Anonymous
Post 07/20/2025 08:46     Subject: Do toxic people know they're toxic?
Anonymous wrote:Sometimes it is the dynamic between people that is toxic. The same person with someone else can be very non toxic.


Yes but a lot of that dynamic comes from whether the person thinks they can get something positive out of the relationship by being kind of get something positive by being unkind. Its not just the personalities it's rhe equations people set up with other people for personal gain and satisfaction.
Anonymous
Post 07/20/2025 08:28     Subject: Do toxic people know they're toxic?
Sometimes it is the dynamic between people that is toxic. The same person with someone else can be very non toxic.
Anonymous
Post 07/20/2025 08:16     Subject: Do toxic people know they're toxic?
Anonymous wrote:Everyone is toxic in their own unique way.

The ones who deny that are the ones you speak of.


This 100%. To all the PPs for instance, just listen to yourselves. None of you sound like them most gracious people in the world. Workplaces in particular bring out the worst in people. I work for a woman who was a strong supervisor and a major advocate for all her direct reports. Then she was overlooked for a well-deserved promotion in favor of a far less-qualified man, and she became more like the OP described. Many would now describe her as "toxic," but what about the "toxic" situation that put her there? I try to just separate people from their work lives and give most people grace.
Anonymous
Post 07/20/2025 08:12     Subject: Do toxic people know they're toxic?
Anonymous wrote:Everyone is toxic in their own unique way.

The ones who deny that are the ones you speak of.



This is an excellent example of a toxic person, and a toxic mindset. No OP I would say most often they don't because they lack true self awareness, and see everyone esles as the propblem and/or learn just enough therapy speak to be manipulative
Anonymous
Post 07/20/2025 08:06     Subject: Do toxic people know they're toxic?
Anonymous wrote:My mother is toxic af. Criticizes other women’s bodies to the point of making them cry while saying it’s because she’s a nurse and cares about their health (she has not worked as a nurse for 40 years). She complains about not having enough money despite living in a mansion close-in and yet makes fun of people for living in exurbs. She attends church weekly and identifies as a superior Christian, yet does not exhibit any of the grace, humility or generosity that Christians should aspire to. She makes any family event, whether a wedding or a funeral, all about her and has to be the star of the show.


Sister, is that you?

PP, I feel for you. Similar mother, I am nearly certain she has narcissistic personality disorder--not the social media portrayal of it-but the real thing.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2025 21:43     Subject: Do toxic people know they're toxic?
My mother is toxic af. Criticizes other women’s bodies to the point of making them cry while saying it’s because she’s a nurse and cares about their health (she has not worked as a nurse for 40 years). She complains about not having enough money despite living in a mansion close-in and yet makes fun of people for living in exurbs. She attends church weekly and identifies as a superior Christian, yet does not exhibit any of the grace, humility or generosity that Christians should aspire to. She makes any family event, whether a wedding or a funeral, all about her and has to be the star of the show.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2025 18:01     Subject: Do toxic people know they're toxic?
Everyone is toxic in their own unique way.

The ones who deny that are the ones you speak of.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2025 12:05     Subject: Do toxic people know they're toxic?
Some know and are self-aware and don't care, and some are simple-minded and don't know and if. you told them wouldn't care anyway.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2025 12:00     Subject: Do toxic people know they're toxic?
No, toxic people never know they’re toxic. They’re usually beyond helping too. If therapy could be done in a 30 min conversation therapists would be out of a job. Best to keep your distance.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2025 11:52     Subject: Do toxic people know they're toxic?
Anonymous wrote:I don’t think so. These are the types to say everyone else is toxic. I think that’s kind of a cornerstone of being toxic - lack of self-awareness.


OP here. Ooof. Yeah, that sums it/her up neatly. Thanks.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2025 11:47     Subject: Do toxic people know they're toxic?
Anonymous wrote:I don’t think so. These are the types to say everyone else is toxic. I think that’s kind of a cornerstone of being toxic - lack of self-awareness.


Absolutely this.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2025 11:46     Subject: Do toxic people know they're toxic?
No. The worst narcissist I know believes herself to be highly empathetic and compassionate. She is shrewd covetous and cheap af. Never helps anyone unless it personally benefits her and requires minimal effort. Had high expectations of others and even higher belief in herself being a “high quality” person. To be fair, she is fun, unless it costs her any time, money, or effort- or has a date. Not a young person either.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2025 11:38     Subject: Do toxic people know they're toxic?
No, I don't think toxic people know that they are. I have a coworker who is many ways a fun person to around: funny, engaging, great dad, smart, etc. However, he is also a huge gossip and liar, lazy, defensive, moody, etc. He is completely unable to self reflect which is why he is unable to accept any responsibility for his actions and can only blame others for his shortcomings. However, he is well liked by those who don't work directly with him because he does have an awesome personality on the surface.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2025 11:05     Subject: Do toxic people know they're toxic?
I don’t think so. These are the types to say everyone else is toxic. I think that’s kind of a cornerstone of being toxic - lack of self-awareness.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2025 11:04     Subject: Do toxic people know they're toxic?
A woman I frequently have to engage in meetings is what I would call a toxic person. She must be the center of attention at all times. She doesn't do a great job at her own work, but is constantly up in, and trying to mind, everyone else's business. She's a terrible gossip, frequently spreading lies just because it gives her something to say and a sense of superiority and importance.

Are people who behave this way happy with themselves? Are they blissfully unaware of the damage they cause to organizations and individuals? Is the harm part of the appeal of behaving this way?