Folklife festival

Wrestle him

It’s going to take time and you are going to have to find things naturally to connect, based on his interests.

My 14 yo basically wants nothing to do with me at the moment. Occasionally we can go out to eat and I go without whenever I can get the time. I nag a lot less since this is kid 2.

My oldest was like this at 14 and seems to like genuinely hanging out with me at 17 now. Eating, cooking, talking about cars are making his favorite activities.

Thank you everyone! A lot of these suggestions are great, and are things we have done and do do, usually when I have both boys on a weekend, but then they usually hang with each other and kind of ignore me, which I think is pretty typical for teens.

Where I feel like I am struggling is more with the weekdays. Our weekdays this fall will be pretty busy with sports, and homework, and chores that need to be done.

I feel like with my own kid, we have a lot of little ways we connect throughout an evening. So, we might listen to an old time radio show we both enjoy in the car, and chat about it, or he likes to cook so he might help me in the kitchen for a little bit, or he might share something interesting he learned at school, or we might play a quick hand of cards. It might be 15 minutes of connection, once or twice a day, and then he's back to doing homework, or I've dropped him at school or sports practice, or he's playing a video game.

My nephew and I don't have those moments, and the result is that I feel like all of our interactions consist of me nagging or directing him to do something he'd rather not do. Not that I'm spending an enormous amount of time nagging, but because I'm not really spending a lot of time interacting with him at all, there's no positive to outweigh the nagging, the way there is for my own kid, who requires nagging too!

+1 for asking him. Nats game, soccer game, Putt Across America at the Wharf, movies, parkour exhibit at National Building Museum, ice cream or any food spots / cooking at home, hiking near Great Falls or elsewhere, Comet Ping Pong for pizza and ping pong, Vuk pinball arcade in Chevy Chase Pavilion, paddleboarding or kayaking, outdoor chores around the house and helping with other items that need to get done.

Ask him what he likes…going out to eat is always a good one.

Golf

Cooking
Seeing movies
Playing music together
Playing basketball in the driveway
Landscaping/gardening

We do what needs to be done and have kids join in and help. It's not likely a 14 yr old needs to be entertained by a middle-aged woman all the time.

What are some things you and your teenager do together that the teen enjoys?

My 14 year old nephew is coming to live with us, so he can attend a school in our area. He's with us this week kind of as a trial, and I am realizing that I don't really have good ideas for things to do to connect with him.

I have my own son who is close in age and really good friends with his cousin, and when they're both here, it's fine, but both kids are into sports, and will have different schedules next year, so I know there will be blocks of time when my nephew is here and my son isn't, and I'd love to find something we could both do and enjoy.