You've gotten great advice here. Just wanted to say we need more people like you in this world who step up for kids. Main thing for this kid is to know that he has physical and emotional safety. Have fun with him, make things safe & cozy for him, show him that you know he's a great kid. He won't forget. <3

Don’t panic on the skinny issue. Some kids run thin. Offer him nutritious foods at regular mealtimes.

If he’s small for his age you can probably just use the size 7 diapers for him at night. We have found the Huggies Overnight diapers work better for overnight than any of the “pull-ups” because you can adjust them to make sure they are snug.

Get some good mattress protectors and also carry him to sit on the potty to pee when you go to bed at night (he will wake up a little but not much). It reduces the amount in his bladder so it’s less mess to clean up.

Get night lights if he wants them.

Find some good play therapy to deal with trauma. There should be some in your county that are sliding scale (income based).

Tell him that you’re happy he’s with you.

Skinny should resolve over time with regular nutritious meals.

Given his stressful, anxious, neglectful, unpredictable, and dysfunctional home-life I'm surprised bed-wetting is the only issue you have.

Fwiw, it's a normal reaction given his circumstances. Give it time.

Mine was about 11 when it stopped. We used a plastic mattress protector and then sheets over it. Otherwise the mattress get ruined over time.

I’d definitely take him to the pediatrician and ask about the bed wetting and his weight. That being said, both of these things can be pretty normal. One of my sons wet the bed until around that age (and it just stopped one day) and the pediatrician was never concerned. 2 of my 3 kids were very skinny (and pretty much still are as teens) regardless of diet, and the ped was never concerned. Obviously a chaotic lifestyle could be affecting both of these things as well, but who knows. But definitely take him in and get an exam.

For his room, let him choose the bedding and some decor that he likes, if you can. Probably no need to paint, though you can if you want to.

Bless you for taking care of him.

Agree about the pediatrician. It might take him some time to adjust to your home and process everything, so I’d let him eat whatever his comfort/familiar foods are and gradually make changes.

Presumably, there's a social worker involved, no?

Yup.
Get him a pediatrician asap.

Bed wetting is not unusual at his age. Sometimes it's physiological and sometimes psychological is kids who live with a lot of stress neglect and abuse often wet the bed . again this is where a pediatrician can help sort out they can also recommend a therapist which you all need. To help sort through his emotions with his mom and the same for you. You might be able to find a local parenting class grab a few books in parenting. I forget the exact name but there's a pretty decent series titled something like your child at X age.

Short-term for bed wetting offer the goodnight he might feel too babyish if he does just make sure he has a set of clothes nearby he can change into. Get him a night light or flashlight he might be scared of getting up to go to the bathroom at night a hall night light could work too and have him use the bathroom before bed Get him a bed and room set up ASAP he needs to feel.

it's permanent.

Feed fin what you eat. Ask if he has any favorites.

Let him help you but make sure he knows that your keeping him and that doesn't depend on the chores he does.

Bed-wetting is not under a child's control. Their bladder muscles have to mature. Sometimes, kids who have endured trauma wet the bed for longer.

Please take him to a pediatrician. If the doctor wants to do bloodwork, make sure he's well hydrated beforehand and they use a tiny pediatric needle. Watch out for constipation or diarrhea if you change his diet too drastically. It's OK for kids to have a wide range of body types, as long as they're getting a varied diet.

Thank you for taking care of this little one, OP.

If you don't know how to bond with him, sports and games of all types are great. And reading lots of books. Ask the librarian for suggestions for his age. Not too much screentime.

He is lucky to have you.

A lot of kids wet their bed until much older than that. Yes there are special pull-ups for older kids to wear at night called "Good Nights." My kids wore them even into late elementary school. Don't make him feel badly about it.

You should get him a visit with a pediatrician and ask them to recommend a pediatric registered dietician.

I'm not a mom but I'm an uncle to a 8 year old boy . His mom hasn't been a real great mother to him to say the least. She has gotten herself in legal trouble so we're taking care of our nephew for the foreseeable future . He is skinny for his age he has a good attitude and wants to help we're ever he can . My wife and I have no kids so this is all new to us he has wet the bed the last couple of nights my wife talked to him about it he said it happens most nights . Not sure how to handle that pull-ups maybe ? He's underweight for his age thinking gona try high calorie high carb foods any ideas ? Right now he's sleeping on a fold out bed . What should we all get for his care and own room this is all very new to us ?