in a grocery store just from sleep deprivation from grad school finals. So many of us have cracked long before what you’re going through. You’re amazing.

Sleep deprivation is no joke. I ugly cried at a pharmacy while wrangling my newborn and toddler. My insurance wasn't working. I couldn't stop the water works.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I read Andrew Solomon's book on depression, Noonday Demon, and he talks about how he was so depressed he once shit himself in the grocery store... the book is beautiful and thoughtful, and maybe not the thing to read in this very moment, but you should read later. My big takeaway, however, was that as down and sad as I've ever felt, I never shit myself in the grocery store over it.

It'll get better, I promise.

I'm not sure if this was supposed to be funny, but your takeaway made me laugh, so thank you for that. I did not shit myself in public over sadness today, so I'm going to call that a win. That may become my mantra this week.

yes, it was supposed to be funny, but also very serious... it really can be worse, so, yeah, take it as a win that you just feel really down and not shit-your-pants-in-safeway-down.

Anonymous wrote:I read Andrew Solomon's book on depression, Noonday Demon, and he talks about how he was so depressed he once shit himself in the grocery store... the book is beautiful and thoughtful, and maybe not the thing to read in this very moment, but you should read later. My big takeaway, however, was that as down and sad as I've ever felt, I never shit myself in the grocery store over it.

It'll get better, I promise.

I'm not sure if this was supposed to be funny, but your takeaway made me laugh, so thank you for that. I did not shit myself in public over sadness today, so I'm going to call that a win. That may become my mantra this week.

I read Andrew Solomon's book on depression, Noonday Demon, and he talks about how he was so depressed he once shit himself in the grocery store... the book is beautiful and thoughtful, and maybe not the thing to read in this very moment, but you should read later. My big takeaway, however, was that as down and sad as I've ever felt, I never shit myself in the grocery store over it.

It'll get better, I promise.

I once ugly-cried in a grocery store just from sleep deprivation from grad school finals. So many of us have cracked long before what you’re going through. You’re amazing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think about this all the time: https://www.instagram.com/danharris/reel/C0CD4YSAe7V/

If it's not one thing, it's another. It really helps me when I feel like you are feeling.

Thank you for this. It's a good reminder.

It's CRAZY how much it helps me... in part because I sometimes think "ugh, if it werent' for this awful thing I would be so happy" and sometimes I use that to motivate myself to just power through and deal with this problem... but the reality is so much more complicated, and if you accept that and prepare for that, these bad days won't bother so much.

you can do it!

Anonymous wrote:I think about this all the time: https://www.instagram.com/danharris/reel/C0CD4YSAe7V/

If it's not one thing, it's another. It really helps me when I feel like you are feeling.

Thank you for this. It's a good reminder.

Anonymous wrote:Tell us what's going on w/ your life.

Job loss/job search/rejection, death of a parent/grief, a string of really uncanny bad luck...I know I need to reframe my thinking just having a hard time keeping my head above water today.

I think about this all the time: https://www.instagram.com/danharris/reel/C0CD4YSAe7V/

If it's not one thing, it's another. It really helps me when I feel like you are feeling.

Tell us what's going on w/ your life.

I know that life has ups and downs but I'm feeling pretty beat down right now. On those lists of most stressful life events, I could check a few off right now. Today I cried in public over something dumb, it was just the last straw. I'm sure people thought I was unhinged but damn, I'm just struggling right now. I've seen some very dark times in my life but this time period is vying for a top spot on the list. I'm tired and overwhelmed.


Do you have a funny story? A time you embarrassed yourself in public but can laugh about it now or at least not cringe in complete horror? A hopeful story? Words of wisdom? Strategies to get through a tough time? I need a distraction.