My husband complains I'm on my phone, but he's always either on his phone or on his computer as a proxy for his phone because he gets texts and Slack on it, but he can be more self-righteous about phone use when he's on his computer. He's on his computer in the middle of the night often. Good sign, right? Our phones are issues, but the bigger problem is his self-righteousness, lack of self-awareness, and critical nature.

Anonymous wrote:Never mind the addiction. The addiction shows he has another problem. What's his real problem?

This.

Never mind the addiction. The addiction shows he has another problem. What's his real problem?

His phone must have a better battery than mine.

Yikes 😱 OP - - how old is your husband??

Since this is also directly negatively impacting your kids I would suggest marriage counseling to see if this would help your husband see how his behavior is affecting his entire family.

Wishing you all only the best.

What is he doing on his phone ?
Anyways, therapy or divorce.

A woman complaining about phone addiction? lmao

It's a problem but that's not what has destroyed the connection between you it's your need for control and dramatization that has done that.

You are driving around with him being passenger princess on the phone? Make him drive. Or leave without him and tell him it's better for him not to attend games than to spend the whole time on his phone.

It's an addiction.
and it may lead to/encourage an affair.

Get help/marriage counseling asap. You need an intervention. Don't let a good marriage go down the toilet

Anonymous wrote:Is he on his phone more than he'd like to be? If so, there's hope.

If he doesn't see the issue...you have a much bigger problem on your hands.

He may vaguely see the issue but definitely doesn't see it as problematic enough or care enough to change it.

Is he on his phone more than he'd like to be? If so, there's hope.

If he doesn't see the issue...you have a much bigger problem on your hands.

When you have asked for change, what kind of change have you asked for? A rule for both of you that when in the car together, phones stay away unless being used for directions or whatever makes sense to me.`

Mainly just a vent or looking for commiseration. I've asked for change and he's not interested in changing and trying to "insist" just leads to a fight.

Unless he's actively involved in one of his hobbies - he's on his phone almost 100% of the time. Playing video games, scrolling, checking work email etc. Our young kids see the top of his head more than his face. The minute we're in the car as a family he's on his phone. At the sideline of a soccer game he watches for a few minutes before pulling it out. In the middle of a 4th of July festival he was standing there in the middle of the field head down staring at his phone. It's bad enough that I'd rather him just not come to things than have him be there physically but checked out.

It has destroyed any connection between us. I vaguely remember that we used to have deeper convos and have fun together but its almost hard to imagine now. If I only had myself to worry about I'd 100% divorce over it....with the kids and the potential impact of divorce on them, i'm not sure yet. (not that their dad always being on his phone doesn't impact them also)