“Underwhelmed by her middle school which seems so big, disorganized, and not rigorous.”

What do you want from middle school? What does not rigorous mean? If it offers algebra and geometry that’s about all you really need from a middle school.

This is a really smart thing to be worried about OP. When we were looking for schools it wasn't on my radar at all but it should have been.

At schools like Sidwell and peers, it is really counter-cultural to go for a lesser option for merit aid. Most of your kids' classmates will have a blank check for college and a few will qualify for financial aid at top20 schools. There are very, very few who will be making any part of the decision based on finances. It's hard to the bearer of bad news in this regard to your senior when all their friends have the financial means to attend ANY school and their only obstacle is getting in (and in fact, some of their parents are writing additional checks to get them in---yes, this really happens).

Things are definitely a bit different at Catholic schools such as Gonzaga. There you have more a larger upper middle, professional class so it's more typical for a kid to say, "hey, I'm attending UGA or Vermont because they gave me 1/2 merit aid." At Sidwell and peers this almost never happens. Kids go to the best school they can get into and the check is written by their parents.

OP you're better off getting her some tutoring here and there and keeping her in public school so she rises in the ranks to those top 10 who go to the Ivy league colleges (depending on her inherent potential, obviously).

My kids were at a very high performing public HS in the DMV where they were probably in the top 25-30% only. By my DD's assessment they were each "run of the mill". We moved to California where they literally ranked within the top 10 students in a 600+ per grade HS on arrival. And they stayed in that in that category. Each got into all their high ranking colleges of choice.

Before committing to the private, check out the curriculum, college exmissions, and talk to parents of recent grads. We are not a wealthy family but chose private hs bc of the education. My kid just graduated and received an excellent education, and equally important to us, they are also academically and socially confident. They worked really hard and know they are well prepared. That said, our hs is very well regarded and kids/parents definitely shoot for top schools. Yes, pressure and expectation is high among high performing kids and connected families. But there is also a smaller subset that cares about value or just fit (vs prestige). Our private did provide support to help families understand financial aid and merit- but I imagine many privates do not. If you want merit, do your homework early to identify schools, and make sure your kid is well positioned. My kid got several strong merit offers from schools on their "target" list. (The reach schools were pretty much full pay. )

Anonymous wrote:High school is equally if not more important than college. Focus on providing a good high school education and the rest will work out.

Did not work for me. In retrospect I would have had better college merit aid chances coming from my local public high school. Private K-8 and public 9-12 would have been optimal for me as a serous student.

We did private high school, and both our kids went merit aid route for college rather than attending the most prestigious college to which they were accepted. Would make the same choices again.

My DD recently graduated from a DMV private high school. She knew that we were price sensitive for college. She therefore did not apply ED anywhere, although she did apply EA to several schools. She ended up receiving significant merit awards at two schools ($45K and $30K per year), and somewhat smaller awards at several others ($15K/year), and chose the least expensive option on the table. Which fortunately was also her top choice once the dust settled on the entire process.

We were not the only family chasing merit aid or otherwise focusing on price -- nor were the families concerned about cost limited to the FA families. There were some families focused on prestige but my impression was most people focused on fit.

DC is in private with help from our parents to pay the tuition. Public was not a good fit for a variety of reasons including being 2e (local public could handle giftedness OR learning difference - sort of - but not both). The focus at every step has been to get the best fit and foundation for the next step, not on trying to get into the most prestigious whatever.

For college DC knows that it’s in-state public, or a private with aid. Stats are great so far so there’s a decent chance for merit aid by targeting schools a tier or two below what stats indicate. We also might qualify for some need-based aid at some privates, but not at publics. The finances are important and DC is chasing merit, so no ED.

Yea, there are some families at any private school who are not wealthy and have to attend colleges they can afford. It is best to be open and honest about this with the kids. By 7th grade kids ought to understand that things cost money and that different families have different amounts of money.

My family was middle class at a private in a different metro. We did not have any vacations away after my sibling and I were moved to private school -- only staycations at home. Others would fly to Vail or Park City for Xmas and Barbados for spring break. Other kids were driving their own BMWs in HS. I did not have a car then -- or during college.

I was accepted at Princeton and by an in-state public college. Princeton's aid package was a Pell grant plus a pile of loans, which would have left me buried in debt. So I went to the in state public, which was much lower cost, and I turned out fine. (Note: This was a while ago. Princeton might be better about need-based aid now.)

I also could not study in a degree purely "for the love of learning". My parents were clear that college undergrad needed to lead to a job where I could support myself. Of course, they were quite correct. Some degrees really are best left to students from wealthy families. It was good that they were open and realistic with me early on.

High school is equally if not more important than college. Focus on providing a good high school education and the rest will work out.

Go public and save that money for college OP.

How many kids do you think get into each Ivy? Not many. get her tutoring and go public.

You want to send her to a private school for college prep, not prestige chasing. There are a lot of private school parents with that same mindset.

Depending on the particular private school’s outcome, I think it’s realistic to get merit from Macalester type of lac, if dc performs reasonably well. It’s really specific to the particular private school, better talk to parents there.

Why not take that 40k and go have amazing experiences with your child around the world instead of trying to save their way to a lifetime of teams meetings and powerpont

I want to send my DD to a specific school for high school in our area (not DMV) that costs around 40k a year. Second choice would be a school that costs around 30k. Our public high school is huge and not great college prep, though it consistently sends between 5-10 kids to Ivies a year out of 600 kids. Underwhelmed by her middle school which seems so big, disorganized, and not rigorous.

Are there private school parents on this board that aren’t letting their kid apply early decision or making their kids take into account costs? With schools starting to cross into the 100k range, our family can’t justify that cost even though we have a fair amount of savings. I don’t think it will be a problem if DD stays in public because many of her friends are UMC. But I don’t know about peer pressure at privates to go to the very best school regardless of cost. I’d be happy with DD getting merit from a school like Macalester or going to an out of state public to a school like Wisconsin.