Very poorly-written post, OP.

Dumping on other parents' choices is what we do, here on DCUM. You've got to make it way more interesting to get full points. Should have led with the doctor father's story, as if you knew the guy well, added some teen daughter angst and suffering as a result of her father's strictures. You know, the emotional treatment. Always works on the bleeding hearts out there.

You're not doing it right.

Anonymous wrote:Within reason, it's a good idea to let your child pick their courses.

I can see insisting they do some sort of language in middle school at some point, or that they take Honors or AP in HS if they are capable (or the reverse if they are not). Certainly on board for enforcing things like not stopping language at two years for a college-bound kid or taking minimum science or history, which restricts college choices and a kid may not grasp yet.

But I do not see value or widsom in meddling in class electives like "YOU MUST TAKE GUITAR NOT PIANO" or "YOU MUST TAKE CREATIVE WRITING, ECON IS BAD!" That's just micromanaging. (Ask me how I know...my husband tried to do this and was kind of set in his place when our kid talked to their own counselor to explain his case and get it changed. We're all good now.)

The decision should have always been between the student and his guidance counselor. Too many parents think they know more than they do. Guidance counselors know what’s best for their students.

I was forced to study Latin in lieu of Art in high school and I swore I would let my kid pick when it came time.

I have let them pick but oddly, actually wish I remembered more of the Latin! I was able to study art college classes and summers and work in an art adjacent field so all worked out. There is just not enough time to study ALL the areas of interest.

Definitely a balance. Some things are non negotiable in our house- like swim lessons, religious education, the most rigorous classes you are capable of successfully completing, at least one sport. But within those parameters, they can absolutely choose based on their own personal interests. We offer our thoughts, but not our choice.

Within reason, it's a good idea to let your child pick their courses.

I can see insisting they do some sort of language in middle school at some point, or that they take Honors or AP in HS if they are capable (or the reverse if they are not). Certainly on board for enforcing things like not stopping language at two years for a college-bound kid or taking minimum science or history, which restricts college choices and a kid may not grasp yet.

But I do not see value or widsom in meddling in class electives like "YOU MUST TAKE GUITAR NOT PIANO" or "YOU MUST TAKE CREATIVE WRITING, ECON IS BAD!" That's just micromanaging. (Ask me how I know...my husband tried to do this and was kind of set in his place when our kid talked to their own counselor to explain his case and get it changed. We're all good now.)

We landed on a balance too. I was very open to my kids picking based on their interests and did not interfere mostly. One picked all music, the other picked random things they were interested in learning about.

But I did give advice and one of my strong preferences was that my kids took Spanish as their language --and they both did - its very useful and we have several friends and people we know who speak spanish as their first language so I pushed that one hard. And one of my kids is fluent (obviously not just from high school classes - lived in Spain for a while).

I think it's fine to guide but ultimately give some freedom too.

We have landed on a balance. DS participated in a language immersion program in ES and we wanted him to continue the langue in MS, that ate up one of his two electives. He has free reign to choose the other elective. We provided advice and then let him choose.

We have allowed our child to have a say in whether he moved to the Center school for AAP, we are in FCPS, and whether he took AAP or Honors classes in MS. This is his education, he has to have ownership over it if we want him to take it seriously. He will choose to apply to TJ or not. We give him our thoughts and he makes choices. Sometimes he chooses things that we don't agree with but that is ok, it is an elective, it is not that big a deal.

I agree it’s short sighted to an extent, however, kids not getting their way is a VERY valuable lesson, and one that too many in our demographic never experience. So I just try not blame the parents too much… most are doing the best they can.

Though-out K-12 my now college age kids got options of what they wanted to study. French or German, Romeo and Juliet or Macbeth etc. I took the approach of letting my kids pick whatever they wanted because they know their own interests and they will get better grades doing things they are interested in. That seemed obvious and common sense to me.

However, many parents of other kids in the class disagreed. They would interfere to a sad degree, preventing kids from studying what they wanted for no good reason at all, just biases. From one Doctor dad of a 14 year old girl, “ economics is silly, nobody will respect it” and “ you won’t get into a good college with Art on your transcript “. It stems from insecurity and fear of closing doors down the road, I get it, but blocking teenagers from subjects they are passionate about seems short sighted.